a99kitten's Musings

This morning on our walk, we came to a point where we could turn and go back to the bluffs we did yesterday (where Storm was attacked) or the other way towards the harbor. Storm always wants to go towards the harbor. That’s his routine. Storm is very much a creature of routine. He does not like when the routine is disrupted. He’s quite funny that way :) Plus, whenever he starts out on his walk he is on a mission. He walks with purpose. Go, go and go. Angelus likes to take his time to stop and smell the roses (and pee on them if he can ;) )

Depending on what direction we leave the house, which streets we take, he knows what the walk will be and does not allow deviations without an argument (he stares at me with a HMPH! look.) So the particular way we went this morning left us with really only one option which was the harbor….in Storm’s mind…usually. We crossed Highway 1 and where we could turn right to go to the harbor, Storm takes an immediate left. This would take us right to the bluffs. This is not the way we go when we want to go to the bluffs. In fact, he usually starts pulling/veering right before we’ve even finished crossing the highway to go towards the harbor. That is his routine. Right turn here Mom.

But not this morning. This morning he knew exactly where he wanted to go. He decided he was going back to the bluffs to find that little putz who attacked him yesterday morning. When I said “Storm – this way”. He just stood there and stared at me, tail high in the air like “I’m ready.” He looked over to the bluffs and back to me. Like “Come on Mom. Let’s go find that jerk for some husky payback.” I said “Come on buddy – let’s go to the harbor beach. That little dog is too scared to come back here and meet you guys again.” He looked back a final time and seemed to get that and pranced right over and started his march towards the harbor.

I think he’s doing OK :)

This morning on our walk, the huskies were attacked. We were walking on the bluffs since it was high tide and half of the beach literally had no beach. There was a section near the end that still had some sand and we saw a dog running around down there chasing a stick. We continued walking along the bluff and all of a sudden I hear the lady scream after her dog and the f***** shoots up – he ran straight up the cliff – and attacks Storm. Admittedly, this surprised me and freaked me out a bit. What I should have done was kick the jackass back down the cliff.

Storm’s cancer medicine is working at a cellular level to not allow the cancer cells to grow. But due to this, all cell growth is slowed down, not just cancer cells. So he is not supposed to get injured. Because of this, I don’t take him to dog parks anymore. He is only allowed to play with dogs he already knows and gets along with. Can something out of the ordinary or an accident happen? Of course. But I need to control the environment and situations as much as I can. Of course I wasn’t thinking this little bastard was going to come tearing up the cliff to attack my dogs for no reason whatsoever. This is literally a straight up cliff of rocks and sand.

Both huskies stepped in front of me and the other dog launched at Storm. I dropped both leashes since if they need to defend themselves, they don’t need me holding them back. Once I saw the dog up close, he looked just like a Jack Russel but bigger. He was about 3/4 the size of Storm. But a savage snarling one. I reached in and pulled him off Storm. He was still snarling and trying to bite Storm and me and Angelus just got in his way and engaged him as I checked on Storm who was bleeding and wanting to get back into the brawl.

In this same 2 minutes, to her credit, the lady pulled herself up the cliff to get her dog. So at least she wasn’t one of those helpless people who just stands there. She grabbed her dog away from Angelus who I pulled back over to me now that her dog was under control. She was very sorry, blah blah and the first thing she said was the standard “he has never done anything like that before.” All dogs who attack other dogs have apparently never done it before. Rather amazing.

Now, I know she didn’t expect it to happen anymore than I did, and she was clearly upset as well, but then she adds how she won’t bring him to the beach anymore and stick to the dog park. And I’m thinking, the problem wasn’t that he ran up the cliff. The problem was that he a) didn’t listen to you to not run up the cliff and b) attacked another dog rather viciously. If he is off-leash at the dog park, same difference. That’s the issue you need to work on.

I do not understand how you don’t know your dog’s personality. I know what dogs or situations will set the buds off. And I also know when they can be off-leash or not. Now, I’m sure the lady didn’t expect her dog to scale a cliff, but what if we were just walking on the beach? I find it hard to believe the dog would have reacted any differently. But she was at least mortified and apologetic. I’ve had people get pissy and angry when THEIR dogs run up and attack mine. Wha? You mean you know you are in the wrong so your first reaction is to be a jerk as a defense mechanism and to put people off and frighten them. However, you will just agitate me and I will yell at you. But this woman wasn’t like that at all.

