a99kitten's Musings

Comic Con Day 4! Oh wait…I didn’t go. I was sad when I left the hotel. Kinda like when football season is over. Mopey-face.

When I first saw the schedule for this year’s SDCC I saw that, as usual, there wasn’t much on Sunday in terms of panels that I cared about. I would have loved to see the SyFy Merlin panel but if there was a day to take off, this was it. Normally Sunday is my “floor day” after using the other days for mostly panels. Of course, I also used to go to Preview Night for floor time before it became a frackin’ nightmare to try and get a pass. #dontgetmestarted

So instead of staying around SDCC, I made a reservation at the California Wolf Sanctuary. I have been donating to this organization for a number of years but have never actually visited. So since the Monday tours were all booked, I booked a tour for Sunday. Had to be there at 9:30 and they are about 1.5 hours away so it was another early morning of getting ready, packing, checking out and sitting. But instead of in line or in panels, it was in a car.

Got up there on time. And wow. I can not think of enough good things to say about this experience. Was pure awesome sauce. The tour was for about 30 people-ish? A short in-room presentation about the history of wolves, hunting and their endangered status and where the packs are now that have been re-introduced. The guide was much, much more politically correct than I would have been. Basically – humans suck. We almost obliterated this species because man didn’t want first tier predators around. I hate most humans. Oh…and humans still hunt them. And still want them obliterated. And spend a lot of lobby money to get them off the endangered species list so they can hunt them. Even after there is scientific proof that with the wolves back in the eco system, all of nature actually thrives. But hunters don’t want to hear that. Yeah…humans generally suck.

Another thing we learned: a grey wolf has 1500 lbs (psi i believe is the measurement) of bite pressure. A pit bull or German Shepherd has 700. So…that wolf is ripping your arm out of your socket when they lose wookiee-style!

OH! And there was actually a species of direwolves back in the day! And they were HUGE! So they are not just a fantasy creature made up by George R. Martin in the Game of Thrones. Team Direwolf!!!

Anyway – after that short in room presentation, we went out to the Alaskan Grey Wolf area. But none were out. Sleepy time in the hot weather I guess. So they took us over to the Mexican wolf area. This sanctuary is a big part of the Federal project to re-introduce Mexican wolves to the wild. So they have some that are not part of the tour so that they don’t get used to humans. But they have 3 that will probably not be re-introduced to the wild and that are on occasion shown on tour.

They are 3 girls. So pretty. Because of their coloring and their smaller size (compared to the Alaskan Grey wolf) they are sometimes mistaken for coyotes. They really just look like brown Storms!

They were walking around a lot, marking the fence (which they do my rubbing on it or chewing at it), or rolling around in the dirt. So husky like! The guide was telling us a story about how because they might still be reintroduced , they don’t get the same food as the Alaskan wolves. They get more kibble than meat unless it’s meat they would hunt in the wild such as deer or rabbit. Someone asked about squirrel. He said the wolves generally don’t eat the ground squirrels or crows but they will catch them and play with them to “get their squeaker out” and then they are done with them. O.M.G. – HOW HUSKY-LIKE!!!

He said one of the other females is older and has medical (renal) issues. So she is on a very low-protein diet. But apparently she gets sick of the kibble so she takes it and spreads it out so the crows come and try and eat it and then grabs one and eats it! What a smart buddy ☺

He had funny stories about the wolves and we got some good pics. I wished I had a good camera and not just my iPhone. But oh well. Then we saw that the Alaskan wolves come out so we got to go back to see them. Wow – the first male we saw is HUGE. Huge like Angelus looks like a baby compared to him. (Angelus strongly disagrees with this comparison.) In this area they had 2 females and 2 males. They had other fenced off sections with other packs, a mom and pups, another female who kept getting into fights to try and be alpha. But they were not on tour.

We hung out and waited for the Alaskans and then the 2 females came out. They feed them raw chickens and turkey (but like the kind you get at the store, not feathered or anything), and other stuff I won’t go into because while I understand the Circle of Life, I never like seeing it.

We got to see 1 of the females really close and she was pretty funny – she would stretch for us, yawn, try and catch flies. She seemed very bored by us all ☺ The male went over and found a shady spot and stretched and then laid down like Angelus does when he is done with me and wants to lie down and not be bothered.

We got to hang out for a long time watching them, taking pictures, asking questions. The guide was great. Never felt rushed at all. And it really became clear that wolves are just feral huskies ;)

Oh! And they have the bumper sticker that I saw a long time ago and want so badly! “Little Red Riding Hood Lied” It was stuck to something and not for sale (it was made by Defenders of Wildlife years ago and they told me it was sold out and they never remade them.) I am SO getting back to my project of making this for me ☺

Basically, this tour strengthened my resolve to keep sending my donations to them and this cause. For years and years and years I have only donated to animal /wildlife causes. Mostly to Defenders of Wildlife, Best Friends Animal Sanctuary and here. My only human donation in forever was for 9/11. I will continue this and increase it. The damage humans have done and continue to do to this planet and its animal life is disgusting.

