a99kitten's Musings

The sadness and tragedy of what happened last night/early this morning is undeniable. Those people were excited all day about seeing a fun movie, maybe even dressed up in costume, hung out for hours in line joking around and making “line friends” and going over the details of the last 2 Batman movies or the comics. Everyone was excited and happy. And certainly not looking over their shoulder for a complete psycho.

The news stories I’ve read with witness accounts are scary. I cannot even imagine how frightening that was for people.

I love comics. And I love movies. I’ve been to midnight showings for the Star Wars prequels, Indiana Jones IV and the Twilight movies. It’s an event and is super fun. At no time did I ever, ever worry about my safety. And I’m sure the same could be said for everyone else there with me. Sadly, that might not be true anymore. Will it stop me from going to midnight showings? No. But it will make me think about. And that’s just wrong.

Comic books and movies were made for the purpose of escaping. Escaping into a different world. Fantasy. Escape your hectic life for a couple hours, maybe your kids, certainly the world. But some sociopath decided to bring his insanity to others. And to wreck that escape. Solely because he is sociopath.

I’d be surprised if we didn’t get some parade of how he was abused as a child, bullied in school, hated by others, blah blah blah. Doesn’t matter. Even if hundreds of people treated him like crap all of his life – they didn’t kill him. And I’m betting none of them were in that theater. But in today’s society, you are almost never responsible for your own actions. Someone will find some disorder that applies. And justify your actions for you. And place at least some of the blame elsewhere. Well guess what? No. He is simply a psycho.

And guess what else? He would have been able to get weapons legally OR illegally if he really wanted. So I don’t want to hear that strict gun control laws would have prevented this. It would not have. Criminals will always be able to get weapons. Always. So this political volleyball will undoubtedly be bounced around. And that is stupid. But stupidity never stopped politicians from doing anything.

And reading stories how this is related to Batman and the comic book universe? I can’t even respond to something so stupid.

Be sad for the people that lost their lives and were injured. Be sad for their families. And be a little sad for yet another pocket of fun and innocence being ruined for us all.

http://www.ft.com/cms/s/0/43860706-d0e3-11e1-8957-00144feabdc0.html#ixzz21CAv0YGt

….”have we found out how many Jedi Knights there are in England and Wales?

We don’t yet know. Almost 400,000 people stated that their religion was “Jedi” in the 2001 census, making belief in The Force the fourth most popular religion. I have no idea whether Jedism is an evangelical religion or not. If it is, that number might well have risen.

It all seems rather confusing to me.

That’s just an old Jedi mind trick.”

That is pretty darn funny if you ask me. I hope the 2011 census shows even more! :)

The best parody ever!! I saw a little of this while at SDCC last week but never saw the entire thing. A friend just posted it on FB and reminded me of its awesomeness!

I also posted the original below so you can compare (yes that is the Biebs) :) Also…now I want to sit down and watch all 6 movies again!!!!

OG:

What makes even funnier (for me anyway) is that this song followed me everywhere while at Comic Con! In the hotel elevators, in the hotel gift shop (where the shop girls grabbed me and we all danced to it all arond the store while people stopped and watched us which made it pretty damn funny! And fun!), in the places we ate. I could not escape the song. And I think I had heard it a total of 1 time before going to Comic Con. So the fact that it now has a Star Wars parody ensures a special place in my SDCC memories :)

…and BAM – instant anger!

I can’t believe this is even a question: http://news.yahoo.com/australia-surfer-killed-shark-032637135.html

Yes, the Great White should retain its protected status if its population is dwindling (mostly due to humans.) A kid got killed. That is awful. Beyond awful for him and his family and friends. No doubt. No question.

BUT – he knew the risk of surfing in what is considered the most dangerous area due to sharks. People had even seen the shark there over the past few days. So really, whose fault is that? When I hike deep into the woods, I know that I can run into a bear. I try not to (well, that’s not entirely true) but I am fully aware it can happen. And have told my husband & friends that if by some bizarre chance I am mauled by a bear – it was not the bear’s fault and to make that clear to everyone. I went walking into his house. I was aware.

Humans can’t keep manhandling the planet and expect it to survive. Man hates the fact that there are equally (and let’s be real without guns more so) powerful predators who are on the top of the food chain. They tend to stay away from humans unless confronted. Humans tend to search them out to hunt and agitate. And love to destroy them. Humans kill for pleasure. Animals to survive. Who is more highly evolved again?

Humans really needs to knock that crap off.