Storm was bleeding by his right eye. Like – so, so close to his eye that I am very thankful it was not his eyeball as it easily could have been. He seemed fine on the rest of the walk home. He sniffed and peed on stuff like normal. And when we came across his little dog friend Bear, he still wanted to stop and say hi. But I did cut the walk short and brought him straight home instead of a longer beach walk so Angelus got cheesed this morning. But Angelus was a great big brother and charged in and defended him and then came over and checked on him when it was over. He was pretty sweet. And hopefully I can get husband to take him to Maverick’s or somewhere for some beach fun.

Got Stormy home and I cleaned his eye area with some antibiotic wash and it looks like a small hole but doesn’t seem too deep, so hopefully not a big deal. I’ll need to keep an eye on it to make sure it heals normally. He got a cookie and a chicken breast Happy Hip treat when we finished cleaning his eye, so he liked that. The little guy is an amazingly good patient. Such a good boy. He’s resting out on the deck and I’m watching him clean himself, so he seems ok if a little subdued. But he gets his feelings hurt when dogs attack him or are mean to him. It’s kind of funny but you can definitely see how he seems sad after any kind of altercation or even a snarly, leashed dog. He just wants everyone to be friendly. He doesn’t need to be sad or stressed out. He needs happy time.

And I think I need a drink to calm my nerves. 10am on a Sunday seems late enough for that, right?

Weekends mean I try to cook something new. I also bought some ahi for searing but will do that tomorrow since I had sushi for dinner last night and earlier this week and then for lunch again today! LOVE TUNA!

I found this recipe online. Sadly I didn’t note which site, epicurious.com or Rachel Ray I think? But not swearing to it. But I definitely did not make it up myself.

Ingredients:
1 tablespoon Extra Virgin olive oil
2 tablespoons butter
1 lb white mushrooms – sliced thin 2 tablespoons fresh thyme – finely chopped
1 large shallot – finely chopped
3 to 4 large cloves of garlic – finely chopped
1/4 cup marsala
1 cup cream
1 cup frozen peas – defrosted
1 lb egg tagliatelle or similar egg noodles
salt and pepper
nutmeg to taste

Prep:
Bring a large pot of water to boil for pasta

Heat olive oil and butter in a large skillet over medium heat. Add mushrooms and thyme and cook to tender, stirring occasionally, until lightly browned. About 10-12 mins. Season mushrooms with salt and pepper and add shallots and garlic. Saute another 4-5 mins. and then deglaze plan with the marsala. Stir in cream and bring to bubble then reduce heat to low and simmer. Season with nutmeg. When the pasta is just about done, turn off heat and stir in cheese. Cover and reserve.

Cool pasta to al dente. Reserve 1/2 – 1 cup of the starchy liquid from the pasta, then drain pasta and return to hot pot and add peas. Add 1/2 cup of the cooking liquid and the mushroom sauce and toss 1-2 minutes. Add more water as necessary to coat pasta evenly. Serve.

Yum :)

I added more sea salt and pepper at the end. But I could eat a salt lick with every meal so just season to your taste. I also think some chicken would really add to it, which I will try next time. But quite delicious! Will make again for sure!

http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/final-difficult-days-brittany-murphy-70059

This is a sad story. But it also makes me angry because it was easily preventable. As was my brother’s death. People think they can take any number of OTC or prescription medications and there is no problem with it because they are prescribed by a doctor or sold in a drugstore so they must be safe, right?

Wrong.

My brother was prescribed over 5 different daily medications by his 1 doctor. He told his doctor that he didn’t want so many and wanted to be weaned off them all because of how they made him feel and he didn’t need them. The doctor scoffed. This doctor saw my brother for maybe 10 minutes each month and then handed him his scrips for refill. Clearly he was very interested in helping him. My brother had made a request to change doctors (was on state medical assistance so needed to go through bureaucratic channels to approve the change) the week prior to his death. My brother should have never been on any of these (he was put on them in drug rehab…awesome therapy.)

Both my brother and his fiancee told me how when he would go in for his appointment and be in the waiting room, the receptionist (clearly with a medical degree of some kind I’m sure) would offer him free samples of the latest and greatest crap they were pushing. Wait? To mix with my other prescriptions he would ask? Oh – it didn’t matter was the response. Just give them a try. What??? And they would offer them to his fiancee too – who was NOT a patient. She gave me the bag of his pill bottles. Yep – all the same doctor. All prescribed on the same date.