Without the ecosystem they help maintain and keep in good health, all of the starving children in Africa, landmine victims in Bosnia, the fight for gay marriage, the fight against gay marriage, human tsunami/earthquake/volcano victims in Haiti/Japan/Chili/Indonesia/Philippines/wherever and the many walks, runs, trots and bracelets to find cures for every disease under the sun, moon and stars will mean nothing in the end unless you want a gray, sterile Blade Runner world. Not to say I won’t donate elsewhere too, but it will always 100% to animals. Period.

If you have a chance to ever visit, I strongly recommend it. Private tours book up well in advance (that’s my next trip!!!) and winter tours book up early too because many people like to see the wolves in the snow (it snows up there a few times a winter.)

www.californiawolfcenter.org

We drove back through the town of Julian which is an old gold mining town. Very cute. Saw 2 coyotes and 1 wild turkey on the drive back! Stopped at a vista in the National Forest (you drive through it) and you look out over a canyon named Storm! Canyon (ok, I added that exclamation point!) Stormy wants to know why he wasn’t there too!

Then got back into civilization and saw Captain America which was GREAT. Plus got trailers for John Carter (of Mars) staring Taylor Kitsch (who looks delicious in it) and the new Mission Impossible movie which looks AWESOME! Oh – and if you have not seen Captain America yet but plan to – stay till the credits are OVER. I have friends who didn’t – doh! Avengers Assemble…in July 2012!!! So even though I didn’t spend anytime at Comic Con today, I kept the Con spirit alive by geeking out anyway on both wolves and superheroes.

☺

So we got home (well, to the hotel) last night around 1:30am ish. Husband googled Colin Farrell as we were talking about his earlier movies and he wanted to check some of them out. Apparently, one of the top pages that came up in the google results was colin farell + herpes. Awesome. So of course husband clicked story. It wasn’t so much a story about Colin Farrell as a list of celebs that have been seen buying the herpes medicine or have admitted to it. Fn yuck.

And the list was long. And not just filled with the obvious such as the Hiltons, Lohans and Kardashians of the world. But people like Bill Clinton (although I guess one is kinda obvious), Scarlett Johannsen, Brad Pitt, Janet Jackson and more. And then Katie Holmes was on that list?? WHAT?!?! Little sweet Joey from Dawson’s Creek?? She has had like 1 boyfriend and 1 husband. Oh wait…look down the list and there is Joshua Jackson. Oh Pacey…say it ain’t so…

But I have to sit and wonder what the hell is wrong with these people? If you know you have a communicable disease why are you having unprotected sex, kissing whatever with open sores??? ARGH! Guh-ROSS!!! What is wrong with you???

And Hollywood is just 1 big high school class so don’t you girls talk to each other?? Derek Jeter apparently gave 3 or 4 of the girls on the list herpes. Hello???

Now, I have no idea what is true about the list or not. And have no interest or intention in looking further. But if I had a low opinion of celebs before (which I did), it sunk even lower. I just don’t think most of them are very bright. And then they live in their weird bubble of warped reality. With a lot of money and no one to tell them no or teach them about clean living. Bad combo. This doesn’t mean all actors are like this. Big, BIG difference between actors and celebrities.

On the bright side though, Colin Farrell was extremely polite and gracious at the event last night. So many people were crowding around and asking for pictures (yes, me too as he came by) and autographs. And he accommodated everyone who asked and answered questions. Very nice. So I can only say why did you sleep with Lindsay Lohan and get diseased poor sir…

This was the website:

http://www.godlikeproductions.com/forum1/message696798/pg1

So my pinched nerve is still around and killing me. I get my (hopefully) final x-ray for my ankle on Wednesday, and while it gets sore after walking or doing my physical therapy, it’s nothing compared to the “I want to saw my shoulder and arm off to stop the pain” from the pinched nerve. 24/7 pain can wear you out. My husband seems to think it’s no big deal. CANNOT wait until he hurts himself and needs sympathy or understanding…

So far, I’ve been to a medical doctor (2), a chiropractor, physical therapist and an acupuncturist. They all agree I have textbook symptoms of a pinched nerve. Yeah, thanks – I got that by reading webmd. But there is no “cure” for that other than your body healing itself. Great. But the chiro and acupuncture did help to a certain degree. Next, I believe I will be trying a Wiccan spell…maybe some voodoo?

