a99kitten's Musings

If you didn’t watch the CBS Football pre-game show today, you should watch this. It’s a touching piece about Cincinnati Bengals’ player Chris Henry and the fact that his family donated his organs after his accident.

My brother died 2 weeks ago. And while I am still sad and miss him tons, especially today, he was a donor. He not only changed people’s (and their families) lives with his kidneys, lungs, pancreas and more, his heart was a match for a 16-year old boy who would have died within 2 days without a new heart. The donor nurse said he was a hero. And I will always remember him this way.

It was weird not talking to him today. Not checking my phone constantly for his call. So be thankful for your family and friends. And for your fluffy critters who make your life better. And for your health.

Be a donor. Truly is a waste to not be.

And watch this clip. It’s short and it’s worth watching. And it’s important.

Symptoms:
There can be five stages of grief. These reactions might not occur in a specific order, and can (at times) occur together. Not everyone experiences all of these emotions:
* Denial, disbelief, numbness
* Anger, blaming others
* Bargaining (for instance “If I am cured of this cancer, I will never smoke again.”)
* Depressed mood, sadness, and crying
* Acceptance, coming to terms
People who are grieving may have crying spells, some trouble sleeping, and lack of productivity at work. Also over-eating, not sleeping well, dizziness, headaches.

Outlook (Prognosis):
It may take a year or longer to overcome strong feelings of grief, and to accept the loss.

The above was from an article about dealing with anxiety and grief. Now, I don’t believe in anxiety. Or more accurately – I do not believe anxiety cannot be dealt with by natural remedies such as proper exercise, eating, sleep, vitamins and friends. And of course time. B12 is good for it. So that’s good since I already take B12. I know I should get back on my exercise routine but right now taking the dogs out for their mornings walks is all I can do. The idea of getting up at 5am to do my stepper has just not been possible. But I think I need to get back to it. I’ve been craving comfort food and actually allowing myself to eat it sometimes. This should really stop asap but then I get really hungry and so I eat. The idea of salads or only protein sounds entirely unpleasant. Sleep? Well….some nights I do and some it’s harder. I find I cannot fall asleep until after 12am now. And I wake up at 3am and then again or 4 or 5am. But there have been a few nights where I slept till 6:30am.

I’ve been having chest pressure (not pain so much as a crushing sensation if that makes sense) and getting highly stressed over the dumbest little things. I have always handled stress pretty well. So this bothers me. It’s been hard to concentrate at work. I feel like I have to double check everything just to make sure I didn’t make a mistake (which I do not do.) I am wondering if I’m forgetting things. I don’t want to make any decisions (like goofy ones like go to Tahoe or not, invite people for Thanksgiving or not.) I get very stressed and just want to watch TV or read. Just curl up and do nothing. So. Not. Me. This also really goes against my general “suck it up and deal with it” attitude. All the stuff I’ve been reading say to talk it out, let out the emotions. So I’ve let them out here a bit tonight I guess.

I have a bunch of pics of my brother and I up on my dresser which made me sad today as today was the first day I confronted looking at them. But I can’t move them or put them away. It’s only been 2 weeks. Only 1 since I got back from Florida so I guess I should expect this. But who really expects this?

Ok. Enough whining. I need to go hug a husky.

One week ago today, I held my little brother’s hand for the last time. Saw him for the last time. Technically that is when he died. In reality, he died on Sunday morning, November 7th. But his death certificate says November 9th. He was kept on life support after 2 heart attacks. His EEG showed no brain activity. And many other tests they ran and re-ran for us showed no life, as I would define life anyway. He was 27.

There are a ton of things I could say about him. About how much I loved him. He was my “little dude”. We were many years apart. But even when he grew to a foot taller than me, I called him that (when he’d ask why the heck I still did that, I’d always answer because you always will be.) I spoiled him whenever I could and told him he was a dumbass when he needed it. I took care of him and raised him for a year when he was 10 between my mom getting sick with Alzheimer’s and my Dad changing his life to take care of her/him. I should have kept him. I will always think that. He and I were very close. No matter how well he was doing or what trouble he got into, I loved him the same. He was my brother.