Shadow is interesting. I am 99.9% convinced he is husky/wolf (versus any other dog mix.) And yet I think Angelus was still more of a true alpha dog. Angelus would walk into dog parks or on the beach and other dogs just respected him. There was none of the rushing him or trying to dominate him you see when there are a pack of dogs and a new one comes in. It was like they just knew. They would run up to him but then just stop. And sniff. And respect. He would never, ever start a fight. Not one in his life. But he did finish a few. And they were mostly when other dogs attacked Storm. As alpha, it was Angelus’ job to protect his pack. And he did. Of course, Storm started most of them because he wanted to be the underboss only to Angelus.

Shadow definitely tried to assert his dominance a bit in the house when he arrived. As a rescue I think that is normal as he is trying to figure out where his place in the pack is. As long as it is addressed immediately, it should be fine. And he has gotten much, much better in the few weeks we have had him. I still won’t have food around when both he and Storm are together but they have been doing better and you can tell he is a sweetheart. But he doesn’t try and crap with me anymore.

Around other dogs he is typically very jovial and playful and not aggressive but does do the humping thing which is a sign of him trying to show his dominance. And has smacked down dogs who try and steal his ball. That’s normal dog behavior though. But he has actually allowed a couple of other dogs to try & hump him. Crikey – Angelus would not have had ANY of that business. Ever. But I think that’s because other dogs just knew not to try it. I don’t recall a time when a dog did try it with him. Well, Storm tried it when he was an older puppy, not quite teenager age. Angelus smacked him down a few times and we had to pull them apart a couple times. And then Storm realized it just wasn’t going to happen and never tried again (with Angelus that is.)

Interestingly, you see these same behaviors in people. The male species much more but not always limited to boys. How many times is the term Alpha Male thrown around? In reality, most of the boys it is attached to are more beta than alpha. Constantly trying to jockey for position and show who is more alpha. A true alpha is known. He does not have to show he is alpha. At times he could be challenged and will deal with it, but doesn’t need to walk around trying to show the others how he is the boss all the time. He just is. It’s confidence and respect.

Go hang out with a group of investment bankers, lawyers, CEOs or athletes. Rather entertaining really. But no, they are not all alpha males. Maybe they want to be. But there is only 1 alpha (male/female) in each pack. And watching all of the betas try and impress the alpha or challenge the alpha can be interesting. Of course you also have the omega. Poor Omega.

Take a football team, you have a group of over-testosteroned guys who all view themselves as top dog material trying to outdo each other. But really – the coach, or in a few cases, the QB (looking at you Peyton), are the true alpha. No one gives him any guff or challenges him. Period. And they generally suck up a little in the hopes they will be the pack beta who gets to take over at some point when the alpha is not around. When the alpha wolf is not around, a beta can take over temporarily. When the alpha in injured or dies, a beta will step up and take over. With people, you will see this jockeying a LOT. How many VPs suck up to the CEO on a regular basis?

Michael Corleone is a good example. Vito was alpha. Michael took over as alpha even while Vito was around because at some point, the alpha will step back. And then you had all of the buffers in the pack who want to be next to him and hope to take over as well as the alphas of other packs (although wolf packs generally leave each other alone – they are much more civilized than humans.) Humans tend to have a 2nd in command in place like the true Beta wolf. Like Spock or Number 1 on Star Trek :) With humans he is more of a patient, alpha type as well who can and will step in at the right time and not just a pack member who wants to impress or simply be part of the pack or *think* he can fill the alpha role. Human packs tend to have a lot of those. That kind of behavior gets smacked down pretty quick in wolf packs.

Being an alpha male doesn’t mean you walk around bellowing and being obnoxious and showing off. It means you have the most freedom to go and do what you want. And the pack naturally follows you. You get to mate with the alpha female. And wolves are generally monogamous. Most male humans who think they are alpha male seem to think it also gives them the right to mate with all the females they can find. Tacky.

When I lost Angelus, and someone asked if I would get another dog and what kind, I thought about that for a second. I knew I would want another dog in my life but didn’t know when. But what I did know was that I wanted another one like him. No other dog will ever truly be the same as he was very special. But I knew I couldn’t have a submissive dog. At the beach you see the dogs that just run up to everyone, love everyone and roll and submit to every dog. They are always sweet doggies but they weren’t challenging. At all.

Angelus and Storm have always been my dogs. They love me and I never doubted that. I was alpha to them. And when people came up to pet them or stop them and see them, they could not have cared less about them. They cared about their pack – people and dogs who they came to know well. But that’s it. Everyone else was there to give them a treat or move on. Stormy was more friendly and effusive to strangers as a puppy but then I think he took an Angelus’ (or maybe my?) traits. I’m not sure what that says about me, but the idea of slobbery, goofy, run up to everyone to love them and roll over kinda dog was not going to happen. Ever. I actually got sad thinking about that possibility.

