a99kitten's Musings

Came home from work yesterday very sore and tired. My leg was bothering me a lot. Too much moving around I guess. You don’t realize how much you get up and down and go here and there until you can’t or it’s a really big production to do it.

I pull into the garage and hobble out into the entry way. I had left the dogs home with husband since I knew I would only make it a half day and he promised to take them for a good walk. So I ask him if he took them for their walk yet (it was 3:30pm but still a reasonable question) and he says “Well, why don’t you sit down and get situated.” I’m like what the heck does that mean so I look for the dogs. But again…not so quick and nimble currently. He says “They are fine. We just had a bit of an issue but it’s all fine, everyone’s fine. Just sit down and rest.”

Ok, so this is basically verbatim what he said to me when 10 years ago when I left a teeny puppy Angelus in his care for the first time ever while I went to the Madonna concert with a friend. I took Angelus to work even then and so he had him there (we worked together) with his stuff, my detailed instructions and it would be only be for a few hours. But this was his first time flying solo in puppy care.

I’m at the concert and it is about to start and I get a call. He says “Ok, so everything is fine. Angelus is fine.” WHAT?? How do you start a conversation out like that when I can barely hear you due to the music they are piping in while people sit. “What happened?” I ask. So…husband left Angelus in his office with the door closed while he stepped out for a quick 15-20 minute meeting. He was sleeping so no big deal. He came back to find Angelus had climbed up onto his desk and broken into a Christmas basket of food and ate something – a big hunk of chocolate shaped like a computer mouse. WHAT???

He said he basically saw his life flash before his eyes right then. And then called the vet and explained what happened and that his wife was going it kill him dead if anything happened to Angelus. They told him try getting him to vomit right now since it just happened. How he asks? Hydrogen peroxide they say. OK – so he sends our VP of Marketing running to the store to buy some and then husband tries giving him spoonfuls. Well Angelus immediately spits it out all over himself and husband. Pretty sure he started wondering why Dad was trying to poison him.

Husband could not get any down Angelus’ throat (the key is a turkey baster.) So he called the vet back and they said bring him in NOW. So he left work and drove over and they pumped his stomach and they got him to throw up and monitored him and his vitals were all fine so he could go home after an hour or so. He also threw up the tin foil that was around the mouse. Puppies.

So he got Angelus home and called me. After telling me all this he says “I thought about not telling you since it’s all fine but you would have seen the charge for the vet on the AMEX and wondered what it was and asked me and then I would have told you and then you’d be mad for not telling you sooner. So I told you now. But he’s all fine, so enjoy your concert”

Now, you have to understand, I’ve only been gone a few hours (we had VIP passes so we went early). A few hours and this chaos occurs. Sigh. There are other stories of puppy chaos but this was the first one.

So yesterday when he said “everything was all fine” I was like what the heck happened? I’ve been gone like 5.5 hours. So I went and sat down and got my leg up on the sofa and was like ??? He’s says “It’s all fine.” Yeah – got that part.

So I have this piece of drywall that I’ve been using to block off our front entry deck so that I can keep the front door open and the yard gate open and the buddies can come and go in/out but not escape into the wild of our neighborhood. They really are awesomely well behaved so never try and jump over it or push it down. They respect the barrier. Now…if a cat was on the other side I’m not sure how much respect there would be but the neighborhood cats have learned to steer clear of our yard. And this way I do not have to hobble up and down the stairs to let the dogs in or out.

When I left the house Angelus was in the front yard and Storm was inside. This is quite typical. So apparently husband got up and then took a shower before he was going to take the dogs out. He gets out of the shower, gets dressed, grabs the leashes and calls for the dogs. Storm is right there but no Angelus. Then he notices the dry wall is askew. It was WINDY yesterday (windy like garbage cans were rolling down the street) so it looked the wind pushed it in a bit. He said it didn’t seem like enough room for a husky to escape but he couldn’t find Angelus.

He said once again, his life flashed before his eyes. He starts jogging around the neighborhood looking for Angelus, calling him, shaking his leash. Nothing. He is standing in our driveway, shaking the leash and Stormy is howling (he does that if you call continually for Angelus) and he said he can feel the fear welling up inside about telling me. Then he hears a whining. And a howling that is not Storm. So he goes around to the backyard and there is Angelus on the desk howling because he thought he was missing the walk! Why he didn’t just come running back to the front yard, I do not know. Why husband didn’t check the backyard first, I do not know.

