a99kitten's Musings

Wolf pup - an amazing creature

This is disgusting. DISGUSTING. In the typical logic of the government, they put an animal, that man has nearly wiped out, on the Endangered Species list and then once they actually start to reproduce and thrive a LITTLE bit in the wild, they remove the protections so hunters can hunt them again. I HATE THE GOVERNMENT. I HATE HUNTERS.

The only reason I think Democrats are useful at all is so they at least enact laws that benefit animals. Nope – this President and administration can’t even get that right.

Man has done its best to wipe out the predators at the top of the wild life food chain due to man’s own inability to accept that without guns, they would be the ones wiped out. Except that bears, lions, wolves, great white sharks, etc do NOT want to kill humans. They hunt to eat. They eat to survive. They don’t go out and kill things for some perverse joy, or to mount human heads on their den walls and pound their chest as they point to it “Look what I did. Look how strong I am.” No assclown – you had a high-powered rifle. Only man is as sick and twisted and evil as this. To seek out creatures solely for the purpose of destroying them is man’s claim to fame. It’s been long proven that if you can be cruel and inflict pain on animals for joy, then you are 1 step away from doing it to people. Hunting for sport is this. Hunting to eradicate a species is this. Look into the abyss and see yourself.

I sincerely hope with all of my heart that anyone who participates in this type of thing gets a horribly disfiguring disease. Or better yet – shot in the face by your hunting buddy. And I mean this. Completely.

The below is from Defenders of Wildlife…if you can sign the petition – great. If you can donate money to their cause – awesome! But at the very least read it….

Hi,

This is outrageous.

This winter, Cabela’s and Sportsmans Warehouse, two major outdoor retailers , sponsored predator derbies in Idaho where formerly protected wolves were targeted by contestants who vied to see who could kill the most wolves and other animals over a two-day period.

Worse, the entry fees for these brutal competitions were then funneled to support anti-wolf lawyers working to keep wolves in Greater Yellowstone off the endangered species list.

Wildlife-loving people fought too hard for too long to rescue wolves in the northern Rockies from the brink of extinction to silently tolerate corporate sponsorship of bloody competitions like this.

That’s why I’ve joined Defenders of Wildlife’s fight to get Cabela’s and Sportsman’s Warehouse to withdraw their support for predator derbies that target wolves, and I am hoping you will too.

Please sign the petition online at

https://secure.defenders.org/site/Advocacy?JServSessionIdr004=tr3987i3w2.app223a&cmd=display&page=UserAction&id=1667

Thanks for helping…

Over the past 3 years or so husband has created a “donation or sell” pile in our home office. It has gotten bigger and bigger with no action on the actual donating or selling.

Last night I had to get everything off of the floor as the carpet cleaners were coming this morning. So I took all of the bags of stuff I put together to be donated in the garage. I also took about 2/3 of his pile using the, what I considered, logical reason that it’s been there for THREE years.

He saw the pile in the garage this morning. He moved several of the items to get to his car.

On my way to work today I dropped everything off. I was thrilled. Stuff out of my house! Yay!

This evening I mentioned to husband how thrilled I was about this simple action being completed. He asked about one of items. He was confused why I would donate it. How he wanted to use it.

Really I asked? Even though it’s been sitting in a pile for 3 years on the floor?Yes he responded.

Too bad I said. If you haven’t needed it all this time, or valued it enough to move it from a pile on the floor, you do not need it.

He did not agree.

WHA? *shouldsmackhiminthehead*

I am crying laughing at this commercial. They have been playing it during the football games today. Haven’t seen it before but Superbowl commercial worthy…

Today is January 22nd (barely anymore as I write this on the West Coast.) It’s the anniversary of Roe v. Wade. Who knew? I would not have known that had I not seen it on twitter. It’s not some date I keeping my calendar for remembrance, that’s for sure.