I know some people prefer that type of dog (or significant other) because they don’t want to be challenged. Just want the submissive. They say people choose dogs that look similar to them. I have actually seen that in real life. Weird actually! Well, I don’t have pointy ears so don’t think I look anything like a husky! But maybe it’s more you go for dogs that match you (not necessarily in looks.)

Huskies are considered challenging and not meant for first time dog owners. They are highly intelligent but get easily bored and need to stay stimulated. They are great problems solvers (i.e. will break into the fridge and out of the yard.) They are very independent but are loving with their pack. They are friendly but are not overly effusive dogs with just anyone (see Golden Retrievers or Labs.) I think our personalities match pretty well. For better or worse :)

Yesterday we had a 4th of July BBQ to go to. I suggested we only go for a couple hours at most since Shadow is still new and he definitely seems to have serious separation anxiety. Husband said we’ll go and he will swing back in a couple hours to give both Storm and Shadow dinner, take them out and then head back to the BBQ for fireworks. OK…To be safe, I closed my closet door, hid my husky stuffed animal I keep on the bed (he stole it once before but didn’t damage it) and made sure all of the screen doors were secure (he knows how to open doors with his nose if ANY opening) and moved anything remotely edible from the kitchen counter.

Well, husband went back after about 2 hours. I got a text message that said “You don’t even want to know.” Oh boy.

Apparently Shadow grabbed my PJ shorts off the bed and shredded those. I liked those :( And took one of the bed pillows into the living room but only drooled all over it so it just needs a cleaning. Then by jumping on the door to the garage, opened the door and shredded the recycling. But the door closes on its own so it closed him in the garage where he was stuck without water until husband got there. He said he opened the garage door from the car and Shadow came running out and all stressed out looking He knew it would be bad from there.

He cleaned up a bit and fed both buddies (Storm was out on the deck perfectly quiet and content.) Then he brought Shadow back to the BBQ and just kept him on leash by him. When the fireworks started he did get stressed but husband walked him around and calmed him down and he was OK. Angelus HATED fireworks. And Storm could care less. Shadow seems in between on the stress scale about them. He zonked out in the car on the drive home and went inside and went right to sleep. The stress from the day clearly knocked him out. Poor guy.

It is clear he was hit when he did anything bad by his former parent(s). He gets very stressed and scared looking. I hate people. He was also probably left alone lot. We need to work on both of these things. He needs to feel safe. I knew leaving him that long would be bad. I raised 2 awesome dogs (perfect IMO but I might be a little teeny bit biased) who were never afraid of me or of being punished/hurt/yelled at. But a rescue has been quite different than raising a puppy. Unlike Angelus and Storm, Shadow is more husband’s dog than mine so we’ll see how that goes. I’d be doing a few things differently but Shadow loves him more so he gets the responsibility too!

Just received his DNA test back. They say 100% husky. SO NOT TRUE. Yes he clearly has husky in him – I’d even buy a full 50%. But he is not 100% husky. No way. He’s too big (Angelus was big for a husky and this guy is about 12-15 lbs bigger, longer and taller.) If I had to guess I’d say German Shepherd or wolf based on his coloring, lankiness, length, love of swimming, and his one-person attachment. But oh well – he’ll just be a husky mix. ALTHOUGH husband just pointed out that the company does not identify wolf, coyote or dingo. SO…maybe husky is the only “dog” identified and he is part wolf which I called after his first 2 days with us.

The only real damage from his time alone was some minor door scratches which can be fixed and my poor, cute PJ shorts :( They had little squirrels on them so I think he really just likes to eat squirrels!

Mix:

1/2 stick of unsalted softened butter
1 cup chopped fresh parsley
2 chopped garlic cloves
Juice from 1 full lemon
1 lb peeled/deveined large shrimp
shredded parmesan
red pepper flakes
sea salt
pepper

Fold in heavy duty foil making a “packet” and grill (pre-heated) over high heat for 8-9 minutes.

Delicious.

In the winter, I’d toss with some pasta. But today I served with a little bit of bread to just soak up the yummy juices. Seriously easy and seriously yum. Tihs recipe served 2 so easy to add more for larger parties. Although I’d probably make an additional foil packet vs making this one larger.

As a kid, I loved everything British. Total Anglophile. I wished I was born English.

