a99kitten's Musings

I feel the same way buddy…hate to leave the fresh snow…

We got a foot of fresh overnight/early AM. And it was still snowing when we left. Hopefully we get tons more for Christmas!

So Stormy’s biopsy finally came back from the University of Colorado. Davis already said the tumors were benign but since they were not acting benign, our doctor had them sent to “THE” doggie liver doctor at the University of Colorado. She came back and said it was a well differentiated carcinoma. That’s cancer. But it’s the “better” kind (ridiculous that cancer can have a better kind but ok I’ll take it.) What that means is the edges of the tumor are well defined and it can be removed – which they were. Not only were they removed but 2 of his liver nodes were removed.

I spent over 1.5 hours with the oncologist who did a good job of explaining a lot about Storm’s liver and this type of cancer. I’d prefer to never have to know anything about it, but that’s not the situation. Turns out Storm has actually had more than half of his liver removed over the past 2 surgeries. The doctor (and his surgeon) said his ability to bounce back and his demeanor are amazing and that he is an amazing little guy (he says “HEY! I’m not little!”)

Apparently, in people and animals, you need 10million cancer cells to show up as a tiny tumor. You or I or Storm can have 9million cancer cells somewhere in our body and there is no test in the world that would indicate that we had cancer. So currently, all tests show Storm is clear. The tumors are removed and his ultrasounds and bloodtests are all good. After his first tumor removal, he was all clear and we thought smooth sailing as it was benign. But then 5 weeks later he had 2 more tumors with a high fever and was super sick. So I will be getting him ultrasounds a lot. He’s had 2 since his surgery 3.5 weeks ago. But helps me sleep.

We discussed the different treatments for cancer. Standard chemo was ruled out as the doctor felt it was not beneficial for Storm and the side effects were potentially worse for Storm. There is a new medication that was approved 1.5 years ago specifically for dogs with cancer. The first one actually. All other meds are actually human drugs that are used off-label for dogs. But again, the side effects are stronger. We have to keep Storm’s Cushings in mind with any other treatment.

We decided on what is called metranomic therapy. This is basically using a couple different medications at a very low dosage daily (versus a chemo therapy where you blast the body with the chemicals for a set amount of time.) Basically, cancer cells gather together to create small tumors. As they do this, they use the blood supply from the organ they are on to survive and grow. Then when they get big enough, they need to start growing their blood supply to continue to grow. What this therapy is supposed to do is to kill the cells ability to grow their own blood supply. So in effect it is almost preventative to keep the tumor from ever growing its own blood supply so it can never get big versus trying to attack the tumor once it’s there. It’s obviously not quite that simple because if it was, we’d have a cure for cancer. But it’s hopeful anyway.

The oncologist said she has had some really great results with this therapy. She was quite honest and wanted to stay hopeful but obviously could not promise anything as Storm’s body reacted in a way that they had literally never seen before. And she said that she was very disappointed that the lab in Davis called it benign. And they were still standing by that she said. But she said with 2 top pathologists giving her differing results, she and I had to look at the whole picture – the dog, his symptoms and how his body was reacting – and not just tissue samples. So she felt the diagnosis of cancer was one that we should work with. But she also said that the U of Colorado doctor thought it was a very “good” thing how the tumor was so well defined. So it was treatable in her opinion as well.

In my various visits to this doctor/vet, I have run across dogs in the waiting room who have been receiving chemo treatments for 2 years and are still doing well. So there are reasons for me to be hopeful besides just me wanting to will Storm to be OK.

Storm started his first medication on Friday. It is part of the NSAID family so it’s actually beneficial for his soreness, recovery, etc from his surgery. And ever since he finished his antibiotics on Monday, he has been doing better and better every day. He’s wanted to go on longer walks, he has initiated playing with Angelus again, wanted to go see our neighbor dog and hang out in the snow and just generally looks brighter. I think the 2 rounds of antibiotics were just knocking him out. So these are all great things. He stays on this medication for 10 days, and then assuming all is fine, we add his 2nd medication to the routine. Then he just stays on those. We will do blood tests and ultrasounds regularly to make sure he is staying fine.

I know Storm won’t be with me forever. And I do not want him unhappy or sick or in pain. My husband was/is worried that I would do anything to keep Storm alive, even if his quality of life is not good. I feel over the past few years of my life I have shown that I can make the hard decisions when I do have to. I’ve signed DNRs, I’ve taken the DNR phone call, I’ve let my brother go. But I do feel that Storm has a lot of life and fight in him and no – I do not give up easily. And frankly, he’s doing pretty darn good right now so I think I’ve made the right decisions. He said that the people he recently talked to about it said that we probably shouldn’t have done that 2nd surgery. Well – those people can kiss my ass. I didn’t ask who said that because I don’t want to know as I would probably just not want to talk to them anymore, although I do have my guesses as to who it is. F them. It’s real easy to say things like that when you have no emotional investment or attachment. Or an empathy chip in your body. Or a soul.