So then he breathes sighs of relief. Leashes the dogs up and starts to leave. But he never moved the semi-tipped over drywall “gate”. So Angelus goes around it, Storm hops over it but in the process the leashes pull into 2 different directions. And he trips a bit as he was starting to stretch his leg over it and the dogs pull in 2 different directions and to steady himself puts his foot down…right on my makeshift gate. Breaking it. He also said that the first thing in his head as he was tripping was how much crow he’d have to eat if he hurt himself since this is basically how I fell – 2 dogs, 2 different directions as we go down a muddy, rocky hill and kablamo and there goes my foot/ankle – and he’s been calling me clumsy ever since. Uh-huh.

So after he is done telling me all this I ask “So did you actually take them on a good walk?” Oh yes – fun beach times, etc etc. So did you find me a replacement for my gate I ask. No – but that dry wall wasn’t going to last long anyway, we will build a good gate with the remodel (I’ve been wanting one forever) blah blah. How does this help me now? I ask. Today and next week? With me as a gimpy? Silence. Sigh.

So he left for Tahoe last night. Yes…left his disabled wife home alone. Don’t get me started. But WITHOUT my gate?!?! Grrr. So now I need to come up with one because hobbling up and down the stairs (we have a lot of stairs in this house) to let the dogs in and out will not work. I am not supposed to move much in the first 2-4 weeks and I know I already violate that. Grumble.

This is why men are not the caretakers in society. If it were all men, well….you’d all be dead.

Last night my leg a LOT. Wow. Worst since the day I actually broke it. I think I was moving around too much between work and home. But I really didn’t move all that much. But I guess even a little bit on a break is a bad idea. When I got home from work I made a quick dinner and basically collapsed on the chair (with the big comfy ottoman which will basically be my spot for the next 4-8 weeks!)

I watched the 2-hour premiere of AMC’s The Killing. Very good. A lot of introducing the characters and the crime. It seems like it is set up like Damages was – a season to tell the story of one crime/case. The actress playing the main cop reminds me of someone and it will me drive me crazy until I figure out who! She and the other cop are a lot meaner to the people they interview than the cops on Law & Order – sheesh.

But so far, I like it and will continue to watch it. AMC has been doing a really good job with their shows. I didn’t like The Walking Dead but it was just too ridiculously gross for me. And of course Mad Men which I am soooo sad won’t be returning until 2012. Ugh. These writers and studios really need to think of their fan base with this negotiating crap. Because a lot of people will just move on. Sopranos did that (delayed a whole year) and that sucked. People have shorter and shorter attentions spans so if you have a hit on your hand, make sure you keep the audience happy and bring it back on time. Oh, and this goes for you too NFL. Grr.

I want to watch The Borgias too. But I don’t subscribe to Showtime so will wait till it’s on DVD I guess. It started this week along with Camelot. I decided against subscribing to Stars just for 1 show. Again, will wait for DVD. They get those things out on DVD so fast anyway. I did record The Kennedys. It got panned by the critics but there are enough likable actors in it, plus the subject matter is fairly well known enough – I’ll check it out. If it’s bad – delete! The funny thing is I’ve read it’s a fairly white-washed version of their story anyway. I guess Hollywood wants us to ignore Joe Sr’s illegals activities and ill-gotten gains, John’s illnesses, injuries and vast pain med use, the rampant cheating by seemingly all male members of the family and the lack of ethics by (at the very least) some members of the family. But those are the things that would make a movie or mini-series so much more interesting! Hollywood sucked up to JFK so much, I think they just can’t stop. But sure – make a movie about Frank Sinatra or mobsters and show them in a bad light – no problem. Skewer Nixon or apparently John McCain in an upcoming movie – not a problem. The Kennedys have a fascinating history – just not always a very good one. But movies should be made about interesting things. Pssh.

The Reagans would be better but I doubt Hollywood could produce anything good about a Republican President – even one of their own! I have a new book about him that I need to read. And he has far more than 1 memorable quote. Waaay more interesting than JFK (but whose family can keep you reading for hours!)

After watching The Killing I went to bed and read some. I’m reading “Wolf Hall” and it’s really good! I started it Monday while waiting endlessly at the doctor’s. But by now my leg will killing me. This boot thing is obnoxious. But better than a real cast (that’s my mantra when I get annoyed by the boot.) While I was watching TV, I loosened it up a bit to breathe. The nurse said keep it tight as much as possible ESPECIALLY while I was moving around but if I was just sitting still watching TV or reading, I could loosen it or take it off for a bit as long as my leg was kept still and elevated. So I did. And it felt marvelous. Sleeping with it is awful. But again, still has to be better than an actual cast. And I want it to heal fast so I need the dang thing on and keeping my ankle bones aligned.

