a99kitten's Musings

I recently finished reading “Nanny Returns”, the sequel to “The Nanny Diaries”. I liked it a lot. Was definitely a fun read that I thoroughly enjoyed. And it made me want to go rent The Nanny Diaries movie even though I’m not such a huge Scarlett Johansson fan. I thought the authors did a great job of getting us to care about Nanny’s life 12 years later but also the 2 X kids – Grayer and Stilton. I think Grayer reminded me a little of my little brother so I was especially concerned for him :) If they had written this and made it into a movie years and years ago – Leo DiCaprio would have been perfect. I have to say I was always turning the page with anticipation to find out what would happen so this is a sign of a good book to me (“A real page-turner!”) One that keeps me interested/entertained from cover to cover.

It also reminded me of when I was first reading The Nanny Diaries years ago. And how the other side of the nanny equation can go…

I used to work at a hedge fund. The Managing GP that I worked directly for had a nanny, who was possibly one of the worst human beings I have ever personally met. Wife #1 could be a runner-up though. My boss knew how I felt about his nanny but he thought she did an OK job (no, she didn’t) and she had worked for his wife for years. So when they separated, and he took the kids for his weekends or holidays, she would come with the kids to “help out”. Long story short, he eventually found out so much bad stuff about her – little things like she had sex on the household pool table while the were parents out and kids asleep upstairs, bringing multiple boyfriends/sex partners to their home while she was “watching” kids and the big one: stealing a LOT of money from various household accounts she had access to. I never said “I told you so” to my boss but he apologized to me for thinking I was the one who needed to cut her some slack. And the day she got fired was pretty darn entertaining for me.

So now “we” (=I) needed to find a replacement nanny quick. My boss was a very nice man. Very kind and generous. But he was also very demanding. When you worked for him, you were also saying “I have no personal life that can’t be interrupted by your call or request.” I worked all the time. Nothing in his life happened without my direction or organization of it. He worked even more than all the time though so can’t really fault him for expecting that. The finance industry is a high-energy place to work. It can also cause so much stress you can’t even stand it. So when he went home, he wanted no stress. Considering he was responsible for hundreds of millions of dollars and was at the office by 5am every day and researched stocks at night and on the weekends – not really too much to ask for. Once he and wife #1 separated, I started managing his household staff and personal finance as part of my job as his Executive Assistant and later added on office manager, HR and portfolio accounting as well. Oh yeah – IT too since I knew the most about our phone systems, alarm system, trading machines and office network. So I might as well be responsible for finding you a new nanny now too…

We tried out a girl that a family friend had recommended. She was Swiss. Blonde. 21-22ish. And any stereotype that you can conjure up of a dumb blond – she would meet. Although later on I did become convinced she was more manipulative and played off men using her looks than actually dumb.

On her drive over to our office for her interview she got lost so was pretty late. My boss hated late. Now, this was after I faxed her typed directions that a blind person could follow (this was pre-PDA, everyone having email, etc.) When she got there and explained to my boss how she got lost because the directions weren’t clear AND the address was wrong – I took them from her and re-read them. No…a blind person truly could have found their way using them. I showed them to my boss after the interview. He knew they were fine (he always teased that I gave him travel itineraries that a 5-yr old could follow) but he was desperate for the nanny help for his upcoming weekend (he had 4 monsters..I mean children..he did need the help) so decided it was probably her language barrier that caused the problem and that she didn’t mean to blame my directions. Uh-huh. Your kids pal.

No need to go into all of her trials and tribulations. The best one to me…the one that stands out as the “Really?” moment was when I went out to my boss’ beach house, where he spent nearly every weekend and holiday with his kids, to inspect the house after something or another. He didn’t really trust any one else but me to do stuff like that so I drove out there (2 hour drive each way) after the markets closed. Fun.

I walk in and I see these GIANT pictures made with magic marker all over the walls in the family room. I asked the nanny what the heck happened here? Her response (won’t use real names) “Jack did that.” So you were here with him when he did this I asked? “Yes.” *Me=looking at her like she was insane and waiting for the explanation that was not coming* So why did you let him do this I asked. “He said this was his house so he could.” What? He is 10. This is the answer you accepted? As the responsible adult in the house? When given to you by the 10-yr old?? It’s his house? “Yes.”

She didn’t last much longer after that.

The next nanny was a friend of mine. She was supposed to be a temporary solution: a few weeks, part-time as a favor while we looked for someone full-time and permanent. I think she still blames me for the next few years of her life…

And so when I was reading The Nanny Diaries and would come to some completely familiar event in the book, an event where any normal person would think “there is no way anyone could ever really behave like that”, I would call her and recount some ridiculous/awful/hysterical/hair-pulling event of our own. And there were plenty. We could write our own book(s). Because I was basically in charge of organizing my boss’ entire life, I interacted with her daily. Once he got married wife #2 aka Succubus Bitch, she would call me even more – usually to vent a bit so she could get it all out and there would be no need to help her hide a body.

In The Nanny Returns, there is whole circle of mommies and daddies who are some of the worst parents known to mankind. And as I read it I hoped upon hope that these characters were not based on real people and real events with names changed to protect the guilty. But I know they are real. I know parents like this exist. But do understand – there are plenty of bad employees out there too who take advantage of the wealthy situations they are hired into – I saw enough of that as well.

So when you read books like The Nanny Diaries or Nanny Returns, or the Devil Wears Prada, and roll your eyes and say there is no way people can actually be like that or expect things like that, know that they do exist. Plenty of them.

And I recommend all 3 of the books as fun reads :)