So I view every day I have with him is a gift. And there is no reason in the world for me to give up on him. Since I got the diagnosis from the doctor on Monday, it was still November. Monday night was terribly sad for me. November 2010 has been the worst month of my entire life. Hands down. That month ended Tuesday. I met with the oncologist on Tuesday afternoon and Storm started his treatment on Friday – December. So I am putting November behind us. And we are going to finish 2010 on a better note and stay positive into 2011. Storm’s ah-rooooos and dinner dances show me this is the right mindset. Storm deserves a positive and happy Mom as this helps him too. So I am not going to be sad. I am going to be happy that I have the resources to help him and enjoy every single day with him. And can’t forget Angelus! And if I add a few more treats into their days – oh well :)

Whether you believe the conspiracy theory or not (not entirely impossible if you ask me…) – this should make you chuckle out loud. And you can learn a thing or two :)

The Hunt Brothers failed at this years ago but this is a different game and field. Plus I LOVE a good conspiracy theory!

These 2 scenes have to be my favorite dancing moments on TV. David Boreanz as Angel (or Angelus…yes, where I got the name) dancing is AWESOME. The little clappy thing he does = priceless. I remember when I first saw this episode and how much I laughed.

and of course…Ross and Monica doing “The Routine”…classic…

I can watch these over and over again :)

If you didn’t watch the CBS Football pre-game show today, you should watch this. It’s a touching piece about Cincinnati Bengals’ player Chris Henry and the fact that his family donated his organs after his accident.

My brother died 2 weeks ago. And while I am still sad and miss him tons, especially today, he was a donor. He not only changed people’s (and their families) lives with his kidneys, lungs, pancreas and more, his heart was a match for a 16-year old boy who would have died within 2 days without a new heart. The donor nurse said he was a hero. And I will always remember him this way.

It was weird not talking to him today. Not checking my phone constantly for his call. So be thankful for your family and friends. And for your fluffy critters who make your life better. And for your health.

Be a donor. Truly is a waste to not be.

And watch this clip. It’s short and it’s worth watching. And it’s important.

Started an account on YouTube so now the world can see how awesome they are :) (actually did it because if I used my iPhone 4 to record the video, and then used the iPhone Facebook App to upload it to Facebook, you could NOT use your iPhone 4 to view it. Excellent.)

But more husky awareness is always good :)

So the Oakland Raiders player who smacked Ben Roethlisberger so hard in the head on Sunday, that Big Ben went down to the ground (and he’s a big guy), after Ben tried to break up a verbal fight between players, after the play was done got fined $25,000 by the NFL but no other penalty.

In 2003, Saints receiver Joe Horn spiked the ball after scoring a touchdown against the Giants. He then pulled a hidden cell phone out of its the padding of the upright and used it to call his children. He was fined $30,000 by the NFL.

After a score in a Monday Night Football contest against the Seattle Seahawks, Terrell Owens pulled a Sharpie out of his sock and signed the game ball which he then gave to his financial adviser, who was sitting in a seat close to the end zone. Owens was fined $20,000 by the NFL for defacing the ball.

Wes Welker was fined $10,000 for making a snow angel after scoring a touchdown during a week 16 game against the Cardinals in 2008.

Get your head out of your ass NFL. Fine egregious actions such as hitting people, on purpose, for no good reason. But end zone celebrations? Or actions that occur as a result of football moves? You guys are systematically removing any fun or ability to play while making sure to not apply rules and stiffer penalties when you should.

There have been so many fines for end zone celebrations (which hurt who exactly?) and for things that occur as a result of them actually playing football – “Hi – I’m flying through the air as I am going to tackle someone and we both move in a split second causing me to land on him and one or both of us get hurt but it’s clearly not intentional.”

But the NFL was catching a lot of gruff from the media about concussions and players getting hurt so they had to step up those fines to appear as they were reacting. But instead it’s just a large amount of over-reacting in ways that don’t even seem reasonable. But then someone goes off and does something violent on purpose?

This quote bothered me more than anything:
“All the offensive linemen, as well as some of us, were getting chippy because they were chipping after the whistle,” Oakland linebacker Quentin Groves (notes) said. “As Ben goes and tries and break the fight up, Richard reacts. That’s just a reaction that a fighter has, and that’s what he is, a fighter. To react like that is just a basic combination.”

http://sports.yahoo.com/nfl/news?slug=ap-raiders-seymourfined

No – this is a human with a brain and the ability to know the difference between right and wrong. You should be able to recognize that you don’t just go off and hit people and blame it on a “fighter’s reaction.” I saw the play. And then all of the replays of it. The guy just went off and hit someone for no reason. And I’m not even a fan of Ben R but this was so ridiculous.

Although if I’m going to be honest, had this been Michael Vick who was hit, I would have applauded the Oakland player.