I ended up watching a TV show tonight (on DVR so broadcast previously) that dealt with abortion. Funny. Well…not funny ha-ha…

I had an abortion. Not a “real” one. Not a choice that I actually made. I was pregnant. The baby didn’t make it. So the doctor gives you a choice of allowing your body to deal with it naturally (which can cause complications) or you have a D&C – which is the same procedure as an abortion.

I am against abortion. If the mother is raped, or the baby is found to be abnormal after tests, then that is up to the individual. But as a form of birth control? As a way of “dealing” with a pregnancy? As a way of dealing with “oopsie” I am against it. 100% against. You can rail on me as an anti-feminist (fine, whatever – “feminists” as a whole – pathetic.) You can rail on me as a religious zealot (umm…riiight…I am so not.) I don’t ever recall discussing this subject with either parent so it is 100% my decision, my opinion. One that I will never back down from. I don’t walk around and shove my opinion down your throat, but if you ask me, I will tell you. But that’s probably all of my opinions..

I’ve read all of the arguments. I’ve seen and heard what people for and against argue. And I do not agree with all of the anti-abortion stance at all either. I just know what I feel. And…well…this is my blog.

Now, in my perfect world, it would be legal, safe and accessible when *needed* because it would only ever be used in the extreme circumstance by people that use their brains and common sense. Right….and then I wake up to the real world…

I simply do not believe, at all, the pro-abortion definition that a life is only a life once it is able to sustain outside of the mother’s womb. And frankly, anyone that has seen a preemie, can throw that argument out the fn window. Keep repeating it to yourself to make yourself feel ok though…

And If you can say you are FOR late term abortions being legal…well, in my opinion, something is wrong with you. Go to a maternity ward and look at a 7, 8 or 9 month term newborn – or younger! That’s what you are saying is OK to abort. I was one month preemie. Agreeing that 3rd term abortions are safe and OK is saying I was not a viable life. So F and then U.

Anyway, so I had the D&C procedure. It was the one of the saddest days of my entire life. As was when the doctor told me the fetus was no longer viable (doctors aren’t sure which side of the coin you fall on so they play PC.) I don’t think I’ve ever cried that much. And so deeply and from my heart and gut. And how I felt for hours, days and weeks after. The deep, seemingly unending sadness and heart break that I felt. And something that kept going through my head during this time, as I felt this way, was “People make this decision on their own? Women choose to do this? What the F is wrong with people that THIS is a “choice”?”

I can tell you this – anyone that chooses to go through this procedure, chooses to end a life, has something inside that they need to deal with. I’m not saying it can’t happen. And I’m not saying it can’t happen to good people. What I am saying – if this is an easy decision, if this is decision you just deal with and move on. And maybe even have to make again. There is something much bigger that you need to fix.

So no, I do not believe abortion should be as easy to get as a flu shot. I do not think minors should be able to get one without a parent’s knowledge. It sickens me that there are clinics and doctors devoted entirely to this and making it an easy, simple thing to obtain. Should it be entirely illegal? No. But it should be damn hard to do and it should make you think long and heard about the choices you made leading up to this choice.

I can still get sad about this. And I’m pretty tough. Everyone expected me to go on and be OK and I was. It’s something that happened and you have to deal with it. But it’s always there. And this wasn’t even a decision that I had to make. My body made it for me.

So for any blathering idiot out there who is spouting RA-RA PRO ABORTION, PRO WOMAN’S RIGHTS and wants to tell me that my opinion is stone-age and wrong. Unless you have gone through this YOURSELF – you know nothing. And should shut the hell up.

…so I might have accidentally bought this today…

I LOVE the color. And I do *not* have any bag, in any size or shape, in light pink which is my signature color!! How is that possible??? I have bright pink but no baby pink. Well…now I do :) Yay! I love my other Gustto bag! The leather and quality is amazing. So hopefully this one will be just as well-loved.

I was able to get it half off too! Bought it on Avelle.com. Received their “special today only sale on Gustto bags” email this morning. Eviiiiil….They were formerly Bag, Borrow and Steal (as made famous in the Sex and the City movie.) I have never rented anything but I did buy my Botkier from them and it was in perfect condition. And this bag has never been rented so it is brand new. A good deal I think :) I found the bag on endless.com but only in lime – no pink. Saks didn’t have it in pink either – only orange.