My regular doctor sent me to a “Physical Medicine” doctor yesterday who deals with sports and back/shoulder injuries and pain management. He prescribed me a home traction machine (think The Rack for your neck and head) and Prednisone for a week. I like the traction machine at my physical therapist’s so hopefully that gets delivered Monday or Tuesday. It literally stretches your head/neck/spine to relieve the pressure on the nerve. I’m also hoping it will make me a couple millimeters taller :) He also prescribed a drug used for nerve pain. I grilled him on what the drug was, side effects, what else it is prescribed for, etc and he assured me it’s one of the safest drugs out there. Uh-huh (I have a natural distrust of doctors…will never change my mind about that.) I read up on it before I took it because I’ve pretty much decided 90% of drugs pushed nowadays contain some form of psych drug which I want no part of. Get away.

I read the info sheet but then went online. First, most people who put their experiences up online seem to have bad ones. I learned that when researching Storm’s illnesses but man…people…we need positive stuff up online too! Sheesh. Anyway, a lot of psych drugs are pushed for pain nowadays because you are likely to be depressed if the pain is long-lasting. Of course I’m depressed you numnutz – I AM IN PAIN. And can’t do anything fun! But giving me something to F my brain up is NOT the solution. Stopping the pain and curing why I have the pain is. But the drug he gave me is not a psych drug. At least there is no place I could find online that it is prescribed for any type of mental crap and, in fact, people on message boards talk about how they take this for the nerves and something else for their depression. Nice. So I might try it tonight. I really hate taking anything for any reason.

I was watching TV and there was a Cymbalta commercial on. But before you know it’s for Cymbalta they show you people who are experiencing regular daily pain from back injuries, arthritis, etc. so you would assume it is for a pain reliever. Then they say “Cymbalta Can Help” (their wonderful tag line.) F.U. Eli Lilly. F.U. They now basically prescribe anti-depressants for anything: for pain, to quit smoking, weight loss. Frackin’ gross.

Yes, I get how being in pain for a long time can depress you. Of course it can. I haven’t been able to do anything fun for weeks. And just sitting and reading or watching TV hurts. And yeah, I get bummed about it. But I *will* get better. I refuse to stay in a mopey state of mind for very long. And when I get mopey, I know it’s because I’m tired. Tired of hurting and being tired. I don’t sleep much or well. And haven’t since I broke my ankle which then led to the pinched nerve. Plus being in pain simply wears you out. But there is not 1 part of me that would EVER consider taking an anti-depressant to “deal” with that. What is wrong with society that this is the only way you know how to deal with things. By not dealing and just drugging. Bah.

I also read the info sheet that they gave me with my Prednisone. Every side effect in the world is possible – excellent! But I like how weight loss AND weight gain were included. Huh? I’ll take the weight loss please…thanks!

But here is hoping with my ankle x-ray is good and the brace comes off this Wednesday, which will then allow me to walk more normally and not aggravate my pinched nerve so that heals and it all gets better. I need to be in good walking/running shape by Comic Con!!! And I need my husky walks again. THAT is a natural anti-depressant :)

Conspiracy theorists have been saying Osama has been dead for years and the US was waiting for the right moment to use it. Now, I love a good conspiracy theory and I’m not going to say that’s impossible, because I’m sure it is possible. But I’m pretty sure Obama would have waited to closer to Nov 2012 for that for maximum approval rating.

But why was he disposed of so soon, with no pictures, etc? Islamic tradition calls for burial at sea? A religion followed by a  LOT of people in a dry desert region?  Wacky. But even if he died 5 years ago, 3 years ago or yesterday, I don’t care. He’s dead. Good.

But after reading my twitter feed, you’d think Obama actually landed there himself, shot Osama and was back in time for dinner. People – Obama didn’t catch him. Much like Bush didn’t catch Saddam. Our military and CIA did. Likely with information gathered from some good old-fashioned torture of some good old-fashioned bad guys. Yes, both Presidents gave the OK on those missions. And were kept up to date. But let’s get real here folks. Much like I won’t say Obama is entirely responsible for the current economic crisis (but yes he does have some culpability), he is not responsible for this. I was getting pretty pissed at the ignorant jack-asses on twitter, who probably actually believe, that said “Bush, his administration and the military did nothing for 8 years. Only till Obama came along to get it done.” Umm…really? Wow. And these people vote?  Yikes.

