a99kitten's Musings

Back to/still/always hating 2021. For many reasons. Some I’ve already written about and seems like stupid to repeat myself over and over.

I hate that my once peaceful haven of Truckee/Tahoe has been overrun with bay area transplants and vacationers (every day…must be nice to get those stimmys.) I hate you. All of you. I truly wish the ‘rona on you. Not even kidding. I truly think we are changed forever. And it wasn’t a gradual change that happens to society over years or even decades. It was a fucking Chinese fucking virus that fucking Democrats used for their own benefit. The same fear porn fucks who wears masks when alone in the car left the bay area or wherever shithole they come from to go to small towns and RUIN THEM FOREVER.

I hate that I cannot take a vacation (multiple reasons.) But I also hate that any place I would take a vacation has been overrun the same way we have. It frankly sounds sucky and not worth my time, stress or money. Will that ever change and go back to normal? Not this year – that is for sure.

I hate a lot of other things but never mind.

The thing I hate the most is that Smokey gets older every day right in front of me. It seems that this winter he just started aging daily. It makes me so sad. Happy that he seems happy with our walks, his treats, seeing his friends. But sad that he moves a lot slower, seems to get tired easily, not as excited about things.

I truly just hate 2021. I’ll take 2020 any day.

Just watched this past week’s Law & Order: SVU. All about a lady who blows a gasket during lockdowns. The main takeaway is that she ran a business, took care of her family, her customers, her employees, etc but never took care of herself. And she was sure that this is the way it should be. And that there is no one to take care of her – even for a little bit.

Life. That is my life. Has always been my life.

HIGHlariosly, 2 of Smokey’s neighborhood pals were both diagnosed with kennel cough this past week. So we can’t go see them because LOCKDOWN! Jeebus – even for dogs. The funny thing is, they are hanging out together, playing, families had dinner tonight – while both are “quarantined”. But I can’t take Smokey by – which is one of his favorite things – because of some bs virus. They sent me a pic saying we miss you. Oh. Ok. But I need to worry about him. Take care of him. He’s older – so not dealing with risk.

I’m sure I am not the only one feeling this way…still. Plenty of people out there in that same position/condition of sadness. Although I think more and more “seem” to be going back to normal-ish. But not me. Not because I have rona-fear, just what we are “allowed” to do is nothing I care to do. And the things I want to do – still in lockdown mode. And at this point, not leaving Smokey.

But at some point you are just tired. Not grab a gun like the lady in SVU tired because that seems (while understandable) a bit much. But tired. Every day.

2 true stories:

We lived in a suburb outside of Chicago when I was 9-10 yrs old. My dad owned several businesses that found people jobs – for a fee. Obvs, this is all pre-internet. #old

He had ins with local businesses, got listings, found people jobs. A lot of them. It’s actually a good thing.

He had an office on the south side of Chicago. This is and was a bad area. Not safe. Not safe for white people. Let’s face it – not safe for any people.

One day – a black man who did indeed find a job using my dad’s service, came in and said he should get a refund because it only took 1 day. My dad said no – that’s not how it worked.

That black man put a gun to my father’s head and said refund or he was dead.

My dad told him where the cash box was. The guy took all the cash – so not just his “refund” and left.

Criminal piece of shit.

Story 2:

My dad and another (white) guy who worked with him were driving to the same office on the south side of Chicago and were pulled over by 2 cops. 1 black and 1 white.

They told them to get out of the car – made them get on their knees on the side of the road while their guns were drawn.

They got their IDs, my dad proved he owned a business locally and were let go. The cops said – the only white people that come here are the ones that buy drugs or who came to look for trouble. So told them to leave.

My father helped a lot of black people find jobs. Yet he still had life threatened and could have died because of an asshole thieving black guy.

He also had his life threatened by cops and could have been shot by some trigger-happy cops BECAUSE HE WAS WHITE.

So fuck off with your white privilege.

Fuck off with your white guilt.

There are good people. There are bad people. Whether they are cops, doctors, grocery store clerks. Whether they are white, black, brown, yellow, purple with orange polka dots. Who knows. Fuck off with your racism. Fuck off with your systemic racism. Fuck off with your honoring fn criminals with murals with FUCKING ANGEL WINGS.