I’ve been looking for a cute pink bag since summer! I wanted a smaller bag/clutch since pink is delicate (like me!) and didn’t want it in a big hobo or satchel. My bright pink Kate Spade is small too but 2 totally different colors :) All of the bags I found in my searching were either too big, not the right color or well…just not right. Hopefully in real life, this one will be as cute as all of the pics I found online indicate it be!

I’m very excited for its arrival!

I recently finished reading “Nanny Returns”, the sequel to “The Nanny Diaries”. I liked it a lot. Was definitely a fun read that I thoroughly enjoyed. And it made me want to go rent The Nanny Diaries movie even though I’m not such a huge Scarlett Johansson fan. I thought the authors did a great job of getting us to care about Nanny’s life 12 years later but also the 2 X kids – Grayer and Stilton. I think Grayer reminded me a little of my little brother so I was especially concerned for him :) If they had written this and made it into a movie years and years ago – Leo DiCaprio would have been perfect. I have to say I was always turning the page with anticipation to find out what would happen so this is a sign of a good book to me (“A real page-turner!”) One that keeps me interested/entertained from cover to cover.

It also reminded me of when I was first reading The Nanny Diaries years ago. And how the other side of the nanny equation can go…

I used to work at a hedge fund. The Managing GP that I worked directly for had a nanny, who was possibly one of the worst human beings I have ever personally met. Wife #1 could be a runner-up though. My boss knew how I felt about his nanny but he thought she did an OK job (no, she didn’t) and she had worked for his wife for years. So when they separated, and he took the kids for his weekends or holidays, she would come with the kids to “help out”. Long story short, he eventually found out so much bad stuff about her – little things like she had sex on the household pool table while the were parents out and kids asleep upstairs, bringing multiple boyfriends/sex partners to their home while she was “watching” kids and the big one: stealing a LOT of money from various household accounts she had access to. I never said “I told you so” to my boss but he apologized to me for thinking I was the one who needed to cut her some slack. And the day she got fired was pretty darn entertaining for me.

So now “we” (=I) needed to find a replacement nanny quick. My boss was a very nice man. Very kind and generous. But he was also very demanding. When you worked for him, you were also saying “I have no personal life that can’t be interrupted by your call or request.” I worked all the time. Nothing in his life happened without my direction or organization of it. He worked even more than all the time though so can’t really fault him for expecting that. The finance industry is a high-energy place to work. It can also cause so much stress you can’t even stand it. So when he went home, he wanted no stress. Considering he was responsible for hundreds of millions of dollars and was at the office by 5am every day and researched stocks at night and on the weekends – not really too much to ask for. Once he and wife #1 separated, I started managing his household staff and personal finance as part of my job as his Executive Assistant and later added on office manager, HR and portfolio accounting as well. Oh yeah – IT too since I knew the most about our phone systems, alarm system, trading machines and office network. So I might as well be responsible for finding you a new nanny now too…

We tried out a girl that a family friend had recommended. She was Swiss. Blonde. 21-22ish. And any stereotype that you can conjure up of a dumb blond – she would meet. Although later on I did become convinced she was more manipulative and played off men using her looks than actually dumb.

On her drive over to our office for her interview she got lost so was pretty late. My boss hated late. Now, this was after I faxed her typed directions that a blind person could follow (this was pre-PDA, everyone having email, etc.) When she got there and explained to my boss how she got lost because the directions weren’t clear AND the address was wrong – I took them from her and re-read them. No…a blind person truly could have found their way using them. I showed them to my boss after the interview. He knew they were fine (he always teased that I gave him travel itineraries that a 5-yr old could follow) but he was desperate for the nanny help for his upcoming weekend (he had 4 monsters..I mean children..he did need the help) so decided it was probably her language barrier that caused the problem and that she didn’t mean to blame my directions. Uh-huh. Your kids pal.