But at around 3am, I woke up to a lot of ouch. I couldn’t really get it in a position where it didn’t hurt. FU ankle. And then after finally falling asleep, I woke up around 4am to Storm doing the “ack, ack” pre-vomiting. So, with this injury, there is no jumping out bed quickly. No sir. But I jumped up as fast as I could onto my other leg and hopped over to the towels to get one down under him before he could throw up. Every since he threw up those peach pits, I stress about him. He doesn’t eat like a vacuum anymore now that his Cushings is all under control but I need to monitor him if he throws up (for his medication too.) He doesn’t very often though. But the “ack, ack” noise is enough to get me up. Not husband of course. Slept through the entire thing. Pretty sure we could have an earthquake and house fire and he’d sleep through it though the both.

Tried going back to sleep but my leg was just ouch. And I was not kind of awake so thinking about a gazillion things I had to get done, and how to get them all done gimp-style. How I was going to manage when husband went out of town. And I was also ridiculously starving! I typically don’t ever wake up in the middle of the night that hungry. And I certainly will never get up and eat anything. But man – my stomach hurt I was so hungry! And felt a but nauseous too. I had water and tried to go back to sleep.

I think I finally fell asleep around 5:30am. And then it felt like coming out of a coma waking up at 6:45am to RUFF! Angelus lets out one RUFF when he wants to be heard. He feels this is enough to get my attention and get me moving :) This of course stimulates Storm into get up mode who will ah-roo until he gets the job done :) Breakfast time it is…

Got them breakfast. Made myself a little coffee and am looking at what a gorgeous morning it outside and hating that I cannot be out walking them in it. Now I know how they felt post-surgery when they weren’t allowed to go play! It blows. Plus a fresh foot of snow is supposed to fall in Tahoe Thursday and Friday. I’m not going up. No way. That will just make me too mopey-face.

Oh well…time to get ready for work. Everything takes like 10x longer to do. Trying to stay off my foot as much as possible while still trying to navigate life is a bit impossible. Plus the doctor said that I can’t keep putting all the extra pressure on my right leg since you don’t want to damage it (by hopping, stairs, etc.) which is funny because this is exactly what happened to Angelus – he tore his ACL in his left leg and the surgeon said, don’t let him move around too much while it heals post-surgery or he will damage his right leg since he will be using it more. Sure enough – less than a year later, his right ACL tore. Doh. So ok, ok, I am trying. But I am like Angelus – I need to get up! Hmm…I think I still have some if his sedatives around…. ;)

I went to the doctor today. Missed my first appointment due to getting there 20 minutes late (thanks stalled truck on 92) but they squeezed me in with another doctor. There is a lot of waiting around at the doctor. I hate doctors. And hospitals. Too many sick people. But I have to say Palo Alto Medical Foundation has excellent service.

When I pulled into the underground parking, I told the guy (well…kid) directing traffic that I need to park as close to where my appointment was as possible since I couldn’t really walk. He said hold on, moved a bunch of cones from a saved spot and had me park right there. Then he called over a guy with a wheelchair to take me where I needed to go. How nice.

Then I had to wait for my new appointment since I missed my original one. But I brought my Kindle expecting some level of waiting so no big deal. Then the doctor looked at my foot/ankle and then sent me to x-ray and said to come back there after. So they called someone to wheel me down there instead of me trying to do it.

The x-ray tech was very nice. And then they called someone to take me back to the doctor. He said the x-ray showed a fracture and that I needed to go to the sports medicine ortho. He said he called and was able to get me in this afternoon by chance (usually took days to get in he said) but not until 3pm. He asked where my driver was. I said I drove myself. He said no one came with you?? No. It’s my left foot – I can drive. He asked where my husband was. I said he had a meeting. He looked peeved that I was my own.

So he called an orderly and told him to take me to get some food and sit outside if I wanted and then to take me to ortho. Alright. I was getting a bit hungry! So I sat outside in the garden area and ate my sandwich and read. And then went to my appointment. I got way better treatment there than at home! I wanted to stay :)

Ortho said fractured fibula and showed me the xray. Said it was a clean crack and I did a good job keeping it in alignment so that it could heal on its own and did not require surgery. Go me. His first sentence was actually “you are lucky you broke it this way.” I said “yeeeeeah…pretty lucky.” He laughed and said “OK, not the best choice of words. But if I was going to break my ankle, this was the way to do it.” Again – go me!