Just fuck off.

It seems like everyone I know is going on vacation. A little laughable since so many people are still pandemic paranoid, but obviously that doesn’t apply.

Disneyland, Disney World, Hawaii, road trips, Europe. Meanwhile, I’ll be here in Tahoe, where a bunch of people that are not my friends will be invading and vacationing (and annoying the ***mother fucking shit*** out of me.) While they are somehow still being paranoid about the pandemic.

I’m not vacationing not because I am pandemic paranoid. I’m actually pretty much not. Well…I assume every time you go someplace with a lot of people that you are exposing yourself to the filth of humanity. So it’s no different now to me. In fact, people & spaces might be a bit cleaner right now.

I’m not planning anything because I’m frankly too afraid that I will leave and Smokey will leave me. I have bad memories of being out and about and having fun one weekend day while Angelus got sick at home. And by pure happenstance, I decided to to go home and check on the buds before going off for a movie. And found him collapsing. So…not doing that to myself again. Smokey is 13 or 14 and moving a lot slower. He needs me home. And he was already super stressed when I’d leave so that is that.

No Cons to think about this year, so that’s good. I’ll get to Disneyland, or WDW, or Hawaii or wherever again sometime. And since I already hate 2021 as it is, I guess I can continue to hate it. But I will not lie, it’s making me a bit sad – but I think mostly because of WHY I won’t go versus actually not going. Once again I say, I preferred 2020. And it’s only April 16th.

I prefer 2020 over 2021 so far.

We had more snow. A lot more snow. That meant no/better drought conditions. That mean better for fire season. Pretty much over CA and over fire season.

Smokey was a year younger. I worried about him a little less.

The market was fun to play in.

Humans came together. For a few weeks anyway. We were “in this together.” For a few weeks anyway.

We couldn’t travel. Well, I’m still not interested in traveling.

We couldn’t gather. Still not really gathering.

Yeah…I liked 2020 more. We had hope things would get better. Now I just assume they will stay like this. Or get worse. Fuck 2021.

I have spent about 90% of my adult working life making sure any and all employees of where I worked had the best possible health insurance possible. Not just some coverage – but low deductible, PPO, excellent network, employer-paid premiums plus spouse, family AND domestic partner before that was even a thing or before most companies even thought about it let alone offered it. Even when the CEO/MGP of the company wasn’t so sure on the expense of it all – I lobbied and won. Always.

Let’s face it – HR works for the company. Yes – in support of the employees, but at the end of the day, HR will side with the company. As they should. I am not a fn union leader.

But I **ALWAYS** looked for the best option for the employee because that helped the company.

So I guess it is only fitting that as my Federal COBRA is expiring, I find out that the new health plan my old company switched to is a plan that will not support conversion to individual plans. Now…that’s not their job. I get it. But ironic nonetheless. So the plan I now will sign up for is 50% more expensive than my COBRA was and also offers about 50% of the benefits. THANK YOU OBAMA. I HOPE YOU CHOKE.

There are other FN ridiculous components to this such as other ex-employees being offered better options, but I guess whatever. I am too tired to type. I’d rather watch an episode of TV or read. Clear my brain.

So I will continue to be angry. Until I decide to vent more. Or just stew.

This week is the one year anniversary of the market melting down due to the rona. Or more accurately, the media and politicians’ reaction to the rona. March 18th was the low I believe and we struggled a but but DID continue to go up from there.

I did well in my accounts over the year. Although I think a blind chimp did well in his/hr accounts this past year. People who never invested before in their lives made money in their newly opened Robinhood accounts.

Altho, this past month – meh. Not sure how those same RHers have done in this chop. Or if they gave any thought to their tax implications due soon. Surprise!

Biden has been a pile to stinky crap for the market. Certainly cannot lay all the blame at his feet (although since Libs liked to do that with Trump – I’ll go ahead.) But not knowing what the tax issues will be (though we all know they will raise taxes so F Biden), the still inconsistent state reopening issues, etc. has been a giant pile of suck.