I only studied European history and thought American history was boring and lame.

Then when I was 22, I went to Europe. Plenty of cool, old things to see. To VISIT. But when I got back I was so happy to be American and to live in America. I started appreciating the things I took for granted. And I have never, ever, ever again wished I was born anywhere else but America. Ever.

Sadly, our government is trying its best to turn this country into a depressed, Socialized mess like so many other places. It’s not just the healthcare decision from today, although that is a huge one. Taxes and taxes and taxes and punish the successful to pay for the unsuccessful. More and more and more government workers to run the ever increasing government programs and committees and studies and more and more regulations. Heck – pretty soon you won’t be able to buy a large soda, or possibly even fatty food because the government must tell you how to eat because you fatty are obviously too stupid to know any better.

The government is not supposed to run your life. But that’s what it is doing. This is a very sad thing. Some people will celebrate today’s decision. Including the President. Although I would argue, since the law is a fairly unpopular one, it could backfire on him during election time. But who knows. If the average person who supports this actually read all of the people who get exempted from this law, maybe then they would realize they are getting stuck with it, and not blessed by it.

But the people that celebrate this also want to the government to support them, and tell them what to do. And manage their lives so they can go and get their Prozac cheaply, watch reality TV and wander through life with no real personal responsibility. That’s what we are taught right? You aren’t responsible for a lot of crimes because you were beaten as a kid, abused, yelled at, not allowed to play soccer because you sucked. Or maybe you have 1 of one trillion disorders recognized by the AMA or APA so you can commit heinous crimes but be told you aren’t really responsible – here take these pills. You can get government OK to get out of your underwater mortgage that you took out knowing full well you couldn’t pay it off. Because that was all the evil bank’s fault. I could go on and on but won’t.

That’s not the America I love. And that’s very sad.

Doing some backlogged filing today since I’ve been in Tahoe so much lately. Had to make a new file for Shadow’s adoption. Then had to make room in my office filing drawer. Only thing I was able to move was Angelus’ file. Which made me sad all over again. Probably triggered today due to combination of neighbor stopping by today as I was loading Storm in the car to go to the beach and asking where Angelus and then receiving a letter from his insurance company officially cancelling his policy and alerting to me to a credit coming back to me. Yay. I’d give all my money to get him back healthy.

It was 3 months yesterday. I woke up out of sorts and it stuck with me all day. Still very sad. Every day still. But at least I don’t bust out in tears every day anymore. That’s got to be annoying for others.

Storm and I are trying to soldier through. I do think Storm is doing better. He seems like he is used to his new routine, if not his new adopted brother (at. all.)

But this year’s birthday season won’t be quite as festive for me. One of my closest friends won’t be there to celebrate with me.

We adopted a new doggie last Wednesday. I wasn’t really sure I was ready, and concerned how it would effect Storm, but husband was missing Angelus a lot and didn’t even have the company of Storm as he is strictly a Momma’s dog and could care less about anyone else.

The doggie we adopted is a very sweet Malamute/Siberian Husky (seemingly) mix. But I know he has something else in him. It’s either German Shepherd or wolf/wolf hybrid. But he was rescued out of the shelter as a puppy originally so it’s all a guess. I ordered a doggie DNA test but they don’t test for wolf or coyote. We’ll see.

On his first night here, he and Storm got into a tussle over what seemed to be cookie crumbs. Storm sniffed them and Shadow (his new name) growled, Storm growled and BAM they were going at it. Husband and I each grabbed a dog and I pulled Shadow’s mouth off Storm’s face. But he didn’t bite down as Storm had no injury, just some spit bu he was just very upset. Stormy wears his heart on his sleeve and has always gotten his feelings hurt when other dogs attack him. But he’s always had Angelus around to back him up and take care of things quickly.

I was very upset. I do not want Storm’s life upset. We have a set routine and it works very well for him. The loss of Angelus was very tough on him and that followed a long medical issue. But he’s doing so well now and I was unsure if a new dog would upset him or make him happy since he has had Angelus around him all of his life. So we took Storm with us to meet the potential adoptees. He got along (meaning he basically ignored or sniffed a little) pretty much all of them. A couple of the younger guys were going to be too much but Shadow (originally Rontu) seemed pretty relaxed with Storm and loving to people. But he seems to have a food aggression issue with other dogs (not us though.)

But since that first night, which was pretty much our fault since we treated him like Angelus and not like a new dog who doesn’t know us or his new house, he and Storm have kinda hung out together, gone on short walks together and gotten along. I’ve not allowed them to hang out alone together though. And he gets along great with every other dog he meets even if they (usually older ones who want no part in playing) growl at him to go away.