He said as long as I stay off it and follow his instructions, it should heal in 6-8 weeks. Plus possible follow-up rehab (I won’t need that. I have spoken.) He said a cast would be perfect but it’s also hard with showering, rainy weather, etc. so he was giving me “the boot”. Good. No casts! He lectured me on keeping it on all the time except showers and bed (for bed I use a brace) and no exercise. I said so walking my dogs would be a bad idea. He said yes, walking your dogs is definitely on the no list. Damn. He said waking around anywhere for any reason is on the no list. To keep it elevated as much as possible during the first 2 weeks and stay off it. The first 2 weeks are crucial to proper healing. Then the next 2 weeks are important but I could test it for a bit more weight bearing. But NO exercise. Sigh.

He asked if I needed a pain med prescription. No. Why? He said for the pain. I said well, if I stay off it, then I shouldn’t have much pain. He said a lot of people still want it for the dull ache. I said Advil was good enough. He told me I was tough. I said no – the others are just babies ;) He laughed.

I go back in a month for another x-ray. He said he’ll be able to tell if I followed his instructions by that x-ray, so don’t let him down. Alright, alright. No exercise.

When I got back home I cleaned up the kitchen a bit and fed the huskies. They were pretty happy to see me when I got home :) Then I got sore again so am now sitting feet up like the lazy slack I will be for the next 4, 6, to 8 weeks. Sigh.

Frack.

So yesterday AM I took the buds to the beach. We started out on our regular route and then decided to go to Surfers Beach instead of the harbor beach at the last second. Bad decision.

On our way down the hill to the beach something happened. It’s a small hill. A small hill that I have navigated a gazillion times. It was still muddy from all the rain we’ve had. It’s always rocky. Both buds rushed down but they did not pull me but one was going one way, the other the other way. I don’t know what happened it was so fast. I fell. I felt my ankle/foot under me and it hurt. My knee and elbow hit the ground. I got up fast as I had to make sure the dog leashes were under control. As soon as I tried to stand I wanted to scream. I immediately sat down on a rock and was like “ok…I just need to rest it for a minute.” But I kinda already knew that was not the case.

The buds were both pretty cute. They immediately came over to where I was sitting and Angelus gave me little kisses in his worried way. I was like “OK, I can just walk down the beach slowly, it’ll be fine.” Thank Dog I did not try that. I would have been stuck further down the beach and then unable to walk. I sat there for like 5 minutes. The huskies were starting to get impatient! They clearly knew something was wrong with Mom and they were both whining a little. Angelus would walk around me, then come back and give me little kisses.

I got up and tried putting weight on my foot and no go. It hurt sooo bad. So now I’m like “how the heck am I getting back up the hill and home?” I knew husband was home. He was still sleeping when I left but he was also planning on leaving for Tahoe early. I tried his cell but no answer. Sigh. OK…I can do this. I get myself up and essentially half crawl up the hill. It hurt. A lot. By the time I got back up to the trail I was ready to fall down and stay there. But now we were next to Highway 1 so I had to think about the buds and making sure I had a good hold on their leashes.

I tried walking a bit more but it just hurt so bad. I tried husband again. Still no answer. A lady walking her small dog came up and asked if I was OK. I’m sure my limping, pained face, muddy pants and jacket were a bit of a give-a-way to a bit of distress. I said I had fallen and she asked if I needed her phone to call anyone. I told her I had one but my husband wasn’t answering so she said she’d call her husband who has a truck. I said sure. Me contemplating accepting help is a big deal. Especially from a stranger! Her husband wasn’t answering either (seriously men…what is the point of having a cell phone?) I told her that I should be OK and that I was just going to try and make it to the parking lot and wait for my husband. She looked doubtful. She said OK but that she would come back here and look for me after her walk.

I looked at the traffic, wondering how fast I could hobble across safely. There was a lull in southbound traffic and only 2 cars pretty far back northbound. So I went for it. Slowly. The truck coming northbound caught up with me and stopped traffic for me. So that was nice. I slowly hobbled across and just kept thinking “just keep it going, hold it together. The buds need me.” I got across and got down into the muddy parking lot. I stopped and rested for a second. I was sweating so much and starting to feel nauseous. I kept thinking “suck it up, make it home.” I tried my husband again. No answer. I was starting to get angry. Angry thinking he keeps that damn phone on all day and night, answering it even when we are out, or during the night so that even the text, Facebook update, news update dings wake me up during the night. But the one time it would be useful, no answer.

I walked (well…hobbled) half way across the parking lot and finally just sat down. I couldn’t keep going. I have never broken anything. I’ve never needed a cast/splint. I haven’t even sprained anything. Anytime I’ve tweaked an ankle or a knee doing stuff, I could always just walk it off. So being unable to go on my own power was not sitting well with me. So my pain and upset finally turned into me just about starting to almost cry as I sat there with my 2 dogs in the parking lot unable to move. I just kept thinking “Knock it off, suck it up, this isn’t helping you.” Just kept repeating it to myself so my wave of emotion would pass.