But I can’t think, let alone type, any of that right now. Makes me cry too much. But I do think letting things out is healthy and bottling up emotions are bad. And maybe writing about it will make me cry a little less. I’ve been barely keeping it together since Sunday when I got the call from Florida that he was in the ER. And that’s very unlike me. I couldn’t even make my flights as I stared at the computer unable to comprehend what I was doing. Or when I saw him lying there, hooked up to a bunch of machines that were keeping him alive. Or when I had to sign all of the paperwork for his organ donor procedures. Or as I held his hand up until they told me it was time for him to go. That is a crushing sadness that I had never experienced. And never want to again. Then as a next of kin you need to suck it up and get to make all the decisions and take care of all the details, go to the nursing home and tell your sick father that his son died, and deal with his fiancee and friends, and the funeral home. And his stuff. When all you want to do is curl up in bed and cry.

Luckily, I had friends there for me. Even though I suck at ever, ever asking for help from anyone – I needed it. Good friends made my travel arrangements when I couldn’t confront it, flew out with me, stayed with me, came to visit me and sat there with me as I said goodbye. They drove me around, helped make arrangements with me, called and brought other friends together for me, told me funny stories to get my mind out of sadness even if for an hour or 2, and sometimes just sat there quietly with me as I cried. I will never forget that. And appreciate it more than they could ever know.

I asked my husband to stay behind to take care of Storm. He just had surgery and wasn’t doing all that well and the last thing I could handle was anything happening to him too. So he stayed behind and took care of the huskies and sent me pictures of them all the time. His Mom flew out to be with me too and she was awesome. You will never meet a more perfect mom. I hope she fully realizes how much she helped.

His fiancee and friends told me he always talked about me. About how much he loved me and how close we were. That I was his best friend and kinda like his Mom. While it did make me happy to hear, it made me cry. Still does. It’s not fair. And while I have always known life isn’t fair – this is beyond F’ed up. His fiancee gave me his Star Wars toys. She said he would have wanted me to have them. I put them in my closet. I cannot deal with them right now. Along with his papers and some pictures. I know that some day I will be able to look at it all. But not now. Right now I get up and walk the huskies which is the best part of my day. Then I go to work. When I come home I do chores to stay busy and then stare at the TV as I try to go to sleep. I find it hard to go to sleep now. I have to concentrate on counting sheep so that my mind doesn’t start going with other stuff. It actually works if you are tired enough. I know it will get better. But it’s just not right now. I used to think I could handle anything in the world as long as nothing happened to my little brother. Just not fair.

He chose to be a donor. I remember when we talked about it. Him asking me my opinion on it. Him laughing when I said yes I am a donor but man – they better try hard. One thing to know – even if you choose to be a donor, if you are not dead and they get you hooked up to life support, your family can still make/change that decision for you. So make sure they are on board with your decision. And can deal with the paperwork. It’s not really all that easy. Not at all. Analytically I knew he was gone. But seeing him there looking like he was sleeping, holding his hand, remembering our conversation not 2 days prior about his upcoming wedding and the Star Wars figures he was collecting made me want him back and to save him no matter what. Having to kiss his forehead goodbye and know it was the last time I would ever see him. But I knew he wasn’t there to save.

Thursday morning, the nurse called me to tell me that in addition to his various parts going to people in need, he was truly a hero and they wanted me to know it and be proud. A 16 year old boy who hadn’t found a match and would have died in a day or 2 without a new heart, was a match for my brother. So he saved a 16 year old boy. Allowed him to go on and live a full life. Hopefully one full of promise and good. I always said he had a good heart. He would really like that.

“[Obi-Wan’s spirit approaches Luke]
Luke: Why didn’t you tell me? You told me Vader betrayed and murdered my father.