No need to go into all of her trials and tribulations. The best one to me…the one that stands out as the “Really?” moment was when I went out to my boss’ beach house, where he spent nearly every weekend and holiday with his kids, to inspect the house after something or another. He didn’t really trust any one else but me to do stuff like that so I drove out there (2 hour drive each way) after the markets closed. Fun.

I walk in and I see these GIANT pictures made with magic marker all over the walls in the family room. I asked the nanny what the heck happened here? Her response (won’t use real names) “Jack did that.” So you were here with him when he did this I asked? “Yes.” *Me=looking at her like she was insane and waiting for the explanation that was not coming* So why did you let him do this I asked. “He said this was his house so he could.” What? He is 10. This is the answer you accepted? As the responsible adult in the house? When given to you by the 10-yr old?? It’s his house? “Yes.”

She didn’t last much longer after that.

The next nanny was a friend of mine. She was supposed to be a temporary solution: a few weeks, part-time as a favor while we looked for someone full-time and permanent. I think she still blames me for the next few years of her life…

And so when I was reading The Nanny Diaries and would come to some completely familiar event in the book, an event where any normal person would think “there is no way anyone could ever really behave like that”, I would call her and recount some ridiculous/awful/hysterical/hair-pulling event of our own. And there were plenty. We could write our own book(s). Because I was basically in charge of organizing my boss’ entire life, I interacted with her daily. Once he got married wife #2 aka Succubus Bitch, she would call me even more – usually to vent a bit so she could get it all out and there would be no need to help her hide a body.

In The Nanny Returns, there is whole circle of mommies and daddies who are some of the worst parents known to mankind. And as I read it I hoped upon hope that these characters were not based on real people and real events with names changed to protect the guilty. But I know they are real. I know parents like this exist. But do understand – there are plenty of bad employees out there too who take advantage of the wealthy situations they are hired into – I saw enough of that as well.

So when you read books like The Nanny Diaries or Nanny Returns, or the Devil Wears Prada, and roll your eyes and say there is no way people can actually be like that or expect things like that, know that they do exist. Plenty of them.

And I recommend all 3 of the books as fun reads :)

A couple months ago I got pulled over by CHP and given a ticket for running a stop sign. I did not do this. And I’m sure everyone who does do it says the same thing but I know for a fact I did not do it.

This was close to my house. Just a few blocks away actually. And it’s an intersection I go through every day on my way to work. This happened to be a Saturday in October during the Pumpkin Festival weekend. The cops were out in force – I assume to nab tourists as well as drunk drivers. I had seen CHP around and on Highway 1, pulling cars over, all week long.

I mentioned to the cop that he must be mistaken since I know I looked at the 4 different streets/traffic flows as well as looking for pedestrians since I cross at this intersection almost daily when I walk my dogs. And I have been almost taken out by jerks who DO blow through the stop sign. I explained that, frankly, I look more for dogs and their walkers at the intersection than cars so I knew I stopped fully and looked.

I speed on the freeway all the time. Daily really. And when I’ve gotten speeding tickets in the past, I don’t argue with the officer or fight them. But what I do NOT do is speed or drive recklessly in neighborhoods. I am always looking for animals or kids in the street. Always.

So when this cop first said I didn’t come to a complete stop at the stop sign, I said that I know I did and in fact, had stopped longer than the county community bus that had been at the stop sign in front of me. I pointed out that I am a local and stop at this intersection EVERY day. Then after giving him my license, registration and insurance information and he came back with my ticket, he said that I had blown through the stop sign. I pointed out that is not what he just said a few moments ago and that I now know he is definitely mistaken since there is no way I did that. I also knew that would just piss him off but he already wrote the ticket so he wasn’t taking it back..

He handed me documents back with the ticket and he went right back sitting in his tourist trap. Nice. Don’t even get me started on using the police/CHP this way.