I tried my husband’s cell one more time and still no answer. I was so upset. A surfer girl in her truck stopped and asked me if I was OK. I said sure. I think I was so inside my own head at that point, I couldn’t really process her offer of help. I was thinking if I could make it to the fire station, they could help me the rest of the way. I tried husband’s cell one more time with no answer. I decided to try our home number. We never, ever answer our home phone. The only calls on it are sales/political calls. Friends and family call our cells. The machine picked up and I just kept yelling into it to wake up. Finally he picked up. I told him where I was and to come get us. Awesomely, after he got the dogs in and me, the first thing out of his mouth was how he was late leaving for Tahoe now. Really?

I got inside, got my shoes off and my ankle was the size of a baseball. That can’t be good. I butt-slid myself up the stairs and onto the sofa. My house is a tri-level. Many stairs….awesome. My foot and ankle were 1 big bundle of swollen pain. Husband kept asking me what happened, if it rolled in or out, did I hear a crack. I don’t know. I honestly couldn’t remember. It just happened.

Anyway, I got up this AM after an iffy night of sleep (having to stay on my back, with my leg elevated a bit over a pillow, snagging the blanket on my foot and hurting it – ow!) Around 7:30am I finally couldn’t stay in bed any longer, so I butt slid my way up the stairs to let the dogs into the front yard. Then I hobbled and hopped around the kitchen and got their breakfasts. Then hopped around and cleaned all the dishes up that were left in the sink and on the counter. I couldn’t let them sit there – bad patient. I tried putting pressure on my foot. The good news is the swelling has gone down a lot. Can see my little bones and tendons again in most spots. Yesterday it was one giant ball of swollen. I still can’t walk on it. From everything I read online yesterday, this is definitely pointing to a fracture. BUT, could still just be severe soft tissue damage. *fingers crossed* I can kinda hobble on it if I lean on something too and put all the pressure on my heel. But trying to walk on my foot heel to toe – notsomuch. And I can feel the pain more localized instead of a throbbing ball of ouch. It feels like it runs from the high ankle to my calf.

My doctor couldn’t see me yesterday afternoon. So I could go to Urgent Care or the ER. No thanks. So I am seeing how it feels by Monday and if still unable to walk on it – will go to the doctor. I hate the doctor. But at least the pain will be more localized and the doctor will be able to see what’s wrong easier. I have waaaaaaaay too much work to do next week. And my life is not conducive to not being able to run around a lot – at home, office, with the dogs. The huskies need their Mom very mobile!

So after picking up the kitchen, I hopped into the living room and am now sitting on the couch and watching Buffy on the Chiller channel. They are in the 2nd season and Angel is still on. A very good distraction :)

Doing stuff around the house and work on my computer this afternoon so I turned the TV on. I like the noise. I can generally put on show or movie that I like, that is familiar, and can have it on in the background and get stuff done too. Occasionally, it can’t work in the background and I get sucked in (hello Star Wars, Raiders or The Godfather…) Today I put on Sex and the City. Love that show. The clothes are drool-worthy and the girls are fun! But I’ve seen most of the eps so many times that I won’t get too sucked in.

The shows that were on today is the arc with Carrie and Petrovsky played by Mikhail Baryshnikov (the final series episodes.) I have loved him since I was a kid. Not sure why – never really been into ballet or “the arts” (nose stuck up in the the air.) But I saw “White Nights” and loved him :) I went and saw him live when he came with his White Oak Dance Project. Amazing. And truly – I am NOT into “the arts” (I say pooshah to those people!) But he is amazing. I remember when I knew he was going to be SATC when it was first run – I was excited! I was not an Aidan fan so a good boyfriend (after Big) for Carrie would be great!

Watching the show now, his character is so, so perfectly romantic. Everything he does for Carrie. He is so storybook. Of course, in that TV/movie boy kind-of-way. He wants to take her to the ballet, read poetry to her, stay for days in his apartment hanging out and reading without needing to leave, go out to dinners in cocktail attire and drink champagne, make dinner at home in his fantastic apartment in cocktail attire and drink champagne! Plus he has a cool accent :) But then they are sure to show the self-absorbed artist side as well. But they make sure you fall for him before really showing too much of that.

But at the end of the day, when Big comes back and wants to win Carrie back, I can’t help but root for him. Big, for all of his many faults and mistakes, comes back and realizes Carrie is for him. Realizes that he made a huge mistake in letting her go and does whatever he has to do to get her back. He doesn’t give up. He flies to Paris for her! Sigh….To get her back from this “fairy-tale” that she is in with Alexsander in Paris. He can’t give Carrie up. And THAT, not his money or job or driver and car or house in Napa or nice suits or blah blah blah, is what makes girls keep rooting for him over all others. He wants her. And he doesn’t give up. Although I’m sure all men in the world would argue that. But then they are all searching for the 25 year-old supermodel nymphomaniac who will dote on them like King Henry, keep the house, run all the errands, cook dinner AND make a million dollars.