I mean – what good is a vaccine if we all still have to wear masks everywhere? HOW STUPID IS THAT? If I still have to wear a mask, you can keep your vaccine. F off.

Seriously considering cashing up a lot and waiting out the next month or quarter or even through summer. Do small trades, or maybe add to long term positions but this chop fest over the last 4-6 weeks has been sucky.

Trading was fun this past year. Even on the stressful, down days – it had a better feel to it. Hopeful to get out of the “pandemic”. But now that we got to the near-end – a vaccine – the magic jab! – it’s still crap. Actually – worse crap. Biden is not hopeful. Biden is not Presidential. So we have no optimism in our leadership. That’s pretty suck. And please do not get me started on Gavin.

These past 2 months have really been not fun. Even on the good days with good trades – always the feeling in the back of my head of “how fast will this turn?” And in a period of time where we are enforced to not have fun, that really sucks.

Once this quarter ends, let’s see if things turn around a bit. But I have to say – I do not think it will. Eventually. But not yet.

F Biden. F China.

I love the idea of Bitcoin/cryptocurrency. LOVE it. Mostly because I love the idea of keeping big government out of anything and everything.

Does that mean I don’t believe oversight is needed? No. While I hate big government, I am also well aware that humans are retarded and most of them require supervision. That pretty destroys the ideals of Libertarians. You need common sense and decency for it to work. Sadly…that is not common.

I started buying crypto in 2016. I bought a Ledger Nano to store it on. The whole idea of cold storage was you keep it it a drawer (or fire-proof safe) and it was safe from hackers, government, etc. Sure. Sounds great. Crypto was finance embracing technology. Store your money *on* tech.

I take it out and check it every few months. Every single time there is some update that takes forever and I always wonder what if this thing just dies? It’s electronic – of course it will. That’s the nature of tech – you need the new upgrade every 2 years. Just ask Apple.

But the reviews for Ledger are always good. And I have my root words stored away. Because NOTHING says top tier, cutting edge technolgy and the future of money than having to keep your recovery words stored on a FN piece of paper someplace so it can’t be hacked. Sigh.

Today – open up Nano S. Move my ETC because I want to sell it. Get rid of shitcoins. Well – that transaction still shows pending after 8 hours. Fun times.

Also want to move some LTC. Decide to sell some to buy other crypto. LTC is a shifty crypto at best. Move some. THEN Ledger says I need to download/install their update to complete moving. Huh? Fine. Quick download/install. Plug Nano back in – the screen that you need to enter your passcode. Black. WTF? Then it comes back in spotty illuminated fashion – I am able to see it just enough to enter my passcode. After that screen – the illumination is JUST FINE. Only the most important passcode section is basically dead AFTER THE LEDGE UPGRADE. I try to complete the transaction but it says “OH IT MIGHT HAVE FAILED TRY AGAIN.” When I try – the passcode screen – black. DED.

Go online – search for issues about this. Yep – dead. You can order a new wallet. Or use an online one to recover your crypto BUT (and all warnings were strong and in capital letters) if you use an online wallet, you will need to enter your recovery words and they can be stolen, hacked, don’t trust the web, don’t trust online, don’t trust your computer – use a computer you only use or this!, etc etc etc.

So I need to order a new unit (which I did), or use an online wallet, to recover my money sitting in the ether USING MY PIECE OF PAPER WITH MY RECOVERY WORDS ON IT WITH MY PENCIL. Stored in the real world. Kind of like…my $20 bills would be….

You know….gonna start hoarding gold coins. F it.

So…it’s BAD to say China Flu. It’s BAD to say Wuhan Flu. This is per the media (who used both terms until Orange Man used them) and our new President.

BUT saying the UK Variant, the Brazilian variant or the South African Variant is 100% completely OK.

Huh? #middlefinger

I just now fully realized that this will be the first Superbowl Sunday that I will not host a party in years. Like…probably more than a decade.

That sucks.

I know I could invite some neighbors/friends and they would come. But honestly, I do NOT want to be the site of patient zero.

So…quadruple sucks. :(