Obi-Wan: Your father… was seduced by the Dark Side of the Force. He ceased to be Anakin Skywalker and *became* Darth Vader. When that happened, the good man who was your father was destroyed. So what I told you was true… from a certain point of view.

Luke: A certain point of view?

Obi-Wan: Luke, you’re going to find that many of the truths we cling to depend greatly on our own point of view….”

Excellent life lesson. Never forget it.

This morning on our way home from the beach, the huskies and I were waiting to cross Highway 1. It stresses me out when it’s busy and I always make sure to keep the huskies on tight, short leashes while we are near the road, especially after hearing a story of someone who didn’t :(

We went to the harbor beach today, and not Surfer’s Beach.  We have a standard place to cross Highway 1 for each beach.  As we stood there waiting for traffic to stop/clear I heard a loud CRACKBOOM! I saw a car swerve out of the oncoming northbound lane and go sideways and then saw 2 other cars in the southbound lane swerve and heard BOOM, CRASH! Very, very loud. One of the cars actually jumped up on the sidewalk/trail and was basically now sitting exactly where I would have been with the huskies had we been coming back from Surfer’s beach. Creepy. Didn’t like thinking about that.

Anyway, there was a giant truck behind the 2 cars in the southbound lane and he just drove right around the wreck and kept going. As did ALL of the cars in both lanes. Now, this was not a little fender-bender. There was car carnage all over the road that you could hear being crunched as cars drove around the accident. Like, actual fenders and pieces of cars, not tiny bits of of headlights or something.

2 of the 3 cars were sideways on the 2-lane highway. And not 1 car stopped to see if everyone was alright.  I saw 2 bicyclists stop and talk to the passenger of one of the cars.   The fire station is right across the street so I ran there and told them and they zoomed over they very quickly (they also were pretty cute and liked the huskies! Bonus!)

I remember several years ago I was driving on Highway 1 through Pacifica during a heavy rainstorm and I saw a small truck skid off and overturn. I pulled over and the lady was crawling out of her truck (which was upside down) and she seemed physically OK but obviously very shaken up. I then realized that no one else stopped. A truck just flipped over and not one other car stopped to see if the person was OK. As she was using my cell to call her husband another car pulled over and the guy said he called 911 and he stayed with us as well. But just 2 people out of countless cars during AM commute stopped to see if another person in obvious need was alright.

What the hell people? I am not the most compassionate person in the world. If you aren’t fluffy, you are pretty much on your own.  But jeez…in situations where someone could be really hurt, of course I stop or do what I can to help.  As I hope someone would stop for me. But I am actually pretty disabused of this idea and don’t look for help from others. I mean you might be late to your stripper pole exercise class, or your meeting at Starbucks with the other dorks.

I swear every time I might start forgetting how horrid most people really are, I get reminded of it.

…because I love gold AND only in the will-never-be-repeated-ultra-cool early-to-mid 60s could you get away with a movie character named Pussy Galore that’s NOT in a porn movie…

Gold spot closed at $1269.20 today. December’s contracts closed even higher ($1271.70). That puts it well over it’s previous high. Silver closed over $20. Gold closing above it’s previous resistance is a big deal if you are chart/technical trader. I am not. I used to love to trade commodities but it will give you gray hair and an ulcer. This is what makes it both fun and unhealthy long term :)

I have been buying gold and silver as an investment for years now. I don’t buy the ETFs, I buy the physical coins. I do buy mining stocks too but for the metals – I want something I can hold. I’m not a crazed goldbug (although I love a good government conspiracy theory!) but I’m a firm believer in wanting the physical metal in my possession (well..at least in my safe deposit box’s possession) and not in the form of a piece of paper. Plus then you can take it out and play in it like Scrooge McDuck

I started buying gold and silver coins a long time ago. A few a year – not like I own Fort Knox or anything (THAT would be cool!) I like the reality of it. I can hold it in my hand. And I can sell it anytime. Stocks are fun, and I am a huge believer in the capital markets, but they don’t have this exact quality. I do not buy coins for their numismatic qualities – I know less than nothing about coin collecting. I buy for the pure commodity of it. But I stick with gold and silver. No platinum (except jewelry!!), copper, palladium, etc.