Now…let’s be real..Big is a TV/movie guy too. I am 100% convinced there are no men out there like Alexsander or Big. The rich guy cheating part – oh, that’s real. The guy who wants an awesome girl to be at their side but not more than their own selfish needs? Oh – that’s out there plenty. They definitely make Big more awesome than the real life guy would be. They make him a great movie/TV guy. And I can’t help but root for him. But just need to keep remembering it’s all Hollywood folks.

And just to make sure you remember that – E Online runs commercials for pure tacky, ghetto trash like The Kardashians, RuPaul’s Drag Race, The Dance Scene and other horrific “look at me” shows to make sure you don’t get too caught up in storybook fantasy. Society sure has taken a digger when this is popular entertainment. Gross.

Oh – look! Moulin Rouge is on! Listening to Obi Wan sing “Your Way” or “Come What May” (can listen to him sing this song over and over…this is where I developed my Ewan crush) is definitely decent romantic snowy Sunday afternoon fare :)

Yesterday was my 12th wedding anniversary. Yikes. I’m old.

We were supposed to go up to Tahoe early Thursday (today) morning since a big snow storm was coming. But for some reason my husband didn’t want to drive up and potentially be stuck in the traffic/highway closures that have accompanied all the storms. I say “for some reason” because normally, he doesn’t care – he just wants to get up there into the fresh snow. So we stayed here and will try the drive up late Friday night/early Saturday morning depending on the weather/highway conditions. I was pretty excited to get up there for the storm but whatever. These are probably the last of the big winter (spring?) storms and I want some white, fluffy snow. But being stuck on the highway for 8 hours last Saturday was no fun either.

Husband had a dinner meeting Tuesday night. Around 5pm, he asked if I wanted to come. I was still at work and, since I took Monday off, I had a lot of stuff to do. Plus I got up at 5:30am, after not sleeping well again thanks to his snoring. And I was in my “drive into work from Tahoe” outfit of jeans and a sweater – not really “dinner in the city with business partners” clothes. Turns out (I found out the next day) his partner brought his wife so my husband was bothered that I didn’t go. Hi – she has no job. She stays at home, exercises and shops all day. Of course she could go to dinner in SF at the last minute. But yes – clearly that was my problem. I got home after 8pm from work and unpacked everything and ended up going to bed around 11:30pm and he was still not home. So yeah – that would have worked out well for me who gets up early.

Wednesday morning came and I got a “Happy Anniversary” as I was on my way out the door to work. He had just woken up since he got home so late. At work all day – no calls, no flowers, nothing. Ok. Whatever. He was with the same partners in meetings all day.

Around 4pm he texted and said we should go out to dinner and to pick a place. Ok. He got us a reservation at my favorite local sushi place for 8pm. I brought a bottle of bubbly since the last time we were there, they had actually run out of champagne (?) and I love the combo of sushi and champagne. Plus it was our anniversary.

We got there and had a nice dinner. I gave him his card and gifts, that I put time and effort into considering he is impossible to buy anything for. I got nada. Not even a card. A simple $2.00 card. Nothing. I guess dinner was it.

When we got home around 10:30ish – he went straight to his computer. I went to bed.

I’m pretty much come to the conclusion that this is the amount of effort he wishes to put into this. It made me sad. We’ve been together a long time. But things just die a slow death when you don’t care for them and put effort into them. I guess I shouldn’t care either then.

“It has been said, ‘time heals all wounds.’ I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone.”

This has been attributed to Rose Kennedy. I typically do not agree with any Kennedy-isms. But this one I do.

Just watched “Morning Glory”. Of course I loved it. It has Harrison Ford in it! He played the grumpy, curmudgeon-ey guy that most interviews portray him as. Now, I’ve always loved that about him. He isn’t the pandering, Hollywood kick-ass that most actors are. He hates to do interviews (wouldn’t you?) He doesn’t do stupid crap to end up in tabloids and be followed by paparazzi. He wants to show up, do his job exactly as he is supposed to, be paid for it and leave. Exactly like me :)