I was angry. And I was determined to fight it. So I filed a Written Declaration with the court stating I was not guilty and wrote up my version. And mailed it off with the “bail” (they want the money up front in case you are found guilty!) They have 90 days to respond. So I waited…

Now, this is actually the 2nd time I have fought a ticket. The first time was for running a red light in San Francisco. I did not run a red light so I fought it. I took pictures of the intersection, timed the light and wrote up my version. I went to court (first time ever in a court room!) and the place was jammed pack full. First, they offer everyone there the chance to plead guilty and get your bail reduced by 50% and you can leave. Everyone but 3 people did this – 1 of them was me. Now…I thought of taking the deal for a brief second. Mainly because I knew my husband would freak if he knew I could have paid 50% less, didn’t take the deal and then lost. BUT – 1) I knew I was right and refused to plead guilty when I was not. And 2) I am a much bigger gambler than my husband.

So the first 2 guys went up and plead their cases. The judge found them both guilty. Yikes. My turn…I went up to the Judge, was very polite and professional, handed him my packet of pictures and information and after reviewing it and asking me a couple of questions, he found me NOT GUILTY! I was so relieved. I walked out of there so, so relieved. I called my husband right away and he could not believe it. HA!

I was more doubtful of this time though since that was San Francisco and the cops there have a lot better things to do than show up in court. This time was CHP officer who job is to write tickets. My guess was he would write up his version and the judge would find me guilty and I would then have to actually go to court to fight further (because I have a LOT of spare time during the day…) or just bite the bullet, be guilty and take the point on my insurance (husband’s head would also explode at that point.)

After I mailed away my Written Declaration I put it aside in my head and wrote it off as guilty while secretly hoping I was wrong and would win.

I stopped at our PO box tonight on the way home and saw the envelope from the court. I thought “Ugh…I’ll open it tomorrow. I don’t want to be in a bad mood tonight.” But then decided that was stupid and opened it right there. NOT GUILTY!!!!! I was pretty dang happy. Went home with a smile on my face and still have one. A pretty darn big one :)

Justice might not prevail all the time but nice to know it does some of the time…

I found this coat at Banana Republic TOTALLY BY ACCIDENT (I swear I was not looking!) while returning something :) It was the only 1 one there, in an XS and they were offering 30% off the sale price making the coat $65.00 which is basically free for a nice, warm, cute coat! And bonus – NOT made in China – yay!!! SOLD!

I have been wanting a shorter jacket/coat for a while but the ones I found and loved were always sold out in my size or color. I did just get a red peacoat (every girl needs a red coat) but still wanted a shorter, waist-length jacket/coat that was warmer than blazers but dressier than my North Face stuff. So I snapped it up :)

And let me just say – I look WAY cuter in it than this model :) My hair color looks way better against it ;)

Now…I still want a short coat in black too but that’s another story…

Finally sitting down today. I literally have not sat down since I woke up. Between dog walks and laundry and cleaning and getting the house ready for the painters and cooking…But I got a lot done! Anyway, watching an old episode of Private Practice from December that was on the DVR. Without going into the whole episode of emo-chick television, storyline has a 60yr old woman married to a 30yr old man and having issues with a pregnancy (woman is 60 – duh).

Anyway…as soon as they showed the wife I had the reaction I was supposed to have. Disbelief. Some shock. It’s obvious that is what the show was going for. And the commercial break after the first introduction to the 60yr old wife gave us a long Victoria’s Secret Angel lingerie ad. Really? Did you plan that ABC?

The fact that they expect us to believe that this nice looking 30yr old man would be happily married to a 60yr old woman is ridiculous. The reason for this is simple. Men are superficial. Period. Even the “nice” ones are. It’s why your Dad hates all of your boyfriends. He knows what they are thinking. Even if they are the nice guy, student body council President, the “golly gee Mr. so-so” kind of guy (my dad hated those the guys the most!)

And you can say oh women are gold diggers so that is the only reason they end up with old guys. Well…I agree and yet disagree with this. Women typically search out security. Men who offer security. Now this can be in the form of physical strength/security, emotional security, financial security, etc. Are there gold-digging whores who search out men who will pay their bills? Absolutely. I’ve known some. Hate them the most.