For sure, gold has had a HUGE run up. Many nay-sayers believe it will come back down and point you to the run-ups of the past. “It’s topped out, will crash, blah, blah.” But this is a different world and economy that we live in than 10 years ago. Than in the 70s. China and India are fast becoming very large economies with a growing upper and middle class that has disposable income and culturally they both love owning gold.

At sushi lunch a few months back, a retired lawyer was talking to my husband and me about the economy. He scoffed at gold buyers because he said the only reason the price went up is because of the paranoia of goldbugs over the economy. When I pointed out that the fact that China also just started allowing, and even advocating, its citizens to buy and own gold, all he had to say was “oh…really?” Yeah. Not just for the Mulders or Lone Gunmen out there anymore…

But yes, I’m sure plenty of people bought into gold for economic fear reasons. It has been the safe haven hedge for a long time now. And also to ride the wave up as retail buyers tend to do after fund managers take huge positions in anything. You can tell from all the ads for gold on TV, the radio, online that it’s aimed at the little guy now. I’m also sure there was a lot of short covering today after it blew through previous resistance of $1260. But it’s simply a different market (and world) now too. More buyers equals more demand.

Might it go back down from today’s newly-minted (see what I did there?!=geek on multiple levels!) high – likely. Funds take profits. Fact of life. Might it create new highs after that? Probably. (see…I can totally be a money-honey on CNBC too – never say it WILL, only it MIGHT or COULD!) So far the overseas markets are flat – keeping spot as it’s high. Of course, in commodities this changes fast so who knows where it will be when I wake up.

Oh, but please do not liquidate your portfolio or take out a loan to buy it (actual questions I get asked as our company’s 401k administrator…) It’s still speculative. This isn’t the California gold rush people (see why I like my 49ers!) But if you want to hedge your stocks or other investments, I personally have always felt it was a good one. I’m like Yukon Cornelius – always looking :) (totally love the song Silver and Gold too!)

And what will happen if the Republicans don’t get the little known detail that was “slipped” into Obama’s HEALTHCARE (?) bill that will require brokers to file 1099s for gold and silver bullion/coins purchases over $600 scratched? Who knows? But I don’t see it slowing down any demand. Just might create a shadow market.

I don’t trade my gold like my stock account (so usually only check open and close prices but today was a hot day.) I buy it and hold it like my 401k. And someday, I might sell it. So I watch these daily ups and downs and listen to the analysts dissect it and just smile and think to myself that I am happy I started buying it before it was “the rage” with a little “well done” pat on my back. Husband used to think my “little hobby” was silly and likely a waste of money that could be invested elsewhere. Then recently a very successful investment banker friend of his told him he does the same thing. Now I’m not so silly after all. Pfft. Men…

Now if I could just build my panic/safe room, I could move it from my bank’s safety deposit box to my house and play it in…just like Scrooge McDuck… ;)

My father used to read me those Disney stories as a kid and Scrooge McDuck was always one of my favorite Disney characters – maybe we are formed from a young age :)

http://finance.yahoo.com/retirement/article/110553/jackpot-winners-just-as-likely-to-go-bust

This article is about a study done on lottery winners and how they go bankrupt too…just a bit later.

While I do believe that on occasion a lucky winner who spent $1 or $5 on lotto tickets every so often and can win and – bang! Wow! Lucky! Most people spend a lot of money, money that can probably not afford, buying tickets in search of the big payout. Am I against the lotto? No. Not at all. But it should be seen as a FUN thing. With disposable income spent on it. Like Bingo or something. Just like any form of gambling. Not your rent money, not your grocery money, not your kid’s lunch money.