I hate psychiatrists. They are a joke. And I hate their drugs. I will never, ever change my mind that they killed my brother. Who did take them as prescribed and didn’t abuse or doctor shop like half of Hollywood (and I’m sure a whole bunch of regular folk) seems to. Go ahead and call me irresponsible for saying it as a blanket statement. Call me Tom Cruise, I don’t care.

Any therapist who isn’t there to listen to your issues and talk you through and help you understand your problems and how to deal with them but writes you a prescription instead doesn’t care about helping you. Just take the edge off. Get you in and out, bill you and see you next month for your new prescription which is a HUGE business. In an annual physical, when I mentioned my heart racing to the doctor, she said it was anxiety. I told her she wrong. She offered to write me a prescription for some psych crap. I told her to take a hike and left. When my heart thing occurred again, and I saw a cardiac specialist, when I told him that, he said that doctor is a disgrace and should have her license taken away (Stanford grad mind you) since I had an actual (very minor) physical heart condition. So she made her 100% incorrect diagnosis and was willing to give me drugs based on 1 comment that I made and 10 minutes of her seeing me. Sounds about right.

These drugs are far more dangerous than illegal street drugs. They are dangerous because people have this weird trust in them. You do heroin, you know there is a possibility of an OD. Too much crack? Probably a very bad thing. But these – these are safe right? They were approved by the FDA. Pfft.

“The irony, Simon insisted, was that Brittany literally could not do drugs. In her early teens, she had been diagnosed with a heart murmur, so Brittany knew illegal drugs could endanger her life. That fear, Sharon said, that made it impossible for Brittany to use cocaine or stimulants.”

“She took the antibiotic Biaxin, migraine pills, cough medicine and an over-the-counter nasal spray. The day she died, she had also taken an anti-depression drug (fluoxetine, aka Prozac), an anti-seizure drug (Klonopin), an anti-inflammatory (methylprednisolone) and a beta blocker that Simon gave her, as well as Vicoprofen to ease pain from her period. But Brittany kept getting sicker, and her laryngitis during her final 10 days was the worst of her life. She was also weakened by her period — the second in a month — which was causing anemia that cut her red-blood count to a quarter of normal.”

What person takes all of the above and doesn’t think there might be an issue with it?? And one could say “Oh, that was her fault for taking so many without a doctor’s advice.” Well, that is true. Very true. Everyone is responsible for the decisions they make. But then, my brother had 5 different daily medications – all from his one and only doctor. A doctor he asked to be weaned off the meds. And he died of drug toxicity. He probably assumed his doctor knew what he was doing to some degree though. Wrong.

The police officer I spoke with about my brother (in order to get an autopsy, I had to start a police report for the ME to step in) said that they don’t get many calls for ODs on narcotics anymore except for street people. But tons and tons for ODs due to medications. Kids take their parents, people buy them off the street, they trade them, or they are improperly and overly prescribed. She said they refer to the various doctors and hospitals around there as candy stores. Nice.

Might there be a good doctor out there who really wants to help people? Sure, I’m sure there is. But that doctor probably isn’t peddling a bunch of drugs as the cure. And people need to start realizing popping a pill isn’t the cure. It’s simply a mask at best.  A band-aid. People can’t sleep. Take Ambien! That will fix it! No – you have an issue that is causing you not to sleep. That’s the problem you should be addressing.  I’m sad – take an upper. I can’t concentrate – take some ADHD meds. I’m “manic” – take a mood stabilizer. Doctors prescribe anti-depressants to some people to quit smoking. WHAT?! Why?? What the hell is wrong with people that they view this as acceptable? Just drug yourself. That doesn’t actually fix anything but who cares. And guaranteed – you will need something else, and then something else. And soon you will have a bathroom cabinet full of crap too.

Read Carrie Fisher’s “Wishful Drinking” or watch the HBO special. She is an incredibly talented writer. And funny as hell. She’s Princess Leia for cryin’ out loud. But it’s frightening to me too. And she doesn’t just medicate, she’s had electric-shock therapy.  That’s a whole other level of scary.  But then this is the same profession who brought us LSD and lobotomies. *thumbs up*

It shocks me when I find out people I know are taking this crap for whatever “ails” them. I see people tweet all the time about their meds. A Lot. WTH. But a drugged society is a quiet and complacent society I suppose.