But men…they search out hotness. Period. If a woman gains 10 pounds – men are disgusted. At the very least, they are bothered but just don’t say anything. This makes them “nice”. But they are never simply NOT bothered.

Guys say oh “Twilight” is stupid. Women just want a guy who is obsessed with them and unrealistic. Blah blah blah. No…women want a guy who thinks they are perfect and beautiful and wonderful. No matter what. THIS is the fantasy part. No man ever will.

So television and movies and books, etc. are there as fantasy. As fun. As an interlude. Why channels like Lifetime and Oxygen and Harlequin romance novels sell. And why Twilight sold so well to the non-tween crowd. And why girls are so susceptible to the rom-com. That fantasy of being perfect in the eyes of someone. Period.

ok..maybe not YOU :) I am using the royal you ;)….

I think that I go out of my way to be sure I am nice to people. By nice, I don’t mean “walk all over me” kind of nice. No…pretty sure you could not say that about me. And I can definitely let the bitch out when I feel its warranted. But I don’t choose to be rude or mean to people unless pushed to that edge. I’ve been described as a very long fuse, but highly explosive :) But I think I’m kind to those close to me. I cut them all kinds of slack. It takes a while to get into my “circle” but once you are there, you are there. Call me in the middle of the night and need help hiding the body…sigh…ok. We’ll discuss the body later but for now, I’ll help you dig the hole….Now, strangers/non-friends on the other hand…well…if you’re stupid, I will say so.

But I definitely do not push buttons just because it is fun. I know people that do and I simply cannot understand it. Because really – it’s a very unattractive personality trait. Especially when the people you do it to are friends/family/loved ones. And since those are the people whose buttons you probably know the best, you know what not to push so it’s pretty much done on purpose.

But some people revel in it I think. And I simply do not get this. I mean, I guess I could just sum it up and say you are a complete jerk. Because short of that, there is no reasonable explanation.

And I’m not over-sensitive. I mean, I *can* be sensitive about things and get my feelings hurt or whatever, but I also blow stuff off pretty quickly. Not to say I won’t remember it *forever*, but I don’t let most things bug me too long because it’s a waste of time and energy. I am not a person you have to walk on eggshells around. So if you have actually gotten to me and bothered or upset me, then you are a class A button-pushing jerk.

And I understand teasing and ribbing. But there is a difference between good-natured teasing and being intentionally mean. I think some guys treat each other a certain way and then turn around and treat girls the same way. But they probably shouldn’t. If your best bud doesn’t mind if you call him a fattie or tell him he sucks at something, or is fugly, my guess is your girlfriend will mind if you say the same thing to her. Must be that guys just mature muuuch slower? Or maybe they simply don’t care about anyone’s feelings but their own (if they have them at all) but welcome to the world where you interact with other living beings.

Again, I’m not over-sensitive (unless you question my dog parenting skills in which case I will just hit you :) ) I’m not overly-PC (umm..at all), don’t get offended by jokes and don’t really care what most people think anyway (you need to be close to me for me to care.) But if you are close to me, and know a button of mine (or a friend’s), why push it? What’s the point?

Same goes with being super critical. Is there constructive criticism? Sure? Are you allowed your own opinion? Of course. But are you going out of your way to be highly critical and nit-picky at the expense of someone else when there is no good reason for it other than being a jerk? That’s bad form.

I worked for a hedge fund before my current job. The partner I worked for was (and still is) probably one of the nicest people on the face of the planet. Another partner was OK and the 3rd was a giant a-hole. He tried yelling AT me once (at me like he was mad at someone else but I was the closest one to him) and I told him flat out “You cannot yell at me. I do not work for you and I will not tolerate it.” And I walked away. That was that. But working in that kind of environment definitely toughened my skin. So if I feel you are being a jerk, most other people would probably have smacked you by now.

I wish I could understand why people act like this. Or maybe, like with crazy people, you aren’t meant to understand it because it’s just wrong and not meant to be understood or accepted. But I don’t like it. Not the way you should be with anyone you claim to care for…in my opinion.