The main reason, in my personal opinion, that lotto winners (or any type of big payout really – insurance settlement anyone?) still end up with nothing is that they simply don’t know how to manage money. They don’t know how to plan for the future. Oh kinda like people who took more and more equity lines out on their homes when they had no business accessing that money.

What were they thinking when they did this? Were they thinking how they were going to pay off their home anytime in the future? Or using the money to improve their home’s value? Were they doing the math on how they were going to pay it back? Quite a few took the cash and bought newer cars, bigger TVs, nice vacations and more crap. I’m all for shopping and keeping the global economy alive and well – if you can afford it. And definitely not if somehow my tax dollars is going to have to bail your irresponsible ass out some day.

I know there were plenty of unscrupulous mortgage brokers getting these loans approved but at the end of the day – you signed the papers and took their money and spent it. You are responsible for your own condition. Period. No one else is. Unless you are 5 years old. If you didn’t understand the ARMs and interest rates then you should not have signed those papers.

The study has policy implications for governments deciding how to help heavily indebted people who are struggling during economic downturns, Hoekstra says. It appears the simplest solution — giving them cash — doesn’t enhance longer-term financial stability, and only postpones, rather than avoids, bankruptcy. The lottery findings are consistent with a 2007 research paper that showed consumers initially used their 2001 federal rebate checks to reduce debt, but eventually debt returned to its pre-rebate level.

“Our research suggests that perhaps there is something more systematic about the types of people who get themselves into financial trouble — and the appropriate policy prescription for helping them out is going to be considerably more complex than giving them additional resources,” says Hoekstra.

This is fact. You cannot give people money and expect them to fix their own problems and improve their lives. And you can’t give people something for nothing. See the never-ending money pit of government entitlement programs for proof.

Giving people money for, or cutting what they owe on, their mortgage loans is not the solution. And penalizing and vilifying the banks while allowing the loan holder to skate is BS. And having more and more government control over banks and lending is a GIANT mistake. See any government body for their efficiency and ability to get anything done.

So play the lotto if you have a spare $2 in your pocket. I do when it gets up to the giant gazillion dollar pots! I love fantasizing about my 100 acres in Wyoming and shopping trips! It’s fun. But if you are going in and spending $20-$50 a week (and I’ve been there behind the people buying them) in hopes of hitting it rich…well…I sure as hell hope you don’t have a mortgage loan you are defaulting on or kids who need new shoes.

This was a line in a book I just read. Fiction, crime-drama, about a psycho serial killer who not only rapes women but murders them slowly after torturing them. You know, light beach reading. But I’m sorry – what animal isn’t better than that? The cockroach in the storm drain is better than that.

Frankly, that is an insult to animals. Animals don’t rape, torture and murder just for sport. For the sheer psycho pleasure in it. After yesterday and today’s stuff on the internet about the girl who threw the puppy in the river for fun – is there really any question? And I’m sure she is not the only one guilty of horrific acts – just the one with a friend so stupid that she/he videoed it and put it on the internet. I can only hope she is tracked down and shot between the eyes by a crazed PETA fanatic. No, I’m not kidding. And no, I don’t think that’s harsh. People like that don’t deserve to breathe air.

I wish I could unread and unknow about this. I decided a couple weeks back not to read any more news where the headlines are obviously upsetting. I already know there is a lot of evil and shit in this world. A lot of pure, evil scumbags. I don’t need to be reminded of it. It replays in my head over and over. I needed a 3 hour hike today to try and get it out of my head and re-see nature and beauty. It worked. For those 3 hours.

Rapists, pedophiles, murderers – anyone who garners pleasure from harming another deserves to just be killed. And no, not just to humans. Statistically proven that many a child abuser, wife abuser, serial killer has started by harming animals. And guess what – they can’t be fixed. They don’t actually change inside. Period. F them. They don’t deserve any help. Or sympathy. Or even oxygen.