And I was happy to hear the guy was dead as he was responsible for 9/11 (unless of course you believe another conspiracy theory which was again trotted out on twitter last night…and RTed by not just one Hollywood celeb…sigh) and he was an evil SOB who I am glad is gone from the face of the Earth. BUT, Al Qaeda and terrorism wasn’t eradicated you know? I mean, do you *really* think Osama was still giving day to day orders and running the Al Qaeda missions? He was a crusty old man on dialysis living large in a suburb mansion with no phone or internet. Pretty sure he was no more than a figurehead at this point. So let’s remember we have a lot more terrorists to kill and not pat anyone on the back for erasing terrorism (yes, saw that on twitter too…seriously..these people shouldn’t be allowed out of their homes unsupervised.)

Saw tons of tweets about how the stock market would go up and oil will go back to $2.00 a gallon. Wha? Sure the stock market might get a little bounce, good time to sell any over-valued stocks in your portfolio. Because it will go right back down on a bad earnings report or bad jobs or housing starts report. Wall Street likes good news and all but is a realistic machine. And oil/gas….well last I checked Osama didn’t run any oil fields. Qaddafi dying would be a bigger deal. Or Chavez. Or the entire Saudi royal family (going out Moldavian-style like on Dynasty!) But not Osama. Not unless Al Qaeda firebombs all the oil fields. But then it goes UP you goobers – not down. We will never see $2.00 a gallon gas again IMO. Not unless Marty comes back from the future with fusion technology very soon. Keeping in mind some of that is due to our dollar being so hammered and devalued (now that we can pin some of on Obama’s administration) that $2.00 today is like $1.00 just twenty years ago.

But again, people don’t think about stuff like that. And politicians know it. They read the headlines and remember what’s out there right now. Obama released his birth certificate (finally) and then was funny at a Washington Correspondents dinner (and this made him cool which means a LOT more to young voters than experience, knowledge or anything else…sad) and then killed Public Enemy Number One. So he is Superman to a lot of people. At least for now. Until more bad jobs reports come out. Or voters run out of their 99 weeks of unemployment. Or some other thing happens to erase whatever good people think he did. The business of politics. And even more so now with social media and instant news flashing in front of your face every 2 seconds. People’s attention spans are shrinking fast. But Obama’s approval numbers were the lowest they have ever been, so I guess it was a good time for him to pull this out…assuming you believe the conspiracy that the government had Osama’s body on ice already. But again, would have been a better play closer to re-election time so that theory seems a tad unlikely.

Besides, Superman is a putz. He just renounced his US citizenship. I’ll take Jack Bauer over that jerk.

It’s amazing what not doing anything and sitting on your arse does for the healing process. Last Monday and Tuesday I went to work and worked full days. At work i do try and stay seated most of the time but yes I do get up for the copy or fax machine or to go the bathroom which now seems about 10 miles away from my office. Plus I can’t really elevate my leg properly so it does get swollen. Plus my knee actually gets torqued under my desk trying to keep my leg elevated so it’s just a giant painful mess.

So by Tuesday night, my leg hurt. I think there is the pain/ache from the break and all of the associated swelling and bruising and healing going on all around it. But then there is the weight of this boot on my leg. It’s dang heavy. Plus I have to keep it on tight so my calf is just really over it. Then I think my other leg is just sore & tired from having to do all of the work! And when it hurts this much going to bed, I know I won’t sleep well. I sleep with the boot on since if I move my ankle the wrong way (which is any way really) during the night – OWWWWW! F***!!!!! (happened once, don’t need another lesson!) So I have a blanket on top of my bedspread to put my booted leg on and then just sleep on my back. Super comfy (no, not really.)

Sure enough, Wednesday AM I was exhausted and in pain. So I stayed home from work. Laid on the couch with my leg up and icing it throughout the day. Felt a bit better. But I still didn’t seem to sleep all that well. Woke up exhausted on Thursday. So stayed home again. I knew I had a LOT to do that had to be done ON Friday so rest up and work all day Friday. Again, stayed on the couch mostly except for when our accountant called with a gazillion questions about things that are downstairs in my home office (way to not wait until the last minute dude…grrr.)

And then I heard a ruckus outside. Lots of kid noise. So I hobbled over to the window and see 2 little boys in the street (one of them being our neighbor) poking something in the street, throwing pine cones at it. I think “if they are killing a critter I am going to go down and beat those serial killer in-training little bastards with my cane!” So I hobble down and out my driveway and down my street to the corner. They had already walked away and by the time I near the middle of the street, I see them coming back so I shout “Hey – you” and they look at me like the crazy lady I’m sure I looked like. “Yeah – you” I say. “Did you kill something out there in the street?” The one who is my neighbor comes right over “No, no – it was dead already and I was trying to move it out of the street.” Dead already huh? What is it I asked. He said it was a headless mole – wanna see? Umm. No. Thanks. He said maybe a cat got it? Sure – plausible. I do come across them on occasion (or more exactly – the huskies are sure to find them for me on our walks.) I did believe him because my neighbor’s kids (well, the boys) are the most polite, well mannered little kids that I have ever met. I call them the Stepford children. They call us the Huskies so it’s fair.