I think this entire profession is a joke. Always will. And when I read more and more stories like this, I truly hope others will too. Sadly, most will probably just look at the obvious villain (the husband was quite the jackass) and blame it all on him. But he had quite a bit of help.

I finally watched Inception over my Christmas vacation. A good movie. Very cool concept/story, well acted and super coolio effects. Not to spoil the end for anyone who hasn’t seen it, but I like to think: real.

But I think the thing I noticed and appreciated the most was that everyone was so well-dressed. I have to say, men look very nice when they are well-dressed. Suits, ties, vests, suspenders, french cuffs (BIG fan), etc. Yeah…I have to say it is my favorite look for men. I’m not saying they have to dress like Gordon Gekko all the time but it sure does look nice when they do :)

More people should simply dress better. And burn their pants with Juicy or Pink written on their butts, or even worse, with Ed Hardy designs all over them. Hate the slovenly look that is so prevalent now. That’s fine when you are at home, or exercising or a quick run to the grocery store. But not fine for out and about. Tacky. Pajama bottoms, a wife-beater and UGGs? I wear that at home. Comfy for sure. But come on. Out in public? It seems people just don’t care how they look anymore. Which I’d prefer to think over the idea that they actually think they look good when dressed in clothes that belong at home in bed, hang off their ass, squeeze their fat like a sausage casing or in some garish outfit one could only assume they picked up at the flea market as a joke.

I’m not saying you have to dress UP all the time. You can dress casually while still looking put together and presentable. And please, dressing for your age doesn’t mean you are old. It simply means you are not trying to desperately hang on to your youth via dressing from Forever 21. You will not be forever 21 physically (and hopefully mentally.) Get over it. 21 year-olds are generally kind of dumb anyway. Think back…you know it’s true.

Look at the pictures of some famous people – Sandra Bullock, Kate Winslet, Jennifer Aniston, Cate Blanchett, Taylor Swift, Reese Witherspoon. Different age brackets but they all dress well whether dressy or casual. But then look at Dina or Lindsay Lohan. Or Hulk Hogan’s ex-wife or daughter. Or *cringe* Paris Hilton or the cast from Jersey Shore. Money can’t buy class, but it should be able to buy decent clothes for crying out loud.

Go watch Inception and then maybe throw in Clueless to help get a clue. As Cher (in Clueless, not the frightening and garishly dressed singer) said…”So, OK. I don’t want to be a traitor to my generation and all, but I don’t get how guys dress today. I mean, c’mon, it looks like they just fell out of bed and put on some baggy pants, and take their greasy hair, Ew! And cover it up with a backwards cap and like, we’re expected to swoon? I don’t think so!”

Two months isn’t really any easier than one month was. Find myself sad before I even realize the date. Maybe it never gets easier. Or better. Or less sad. Maybe you just get used to it. Awesome.

I have proven to myself what I have always known. That I am not really the talk it out, share my feelings kind of girl. I will talk about stuff. And share. To some top-level degree. But never all of what I am feeling or thinking. Move on. Rub some dirt on it. Just say it’s all OK and push through. Eventually it will be. Close enough anyway. But that quality is also what makes me who I am I suppose. I don’t wallow in stuff. I can’t allow it to shut me in. It might slowly kill a part of me inside, but I will get everything done that needs to be done and go on. I might finally break down and cry every once in awhile, but I will not let it stop me from doing what has to be done. Whatever “that” is at the time…work, life, etc.

Not sure if that is “healthy” but the idea of “talking about my feelings” or “how I am feeling/doing” makes me cringe. When people ask, I say fine. What else am I going to say? “Oh, last night I had a complete meltdown with no discernible trigger and cried my eyes out. How are you?” No one really wants to to hear bad or sad stuff anyway. Who wants that? I guess that’s why people pay a lot of money to therapists, they get paid. A lot. To listen to you babble on about your feelings.

I was asked this week if I thought I was an angry or upset person. The question took me a bit my surprise and I was a somewhat insulted by it actually since I have never, ever considered myself that. Quite the opposite really. I’ve stayed pretty damn positive and upbeat though a lot of crap. IMO. (then again crazy people never think they are crazy…)

Do I ever get angry or upset? Of course. But I usually just go rant about something and blow off the steam and it’s done. Isn’t that what you are supposed to do? People who say they never get angry or upset or argue or disagree (or refuse to get that way) are asking for a serial killer moment. Or just lying to themselves. So yes – I am still sad. I think I will be for a long time. I lost my little brother. The only family I was ever really super-duper close to. I think it’s my right to be sad.