My dogs would stand up and fight to the death to protect me. And they love me wholeheartedly no matter what. I pity the person than ever tried to hurt them. Momma bear don’t play.

People can disagree about animals being “family members”. Animals not being as important as people in this world. That’s up to you. But to get pleasure of any kind from deliberately harming animals (yes, including sport hunters and fishermen here) – you have a screw loose. It’s just a matter of how many. I could go on and rant forever about this but I won’t. I could start on about vigilante justice, but I won’t (here and now anyway.)

Maybe the best super power would be to be a Batman-type. But for animals. And even more hardcore than the grumpiest version of him. He kills bad guys. He knows that sometimes you have to. Start with poachers, abusers, the little blonde bitch in the video. How could the world NOT be a better place without this kind of scum in it? Riddle me that Batman.

But animals definitely do have a flaw, their true flaw is that they sometimes trust humans unconditionally. Huge mistake.

~ begin rant

My husband and I started a company back when he was still in business school and I worked at a hedge fund. Our “office” was our tiny little guest room in the apartment we rented in Palo Alto between my office and his school. He and another co-founder came up with the idea(s) for the business and started implementing them and I handled all the administration to set it up. Was teeny – not too big of a big deal time-wise for me. Helped with customer service a bit too but then we hired someone (thank god!)

Now, at my “day job” I was the officially the ‘Executive Assistant to the Managing General Partner’. Now, what I actually did was all the typical exec assisitant stuff for him (ever see The Devil Wears Prada? Those were typical days and requests – really rich people are odd ducks) and then I handled his personal finances (rich people have really messed-up complicated finances), managed his house staff, managed his multiple homes, travel, travel and dealing with schools for his 4 kids, communication between he and his ex-wife (that was fun), finding new nannies, Investor Relations for all of the various funds, Portfolio Accounting for all of the various funds, IT for the office, HR crap for the office, dealing with a 2nd ex-wife, and general office manager type stuff. A 10-hour day was a short day. I only outline to show I was pretty busy already but also know how to do a range of jobs…

Anyway, when it came time to get some funding, I set up a meeting between my husband (actually fiancee at the time) and my boss. He was stressed since he had no business plan put together and I told him – he doesn’t care about paperwork. He wants you to go in there and explain how you are going to build a business and make money. Very simple. It took quite a while to convince him that he would be OK. To know him now, you wouldn’t actually think he would have been insecure about that. But he when in without a “on paper” business plan and it worked and he got seed money plus my boss introduced him to other people with seed money (some of those same investors invested in another company of ours more recently) who then got him in with the biggest angel investor in Silicon Valley. And that investor then got him in with Sequoia. So while I’m sure my husband could have done all of this on his own, he didn’t. I helped.

I worked not only full-time at my job (my hours were really more like 7am – 7pm) but I then came home (and then to our temporary office space that we got as we grew and grew) and did all the admin work for our new company. Plus all the bill paying, house keeping, personal errands for us both, blah blah. Then husband asked that I start full time which meant I would quit my old job. Whoa. That was hard since I really, really liked my job, my boss, my co-workers and the entire industry. And my boss preferred I stay. But he understood. Sometimes I wonder if that was the wisest choice I ever made…but I did leave.

Our company was growing fast and our COO (who came from a big company background and not a start-up culture) thought having the CEO’s wife (we were married by now) do HR might not be so great since employees want to feel comfortable with HR. We didn’t want to foster a kindergarten/baby-sitting type of HR culture and didn’t make any changes right away besides hire someone to work in HR with me but eventually the COO got his way and hired a Director of HR from another big company. Who then filled out his department of 5 (including him.) I still had tons to do without HR (did stuff in Finance, Legal, all of the stock option admin, investor and Board relations, took over and managed facilities and office manager type stuff) so I didn’t protest. And I got to have a 9-10 hour day instead of a 14-16 hour day. Kinda nice. Plus, I didn’t want some weird perception of me. I already knew there was as I heard some rumors of employees saying I only married my husband because he was the CEO (umm…when I met him and for several years after I made more money than he did you schmucks. And we started the company together well after he met me. Jealous and insecure much?) I thought these guys are more trained in HR and should know better anyway, right? Uh-huh.