He starts walking back with me and asks “did you come all the way out here like that for an animal?” and points to my boot and cane? Yes I sure did. I wanted to make sure there wasn’t something suffering out here. “Oh…wow” he says. Then he starts chatting about the headless bunny they found in the park by the school. Umm..thanks kid for that pleasant visual. I say perhaps a mountain lion or coyote. He says we don’t have those here. Yes we do I say. No I don’t think so he says. So then I say “Vampire maybe?” He just looks at me like I just told him there are indeed ghosts. And then turns around to go back to his friend who is waiting for him. He turns around and yells “BYE!” They really are well mannered children. Meanwhile, Angelus was looking at me from the yard with a look of “Mom, I could have told you it wasn’t alive if you asked…”

I hobble back upstairs and collapse on the couch. My leg hurts now. You can feel the swelling against the boot. So ice time again. But if I didn’t go out there and check, I would have been inside wondering about it and not able to get it out my head that a critter was out in the street suffering in pain. I couldn’t deal with that.

But Friday AM I woke up after a decent night’s sleep and my leg felt as OK as it can. So 2 days of arse-sitting (new Olympic sport??) with my leg elevated correctly and icing it was good for it. So off to work I went and got a lot done. By around 2pm, my leg was hurting but I needed to finish some stuff. I left a little after 5pm in a decent amount of pain. Brilliant timing on my part – 5pm on a Friday. Just me and everyone else going home. Doh. When I got to the Safeway by my house, traffic was stopped on Highway 1 so I swung in to get a few things. I was tired and grumpy but wanted to do it now while I was right here and it beat sitting in traffic.

Motoring down one of the aisles was a guy on the motorized Safeway cart. Dang i think – I should have looked for that! And this guy was grumpy. And taking up the entire aisle and not caring or even looking around. Bumped his cart into a woman. What a jerk I think. When I drove my cart at Costco – I paid attention to not run into other people’s carts! He turned down the wine aisle and and I’m thinking “you already drive so poorly….” But then I saw he was missing a leg. OK – he trumps me for sure. Because no matter how annoyed or grumpy I get with my immobility right now, I know it will heal. So while I will still get annoyed and grumpy about it, I do keep it in perspective.

So I continued my store trip which takes forever since I move so slowly. I see another lady in there wearing my same boot! And it’s not nearly as horrifying as someone wearing your same dress :) We chuckle and point at each other while I think “it’s clearly gimpy day at Safeway today”. Also, I have to say, there were a fair amount of rude people in there. All older men with glasses. Weird. Like it was Grumpy Old Man with Glasses field trip day. Just leave their carts in the middle of the aisle so you can’t get around. When you ask politely “excuse me can you please move your cart?” Mean looks back! Ok, I’ll move your cart for you ass-clown. Using mine to ram it into yours and then into you! Thankfully a younger guy moved the cart for me (on 2 occasions in 2 different aisles. So maybe there is hope for good manners in youth.)

Finally I’m done. Awesomely I find a line with only 1 person in it! Oh wait, it’s because the guy is arguing with the cashier over the proper use of coupon. Sadly, I don’t actually get this until I take my stuff out my cart. They need the manager to come and explain the coupon, point out which items don’t qualify, etc. Seriously, dude? I’ll give you the $2 if you just GO! Finally he does go – to put his non-couponable items away. Wow. Oh guess what? Older guy…with glasses. W.T.H.?

They help me out to the car and I am so happy to be able to sit down but then remember I need dog food. OK. In I go. They saw me hobbling in and immediately ask what I need, they get it for me, one person is already ringing me up and they help me to the car with it. Very nice and efficient customer service! Love that place.

I swung by the bank and the mailbox and then home. I figured this way I did not have to leave the house at all Saturday. Got the dogs out of the car, groceries in the house and fed the dogs dinner. Then I officially collapsed. I was so tired and so swollen I could feel my leg just pressing on all side of the boot. So I got my ice pack and sat there for 2 hours. Sure enough, did not sleep well. But a Saturday of mostly couch patrol (a couple loads of laundry done plus I baked those easy bake Pillsbury chocolate chip cookies!) and I slept much better last night!

Lesson from this week is a full day of work causes pain. As do too many errands or chores. The doctor said stay off of it for the first month. He seems to be right. Who knew all those years of pre-med, medical school, internships and practice would actually be right. Damn it.