He’s pretty adorable in the movie. As is Rachel McAdams. And no…she is not the love interest. Which was great. They could have a relationship without it being sexual or romantic. And she is adorable too! Her character is the workaholic. Was funny…another character mentioned how she was 28 and all she focused on was work. When I was in my late teens and 20s – all I did was work. Pretty sure that’s normal? My job was everything. My boss would call me late at night, on the weekends, etc. I was always available. I got there at 7am (I did refuse to get there earlier) and work till 6 or 7pm or later. And then be available to call in the evenings or weekends. And this was before email. I had a cell phone, an answering machine and a pager. (#old)

When I first started working for my boss everyone told me (the office HR manager, the girl I was replacing, the trading room and even his partners) that he burned through assistants in 6 months or less. Ok…Great. Thanks. I do not know why. I mean, he could be grumpy. But oh well. I got to see a side of him he didn’t show many people. I broke through the crusty exterior and we clicked. Most people were scared of him. This still cracks me up. Really? Him? But I guess I feel the same way when people act scared of the huskies. Really? Them? He became like a father figure to me and still is. And even now when we talk, he teases me about me about stuff and I’m like dude – you are such a grump! (yes…I would and still do call him dude…this is CA, I was very young when I started working for him and I am probably one of the very few people alive able to get away with that!)

I remember one Saturday being at work doing something and my boss’ brother came in (he was also one of the partners) and he made some snarky comment about his brother having slave labor. I smiled as he walked out while thinking “Well, if you weren’t such a mean, self-centered jackass you might inspire someone to work harder and do extra stuff for you too.” That guy was a jerk. Now sure how he was related to my boss. At. All.

All of my hours and extra work and stress also included me learning about the stock market, how to trade commodities and options, make a bunch of money in my stock account, pay for a LOT of life stuff with no debt, apply a work ethic where you work hard and are rewarded. Those are all things you do not learn in high school, college or grad school. Those are life lessons and practical learning. Reading about something and taking a test or writing a paper is not the same as applying it in life. I wouldn’t trade that experience for anything.

But now that I’m not in my 20s, I guess I don’t think work should BE my life. It’s part of my life. But not all of it. That was then. This is now. Plus I didn’t have huskies then! They are more important :)

Anyway, Rachel McAdams does NOT learn that work isn’t everything and she shouldn’t care so much about work. I appreciated that. She still has years to go before she gets to learn that! But she does break through the crusty exterior of Harrison Ford’s character. Was very cute and made me smile and remember when I was younger :)

Took the huskies to the beach this morning and they had a GREAT time! It was super low-tide so there was a ton of open beach to run on. I let them off-leash when they saw their friend Marley (ginormous black lab.) Actually Marley saw them first and he took off running full speed down the beach to meet them – he’s pretty darn cute. I let them off so they could meet him half-way! They ran around and had fun. Then we met a border collie named Maverick. This dog was FAST! And the huskies were tearing around chasing him as he chased his frisbee. Then he would drop his frisbee and chase them back.

Storm even went into the water to cool off! He has not done that in a long time. I guess with so many missing fur spots, he doesn’t get as hot as Angelus anymore. But he was chasing Maverick and they both just ran into the water and then a small wave came up and they were both belly high in water and Storm had this HUGE smile on his face. So, so cute.

Angelus wanted to play with a little dog who wanted to say hi to Angelus but then got scared and ran away at the last second. Well…to Angelus this means “Chase me!” Oops. He chased the little dog into a small alcove by the bluff and was like RUFF! Tail-wagging and smiling. But the little dog Mom saw it more as a “he wants to eat her!” No…he doesn’t. Little dog people are so funny. I grabbed him so she could grab her dog (Francesca…of course) and even as she did Fracesca was leaning out of her arms to sniff Angelus. See – everyone is fine. Then Angelus got bored and came back to the chase game with Storm and Maverick.

We were down on the beach for 2 hours playing! Angelus started getting warm after about 1.5 hours. The sun was shining so even with ocean dips, he was getting hot. He was making it clear he was done and wanted to head back. But Storm kept wanting to play!! I finally had to say enough when I saw Stormy’s back legs shaking a little. I think with everything he has been through this past year, he muscle tone is still not at 100% and he gets tired. But after 2 hours of running and chasing – I’d be tired too!

While we were out there, everyone wanted to talk about the tsunami. Was quite the event here. Maverick’s dad told me that they had an evac area set up on top of 92 (at the highest point.) I did see a bunch of cars and the state police there when I drove to work but apparently the news showed it as basically a parking lot with tons and tons of cars parked there and along Highway 35 too?! Who knows if the news exaggerated (as they like to do for drama and effect) but when I drove by the area there were about 20 cars and the cops. So I’m sure between 7-9am, there were a lot more. I do know they evacuated the houses on the west side of Highway 1 as well as the beaches and harbor. I guess safe is better than sorry but seeing how the tsunami was when it hit Hawaii, I was pretty sure anyone not actually standing on the beach would be just fine. But on my way home from work around 8pm last night, there were STILL cars parked there with people just milling about. Really??