Yesterday afternoon we took them both out for a short walk and I brought Storm in first. He went into the laundry room, where a water bowl is, to get some water. I followed behind him to grab a light bulb. Apparently husband let Shadow in off-leash (we’ve been keeping him on leash inside as per introducing a new dog to the house) and I’m not sure what happened as it all happened so fast but as I turned around, Shadow was attacking Storm so I pushed Storm back behind me (pushing over the elevated water bowls as well) and Shadow got my right hand. Not sure anything has hurt so much ever. I kept Storm behind me and pushed Shadow back and he got my left wrist and hand as well. By then husband had run in and grabbed Shadow and got him locked into the bedroom.

By now, I sunk down to the floor and tears just started flowing from the upset and pain. And an awesome pool of blood was forming on the floor and all over me. Husband came in to ask what happened and saw the blood and ran to get towels. I was trying to stay calm but I was upset. I took a wet towel from him but told him to check Storm who turned out to be totally fine. I got him out of the way in time. Husband got him out of the laundry room, walking right through my blood and leaving little bloody paw prints CSI style, and to the deck so he could check him again and keep him out there. Storm actually seemed totally normal so I am glad I did act quickly.

By now I was getting cold and shivering which is apparently due to shock. Yes – I was pretty shocked. I have never had a family pet hurt me before. I’ve been bit my dogs at the dog park or beach a couple times as I pulled them off my dog but they have never drawn blood. And I’d rather take the bite then allow Storm to get bit (Angelus would never get bit as he would kick the ass of any dog who started anything.)

After holding a cold towel on it for awhile to stop the bleeding husband cleaned the punctures as well as I’d let him (fracking hurt.) He kept trying to get me to go to the ER but all they would do is clean it, bandage it and charge me hundreds of dollars after insurance after sitting in the waiting room in pain and bleeding for 2 hours. I would have probably gotten some good pain meds but whatever. I hate doctors and especially ERs. Meh.

Put some anti-bacterial spray on the wounds and bandaged them. Because it’s my hands, and one of them is on the inside, we put a bunch of cotton in the palm of my right hand and taped it. This kept it more straight as the fold of my hand kept opening the wound and causing more bleeding. Storm came in and hung out by my feet which is unusual for him. He really is a sweet little guy.

I was definitely in shock as I felt nauseous and was like ice. So I sat on the couch the rest of the night under a blanket with my bandaged hands elevated on pillows. I’m sure it looked amusing. The bleeding eventually stopped but not the pain. I could not use my hands at all without hurting a LOT. I had some Vicodin leftover from my pinched nerve last year so put 2 on my nightstand in case the pain was that bad during the night (didn’t take though.) Went to bed and slept about 4 hours. The rest of the night I was awake and in pain.

Finally got out of bed at 5:30am to take Storm out really quick. I was pretty woozy and in pain so took 4 Advil. Figured that’d help with any swelling too. Fed Storm, very slowly, and have been on the couch ever since. I can’t really use my hands although my 2 forefingers work without pain so I can type slowly. And made some trades :)

I’m not sure what we are going to do now. I know Shadow was not attacking me and I essentially put my hands near/in his mouth. But that’s still not acceptable. He can’t be ready to attack Storm at any second. We will research food aggression and see what we can do. But I can honestly say I will never, ever leave Storm along with Shadow ever. Not ever. And that sucks.

We think it might be because the food container is in the laundry room so maybe Shadow felt he was protecting his food. But that’s not acceptable. At all. Storm was simply drinking water out of the bowls he has always used for water. And since it happened so fast, and my back was to them as I was reaching into a cabinet, I don;t know who growled at who first. But I don’t care. Giving a little growl is saying hey back off. That’s dog speak. Does not justify a full blown attack.

Obviously with rescues you don’t know what their history is, what happened to them. But the foster mom had other dogs in the house, so why is he so aggressive towards to Storm?

I think what makes me the saddest, even more sad than the pain and getting bit by a family pet and sitting here not able to do anything, is that it made me miss Angelus even more. And truly realize what an incredible personality he had. He would never bite me. Never growled at me. I never even worried about ever being bit by him no matter what I did. When he was a puppy we would take away his food and then give it back, same with treats and toys, so that he got used to us and never felt threatened. And he would give Storm a little lip if he came over when Angelus was eating but never, ever snapped at or tried to bite him. No matter what Storm did. He truly was a remarkable friend. To both me and Storm.