So, now I have a wedding to go to today. I have a feeling I will be in pain by this evening. But I need to go to this wedding. A very nice guy who I’ve known for over 10 years, and who lost his wife to cancer a few years ago, found someone to again share his life with. How can you not celebrate that? I’ll be the gimpy in pink not dancing but hopefully with a champagne glass in her hand :)

Being in pain all the time
Being swollen and sore all the time
Having to wear uncute “comfortable” clothes all the time
Having it take 5 minutes to go to damn bathroom, or upstairs or downstairs or anywhere
Not being able to do anything fast
Not really being able to do anything…unless I want it to hurt at some point
Not being able to walk my dogs
Not being able to enjoy outside
Looking into Stormy’s eyes as he wonders why Mom isn’t taking him out like every other day for the past 9 years
Feeling gross and yucky because it hurts to stand too long to put on make-up or do my hair or wear anything besides yoga or workout pants and a sweatshirt
Worrying about gaining weight and feeling fat
Not being able to do all aspects of my job because I’m either stuck at my desk or in so much in pain – I stay home
Feeling weak

Yes, I am fully aware a broken ankle is actually not a big deal. And that it could be way worse. But that does not mean it does not suck. It does not mean that I do not hate it. I do try and keep a positive & rational attitude about it. It will get better soon (ish) as long as I follow doctor’s orders.

But when it hurts to be up and make the huskies and myself a quick dinner – after staying home from work all day because it hurt so much – that sucks. And pisses me off. And I hate it. So I write it down it hopes of blowing of steam.

Not working yet….

So I was essentially called mean yesterday. That’s OK. I don’t care. Especially considering what I was called mean over. Someone on Facebook posted a link to the recent Britney Spears appearance on the Kimmel show. And commented that her dancing was lacking. But I guess trying to say it in a “nicer” way, but then not really. People commented back and forth on her Spanx or whatever. So I watched the clip since I have a lot of free time currently (grrr).

Now, I like Britney. Or wait…I like the old Britney. The one had catchy little pop songs and cute videos and she danced all over the place and seemed very sweet. When both she and Christina Aquilera broke out of Disney and into the pop world, I immediately liked Britney better, CA had the much better voice – no argument – but she just reeked dirty whore. And played up to that. Britney’s sex appeal was more the little girl cutesy thing without being whorebag in your face. Not a fan of whorebag in your face.

But ever since Britney lost her mind she has been a lost cause in my opinion. Personally, as a Starbucks shareholder, I don’t want to see pictures of her holding a venti frappucino, because I don’t want people associating them with her out of shapeness. I’ve seen so many paparazzi shots of her holding those plus the giant Red Bull cans (NOT sugar free) and I’m like do you not have anyone in your life with an ounce of diet sense?

I don’t even like her music anymore. She went the way of more electronic than her real voice. Music stars need to stop that. The auto-tuning thing indicates to me that you can’t actually sing and need the studio help. A novelty for a dance song or 2 is fine but not your entire album or career.

But the whole point of a pop star (IMO) is not necessarily your perfect voice. It’s that you put on a show. You entertain. Singing, dancing, costumes, ENERGY etc. This is why people go to see your shows, watch your videos, buy all your crap. So when you see them flailing around on stage like “a sad, fatter, out of shape version of her former self. No excuse since she can hire personal trainers, chefs, choreographers and stylists.” (this is what I said to be considered mean) well…I mean it.

I diet. I don’t eat when I want. I exercise every damn day. And I don’t get paid to look good or be in shape. It’s what I do for me. So if your job is entertain people, and you are not some lounge singer who can do it sitting at the piano with your voice only, you better get with the program and be entertaining. We’ve all seen Britney dance in her old videos and on MTV. We know she can. She’s just horrifically out of shape now. Or doesn’t practice enough. Or likely both. But that’s lame – that would be like me saying I don’t feel like researching the better health insurance or making sure people get paid because I don’t feel like it. It’s my job – so I better do it! And now that I broke my ankle and CAN’T exercise – I’m watching what I eat VERY carefully. If I can do it, then some chick with millions of dollars and people who do everything for her sure can. Yes, she had 2 kids. I get it. But she was young so her body could bounce back with work. She just didn’t want to do the work.

The funny thing is had she been kicking ass dancing and highly energetic, I don’t think I would have said she was fat or out of shape. Boys still would. But boys are superficial jerks. But the fact that she looked like she needed to sit down and take a cigarette (or sandwich) break during her routine, that’s what made me go “ewww.” Also – Britney – SMILE! Sheesh. And her back-up dancers were all so with it and bopping around highly energetic – that highlighted her deficiencies even more.

Now, I’m sure she is medicated up the wazoo on psych drugs. And these will make her puffy and fat, and listless and tired. So that sucks. And I cannot imagine she will ever be let off of those after the crap she has pulled. Her parents don’t want the golden goose offing herself. But if she is going to go on TV, or on tour, she should do something.