I tend to not worry about most things. I think I keep all of my stress and worry focused mostly on the huskies. So as I was walking around yesterday AM and the highway was closed, fire trucks and cop cars lining the highway with lights flashing, cars and trucks just parked on streets and people walking around, helicopters buzzing around…it was a bit eerie. I thought to myself “Am I not as concerned for our safety as I should be?” But I figured the huskies didn’t seem concerned. They wanted to go to the beach. And animals have much better senses about this type of stuff (notice how all of the animals in Indonesia ran AWAY from the coast as the tourists walked towards it..) so I was taking their lead.

Even this morning, while we were on the beach, there were tide surges. It was super low tide but then all of a sudden, like ALL OF A SUDDEN, the tide has come up right to the bluffs. I managed to jump on a rock both times to avoid wet feet! And the huskies like wet paws! But it was SO fast, that I can’t even imagine it at that same speed with much more powerful water/waves. And it goes out just as fast. Very cool effect to see in real life. But I am totally OK with that and yesterday’s wave and tide viewing being the extent of my tsunami experience.

It’s a gorgeous day here today. Sunshine and a light breeze. Angelus argues much too hot but even he is lying on his lawn right now with a smile on his face :) He loves, loves, loves the snow but Storm tends to get cheesed a bit when we are in Tahoe as he gets cold faster so gets shorter walks. I was all packed and ready to go to Tahoe last night but I was SO tired after 2 nights of very little sleep. So I bagged the idea right as I should have headed out and decided to stay here. Plus the weather said it might rain up there. Yuck! I think I made the right call. The huskies had a BLAST on the beach today and Stormy got lots of playing and running in which he probably wouldn’t have in Tahoe. I think Stormy likes the snow and loves the beach. Angelus loves the beach but loves the snow more. So I need to make sure both are happy :)

So last weekend we spent in the snow. This weekend we are chilin’ at the beach and next weekend we will head back up to the snow as a new storm is expected to drop another 2 feet!

Snowy mountains, tsunami warnings, sunny beach…just another week in California…

At the beginning of the year I decided that I was going to eat lunch outside of the office one day a week. And enjoy it! This might not sound like a big deal to many people but to me it was. Before my current job, I worked at a hedge fund. That means market hours and you do not leave your desk during market hours. I think I can count the times I had lunch outside the office on 1 hand in the 10 years I worked there. And have fingers left.

Then I had start-up hours (which means never leave the office) and then even when my hours went to fairly normal, I didn’t go out much. I think mostly because a) I got used to eating quickly at my desk scanning news, stock prices, etc b) I thought going out to lunch was a waste of time, money and calories and c) I have the dogs here with me so never really thought I should leave them by themselves in the office.

But this year I decided one time per week, it was OK to spend a little time and money (and calories) out with co-workers/friends and actually enjoy a meal. It lasted pretty well through January. But sadly I think the experiment has come to an end.

Part of the problem is that in order for me to want to spend the time, money and calories on it, it has to be worthwhile to me. I know a lot of people garner a lot of joy from eating. I don’t think I am one of them. Certainly a really tasty meal is great. But I am far from one of those people that thinks about my next meal as I am eating my current one. Or that truly enjoys the experience of eating. I think my mind is too busy calculating how much exercise I just wasted on that food. Plus I’m a pretty plain/simple eater. So a lot of “fancy” stuff means nothing to me. And a lot of fatty, delicious stuff just creates guilt.

Some people live to eat. They truly enjoy it. They love to cook, find weird ingredients, talk about their joy of it, make up complicated or exotic dishes, try every new restaurant that opens, etc. That’s cool for them I suppose. I’m just not one of them.

I love going out to eat with my friends. But I actually enjoy the company and conversation more than the food. So if I’m not craving something in particular, and we are rushed, there is really no good reason to do it.

If I’m not able to spend the time and relax a little, it’s just not worth it to me. If I’m still eating and the check is already being divied up and people are grabbing their purses looking at me (no, I am definitely not a slow eater – kinda like Storm that way!), then it’s not worth the time, money or ingested extra calories. F it.

And if it is pointed out how many calories I just ate, I don’t need to be with those people out to lunch.

So I guess it’s back to my desk and checking twitter and my stock prices. The huskies like this more too I think. a) I am here b) they can share my lunch c) I don’t have to stay at work later to make up the time I spent out and can take them home at a reasonable time and d) the money I save I can use on more treats for them :)