But I guess that one question proves that people generally just don’t know me that well. C’est la vie.

Oh J Crew…I really should just own some of your stock…

Wore these today. Loving them. I have always hated the idea of the “bootie” but have to admit that these are good for cold days when boots are good but your pants don’t allow for tall boots. Plus they are a fantastic shade of distressed brown.

I really want these, and now they are on sale….but when will I wear them…really? Wear with pants and you don’t see the coolness of them. But I cannot imagine choosing to wear them with skirts over my various other tall black boots due to their height (mid-calf?). But maybe? With cool tights? Hmmm…

I bought these but sadly had to return them. They looked so perfect in the catalog and could imagine them with a cool pencil skirt and crisp blouse. A bit Emma Peel-ish I thought :) They were gorgeous and the leather was awesome (plus they have a KITTEN heel) but the leather was so soft, they slouched at the ankle – boo. Great style, but needed to be a bit tighter around calf/ankle. Too bad – very cute boots. Anyone with bigger calves could probably make them work.

I would still love a pair of high heeled tall boots in a rich, cognac color. But I haven’t found any that I love that aren’t made in China. I love that J Crew has their shoes/boots made in Italy and NOT China.

So instead of a fantastic pair of cognac boots, I have been investing my money in my stock account. Silly rabbit….although I was up 26% on the year in my stock account (with NO retail stocks…well…not counting TIF) so I think still a fairly decent decision going forward. But maybe a little bit on the boots if I find the right pair :)

Nifty! I wish this fit my Kindle. But alas…I have the *old* one (you know, the Kindle 2 from waaaay back in 2009.)

My favorite X-Men storyline!!! Now if only the Kindle was a comic book reader too (hint…hint Amazon.)

But I do love the graphite color of the new Kindle. And it seems even smaller than mine! But I do NOT need to replace mine – it’s perfectly fine. This is what drives me crazy about electronic gadgets!

Maybe next version :)

and then later…

I like the fact that as I posted these to Facebook, I had Buffy playing….some eps with Angel/Angelus in them :)

Today is New Year’s Eve. The day/night before we start the calendar all over again. And when most people swear they will do things differently. Most never do. But hope is always eternal. Personally, this year can be over, done with and gone. Goodbye 2010. See ya. Don’t let the door hit you in the arse on the way out. Good riddance to ya (said with my 25% Irish brogue.)

12/31 was also my Mom’s birthday. She kinda hated that since it was so close to Christmas plus a holiday on its own. But did acknowledge it guaranteed she got a party to go to every year. She passed away a few years back but I always remember her drinking her Bailey’s or Irish Coffee (the only alcohol she would ever drink were those 2 and only around Christmas and New Years/her birthday.) Happy Birthday Mom. I do miss you. But probably best you left first.

Today is also the day we picked up my 2000 Christmas present, Angelus:

me and Angelus :)

I believe I blogged last year about the trip to get him and his first weekend with his new family. I have always kinda-sorta considered this to be like his birthday since it is when he came into my life. His actual birthday is 11/7 and we have celebrated that as his birthday but that is also the day my brother actually left me this year so I think 12/31 will stay Angelus’ birthday for me. He deserves a purely 100% happy day :)

And to celebrate his birthday this year, the weather Dogs (see what I did there?) gave us a lot of snow leading up it and then blessed him with a temperature fit only for huskies! The low this morning was 2. We went out after it had warmed up to 2.8. When I first looked at the temp, I thought it said 28. I thought to myself “wow that’s warm for so early in the morning.” Yeah…

Stormy decided it was too cold for his partial nakedness after a little while so we brought him back and then Angelus and I went back out. He was so happy. He is truly geared to be a cold-weather mountain dog. We found a trail that some snowboarders created and off we went! Mom (that’s me) started to lose a bit of feeling in her toes and fingers so we did go back after an hour. I told him we would go back out when it warmed up to double digits – like 10 degrees or something!

So happy birthday/welcome to my life day to my first-born awesome best black & white pal husky!! Also, more snow is coming tonight, tomorrow and Sunday so he will be stretching this birthday celebration out :)

This was him this morning after we got back from our walk and I left him off-leash once we got to our easement road. He took off to the neighbor’s driveway and ran around in the snow. I missed capturing that fun run since I had my big gloves on and iPhones don’t do well with gloves. He made it clear he wasn’t quite ready to go back inside!