And if that makes me mean – whatever.

Here is the routine. Tell me she does not look like she is about to pass out in her Jazzercise class…

So yesterday AM I took the buds to the beach. We started out on our regular route and then decided to go to Surfers Beach instead of the harbor beach at the last second. Bad decision.

On our way down the hill to the beach something happened. It’s a small hill. A small hill that I have navigated a gazillion times. It was still muddy from all the rain we’ve had. It’s always rocky. Both buds rushed down but they did not pull me but one was going one way, the other the other way. I don’t know what happened it was so fast. I fell. I felt my ankle/foot under me and it hurt. My knee and elbow hit the ground. I got up fast as I had to make sure the dog leashes were under control. As soon as I tried to stand I wanted to scream. I immediately sat down on a rock and was like “ok…I just need to rest it for a minute.” But I kinda already knew that was not the case.

The buds were both pretty cute. They immediately came over to where I was sitting and Angelus gave me little kisses in his worried way. I was like “OK, I can just walk down the beach slowly, it’ll be fine.” Thank Dog I did not try that. I would have been stuck further down the beach and then unable to walk. I sat there for like 5 minutes. The huskies were starting to get impatient! They clearly knew something was wrong with Mom and they were both whining a little. Angelus would walk around me, then come back and give me little kisses.

I got up and tried putting weight on my foot and no go. It hurt sooo bad. So now I’m like “how the heck am I getting back up the hill and home?” I knew husband was home. He was still sleeping when I left but he was also planning on leaving for Tahoe early. I tried his cell but no answer. Sigh. OK…I can do this. I get myself up and essentially half crawl up the hill. It hurt. A lot. By the time I got back up to the trail I was ready to fall down and stay there. But now we were next to Highway 1 so I had to think about the buds and making sure I had a good hold on their leashes.

I tried walking a bit more but it just hurt so bad. I tried husband again. Still no answer. A lady walking her small dog came up and asked if I was OK. I’m sure my limping, pained face, muddy pants and jacket were a bit of a give-a-way to a bit of distress. I said I had fallen and she asked if I needed her phone to call anyone. I told her I had one but my husband wasn’t answering so she said she’d call her husband who has a truck. I said sure. Me contemplating accepting help is a big deal. Especially from a stranger! Her husband wasn’t answering either (seriously men…what is the point of having a cell phone?) I told her that I should be OK and that I was just going to try and make it to the parking lot and wait for my husband. She looked doubtful. She said OK but that she would come back here and look for me after her walk.

I looked at the traffic, wondering how fast I could hobble across safely. There was a lull in southbound traffic and only 2 cars pretty far back northbound. So I went for it. Slowly. The truck coming northbound caught up with me and stopped traffic for me. So that was nice. I slowly hobbled across and just kept thinking “just keep it going, hold it together. The buds need me.” I got across and got down into the muddy parking lot. I stopped and rested for a second. I was sweating so much and starting to feel nauseous. I kept thinking “suck it up, make it home.” I tried my husband again. No answer. I was starting to get angry. Angry thinking he keeps that damn phone on all day and night, answering it even when we are out, or during the night so that even the text, Facebook update, news update dings wake me up during the night. But the one time it would be useful, no answer.

I walked (well…hobbled) half way across the parking lot and finally just sat down. I couldn’t keep going. I have never broken anything. I’ve never needed a cast/splint. I haven’t even sprained anything. Anytime I’ve tweaked an ankle or a knee doing stuff, I could always just walk it off. So being unable to go on my own power was not sitting well with me. So my pain and upset finally turned into me just about starting to almost cry as I sat there with my 2 dogs in the parking lot unable to move. I just kept thinking “Knock it off, suck it up, this isn’t helping you.” Just kept repeating it to myself so my wave of emotion would pass.

I tried my husband’s cell one more time and still no answer. I was so upset. A surfer girl in her truck stopped and asked me if I was OK. I said sure. I think I was so inside my own head at that point, I couldn’t really process her offer of help. I was thinking if I could make it to the fire station, they could help me the rest of the way. I tried husband’s cell one more time with no answer. I decided to try our home number. We never, ever answer our home phone. The only calls on it are sales/political calls. Friends and family call our cells. The machine picked up and I just kept yelling into it to wake up. Finally he picked up. I told him where I was and to come get us. Awesomely, after he got the dogs in and me, the first thing out of his mouth was how he was late leaving for Tahoe now. Really?

I got inside, got my shoes off and my ankle was the size of a baseball. That can’t be good. I butt-slid myself up the stairs and onto the sofa. My house is a tri-level. Many stairs….awesome. My foot and ankle were 1 big bundle of swollen pain. Husband kept asking me what happened, if it rolled in or out, did I hear a crack. I don’t know. I honestly couldn’t remember. It just happened.