Company still grew but then 2001 came and the economy tanked and business deals tanked and then 9/11 and we did 2 big rounds of layoffs between summer and fall. Then we had to bootstrap and did a final round in which I got laid off too as my husband felt showing me preferential treatment would be bad. So he kept one of the others from HR to manage that stuff. Ok…

I started a consulting business and had several good clients and kinda liked it – my own schedule, worked from home most of the time or at the client homes. Got to run my errands during off commute hours, take the huskies to the beach all the time. Pretty chill. I wasn’t working a gazillion hours and being stressed all the time. I highly recommend it if you can do it…

Then husband said that the HR rep just didn’t show up for a couple days. I won’t go into too many details about her deal but she basically stole a small amount of money plus was having trouble at home, blah blah. So he asked if I could take on the HR work as a part-time contractor since we were pretty small once again. Sure. I added my old company job (and still part MY company stock-wise) to my consulting jobs.

Boy…the mess I found created by the old HR department. 401k annual reports not filed correctly or at all for years, COBRA paperwork not done correctly, personnel files were a mess, insurance bills not audited and being over paid or not even right at all with coverage, and on and on. WTH did these 5 highly-compensated people do in there all day??? So I fixed it. Plus took over a project to wind down a segment of our business when our Controller needed the help.

Then when our Controller blew a mental gasket and just didn’t show up one day…or 5 days later, I took over our accounts payables/receivables, corporate insurance and payroll until we found a new one. And kept the jobs of payroll, corporate insurance and paying all of the admin/HR bills since I just fixed all of our relationships with the companies.

And then we grew and husband asked if I could come back on full-time. So I did. Phased out my other consulting jobs and came back full time. And have been doing it since then. Paid less than the other HR people had been when I started back. Did get a bump up more to market a couple years ago but husband always worried about the “optics” of him giving me raises or stock option grants. I’m not complaining, I’m not working for slave wages or anything by any means, but I note that I am still paid less than that Director of HR we “needed” who apparently couldn’t manage his department. Wonder what he is doing now? I sure hope he or his team are not in charge of anyone’s HR department…

I don’t want credit or accolades. I don’t ask to be recognized or care about titles or look or ask for raises, bonuses, etc etc. I have a job to do, I do it. I get things done. And correctly. But in the same vein, what I also don’t want is to hear (still? again?) is that people think the only reason I have this job at all is because the CEO was my husband. Really awesome to see people still believe that. *awesome* Who the F are you to say or assume that?

Or to think you can do or parse out my job “easily”. You want to add my job to yours – be my f***ing guest. I’m not saying other people can’t do my job – there are plenty of good HR/Administrative/office people out there. But it’s not so easy to find them – because they probably have great jobs already.

All I have to say you jackasses is a big F.O.

~end rant

Finally sold my old car today. While I absolutely love my new car, it felt kinda weird to sign him (yes, the Jeep was a him) over. I’ve had him since December 1995. Longer than I’ve had my husband.

I bought him brand new after getting side-swiped and almost crushed in my Miata – felt that I needed a bigger, safer car for driving up to Tahoe (just learned to snowboard then.) And boy – this Jeep has kept me and the huskies very safe in our rainy, foggy, snowy, windy-road and mountainy travels :)

223k miles and pretty much perfect condition as far as the body goes. Needs new tires. And the engine has to go at some point, right? But the guy who bought it got it for his son who is going to put a low-mileage engine in him and drive as an off-road truck. So hopefully my safe Jeep karma can pass to him too :) And I’m happy to know he will be used and not just crushed. I felt a bit sad thinking about that happening (talking cars in movies can do that to you!)

Bye Jeep – thanks for taking care of me and the huskies all these years…