Anyway, I got up this AM after an iffy night of sleep (having to stay on my back, with my leg elevated a bit over a pillow, snagging the blanket on my foot and hurting it – ow!) Around 7:30am I finally couldn’t stay in bed any longer, so I butt slid my way up the stairs to let the dogs into the front yard. Then I hobbled and hopped around the kitchen and got their breakfasts. Then hopped around and cleaned all the dishes up that were left in the sink and on the counter. I couldn’t let them sit there – bad patient. I tried putting pressure on my foot. The good news is the swelling has gone down a lot. Can see my little bones and tendons again in most spots. Yesterday it was one giant ball of swollen. I still can’t walk on it. From everything I read online yesterday, this is definitely pointing to a fracture. BUT, could still just be severe soft tissue damage. *fingers crossed* I can kinda hobble on it if I lean on something too and put all the pressure on my heel. But trying to walk on my foot heel to toe – notsomuch. And I can feel the pain more localized instead of a throbbing ball of ouch. It feels like it runs from the high ankle to my calf.

My doctor couldn’t see me yesterday afternoon. So I could go to Urgent Care or the ER. No thanks. So I am seeing how it feels by Monday and if still unable to walk on it – will go to the doctor. I hate the doctor. But at least the pain will be more localized and the doctor will be able to see what’s wrong easier. I have waaaaaaaay too much work to do next week. And my life is not conducive to not being able to run around a lot – at home, office, with the dogs. The huskies need their Mom very mobile!

So after picking up the kitchen, I hopped into the living room and am now sitting on the couch and watching Buffy on the Chiller channel. They are in the 2nd season and Angel is still on. A very good distraction :)

I start every day in a pretty good mood. I might be sleepy. But once I get outside with the dogs, it’s all good. And I suppose if I had my own island, run by my rules, I would stay in that same good mood. Alas…TIHS happens…like…

Your little snarling, barking (and clearly not bright) dog actually attacks my dogs. One of whom then steps on your dog who then yelps and you give ME stink eye. Right. You deserve a smack upside the head. That’s seriously a while other blog rant.
or
Someone lets their dog poo RIGHT next to the stand with the free poo bags. And leaves it there. You deserve a punch right in the eye.
or
All of the poo bag stations on the couple blocks between my house and beach are empty. Because assclowns (like said owner of above little dog) use it as their own personal store and take 5 or 6 at a time. Sometimes I see people take them that don’t even have dogs! All of you deserve a beating with a stick.
or
Someone at work doesn’t replace the paper towels after using the last one; or spills water on the floor by the water cooler and doesn’t clean it up; or apparently empties/rinses their lunch dish in the sink leaving a sink full of shredded lettuce that is now clogging the drain and leaves it there. Were you people raised by savages in a cave?
or
The jackass in his little black Yaris (or Ford Focus or Prius or any number of little tin can cars) thinks he should control the flow of traffic over 92 and goes 10 mph under the speed limit the entire way to Highway 1, ignoring the line of 20+ cars behind him. This deserves a caning in my opinion.
or
My husband, who was at home sick all day (but still chose to go out to Target, the tailor and Costco for stuff for him and not asking if I/we needed anything and who called to say BTW the dryer stopped working and didn’t call anyone for it), is at home at his computer when I get home at 8pm after working all day and hasn’t taken the garbage or recycling out, or even put his dirty dishes in the kitchen, or picked up his clothes that are lying around everywhere, and then asks ME what’s for dinner and says he’s starving when he comes to look at the timer on the oven after I started it. I’m not even sure what that deserves. Something involving a big stick to the head I think.

The funny thing is, I will go to sleep tonight…in the guest room because I cannot take his hacking and snoring all night due to his current sinus infection…and wake up tomorrow AM and be in a good mood once again. Who knows how long that will last, but I will be. My only question is will I eventually implode or explode…at some point in the future….has to happen, right?

Good thing I have my huskies. And a seemingly good form of impulse control. I must because I haven’t maimed or killed anyone yet…that you can prove anyway ;)

Good thing I have my huskies…

Today I saw a Washington DC license plate with the motto “Taxation without Representation”

I know it’s for their own Congressional voting rights or whatever. But it actually says a lot more than that. To me it says Washington DC REPRESENTS Taxation without Representation. Much like Idaho plates say Famous Potatoes because well…they grow a lot of ’em. Florida’s say The Sunshine State because well…plenty of sunshine in that state. Hawaii? Aloha State. Get it?

So see…Washington DC means TAXATION WITHOUT REPRESENTATION. Perfect. Because those unethical idiotic fools do not represent me. Especially the ones we have been repeatedly sending from this once great state of California.