a99kitten's Musings

Being nice is the literally the stupidest thing you can do. Be. You instantly make yourself a fn sucker.

Not saying be mean. Be indifferent. Do not trust. Understand that the other side of your interaction is someone looking for out for #1. Trusting people that are not your closest, dearest friends marks you as a huge sucker. And even those people are sketchy at best.

Look out for you. Period. No one else really is. Even if they say they are, it’s only because they are not being tested at that point.

As Fox Mulder said, Trust No One.

…it’s worse.

Obviously it’s been a weird year for just about everyone. Well, not politicians, celebrities and uber rich who just do what they want – probably been fine for them other than having to pretend it’s not for us plebs.

I started day trading last February. Like every day, all day. It was fun. Kept my mind off anything else going on. It was good. Made money, stayed busy, was addicted to it. Loved it. Basically – traded and hiked Smokey. And perfectly happy with that being my day.

This year – with our new President (F Biden) and things are different – the market has sucked. Good January – suck February. Super Suck March. And April looks not too much better. So I’ve traded less. A lot less. As a result, I think I’ve realized the world sucks. I mean – I always knew humans suck. But now – everything does. But I have no idea when I can go to Hawaii, or Disney World or anywhere besides the forest without a mask. And simply not interested in going to those places while wearing a fucking mask. Seriously – FUCK CHINA. And fuck humans. And fuck our government.

Smokey is older now. We still go for long walks but not like we used to. So I can’t fill my time with that. Not like I can take him out for a 5 hour hike. We do spend a lot of time outside but I won’t make him go more than I can tell he is comfortable with. Some days 8 miles, some days 3 miles. Although it still has more to do with heat and how hot he gets – thanks Mother Nature (fuck you and your bullshit winter.)

Then throw in the fact that the bay area has invaded my small town. It’s always crowded. Always. And there is garbage and dog poop on the trails where there NEVER was any EXCEPT on holiday week when FN TOURISTS were here. And speeders through my neighborhood ALL THE TIME. I almost got into a fist fight with this fn asshole who was speeding in his Tesla up my street. I hope he choked to death in his sleep. If not yet, I will continue to pray for it.

So I am now angry. Every day. Not all day – if all day I probably would have stabbed someone by now. But it’s still not normal for me. And I hate it. But I literally see no end to it. And that sucks.

Some days the only person you have in your life has 4 paws.

I always loved Easter as a kid. Not just because of candy – I loved the colors, Easter egg hunts, the bunny, family meals together with a little less stress than Christmas I guess? Scalloped potatoes and deviled eggs. Mmmm. Also, probably where my love of pastels came from lol.

Did not grow up with Easter as a religious holiday. I do recall Easter at my grandparents, church in the AM, egg hunt in their yard and a lot of food! But the religious part was not a part of my life really. But respect for those that do. And have a supreme annoyance for people that curse on or around Easter. Like…I want to throat punch you.

This year Easter was odd though. Didn’t do anything with anyone. Sent Easter baskets out because who doesn’t love Easter baskets? I guess they were enjoyed but didn’t back on Easter. No Easter greetings from anyone except my neighbors. Thank goodness for good neighbors.

Was nice to have a 3-day weekend though. Considering I am “retired” from work, you’d think I’d have 7-day weekends but I trade daily so I like to stress myself out…clearly. But this was a nice brain break. Did a TON of spring cleaning. Although not as much as I wanted (as my TODO list would attest) since Smokey would just follow me around and I wanted him to relax. But did get a lot done.

But I tried to do most in/around the first floor so Smokey would not follow me too much. He wants to do these long walks – which makes me happy. But then I think he gets very tired. Or hot. Likely both. Plus he has not eaten for 2 days. He has eaten his treats – just not his regular food. I know it has warmed up all of a sudden this week from a high of low 40s to 60s. And his body does not regulate heat well (me either pal.) I have this this same stress for the past few years at this same time. But as he gets older, I stress more. Sadly, our winter is done. It’s supposed to a be a touch cooler this week – in the low 50s instead of 60s. But seriously FU MOTHER NATURE. There are already fires in So Cal. In April. FUCK YOU. FUK U. FU. I will curse you. This is BS.

Anyway, I made him 3 chicken breasts tonight thinking he’d eat a little but he gobbled them all up! ALL of it. OK. That made me happy. So we will see tomorrow if he wants more fresh chicken, or his fresh food or what.

Tomorrow starts a new week. And really month and quarter. I might start trading a lot less to spend with Smokey and diddle around with my house projects. We will see.

Did another 2+ hour walk this AM with Smokey. We go as far as we used to but now a bit slower so more time outside. But I think that is totally OK as he loves being outside. As long as we are not hot. As the sun rises earlier, we will get out earlier but the sun bakes us both.

I dd a lot of work today so was sitting on computer for a chunk of time – like a normal Friday vs a “holiday”. But every time I get up to do chores, etc Smokey gets up too so his naps get interrupted.

Took him to the beach around 3pm for his afternoon walk since it’s too warm this week for neighborhood walks. I hate spring and summer. Hate.

He had fun. We met some other buddies, sniffed lots of stuff, peed on lots of stuff (well..he did lol.) But you could tell he was tired. I cut it shorter than usual. Since we’ve been home he ate 1 treat, but not his normal evening treat “routine”and he ignored his dinner. He does this when hot and/or tired. Completely normal. But I also know he is getting older by the day. He did act this exact same way last year, and the year before, when we switched from winter to spring weather – he just gets hot fast. I do too so I understand. But he can’t take off his winter coat.

He’s sleeping now. Snoring actually :) Senior dogs need more sleep. But they also need their walks, their routine, less stress and things to stimulate them mentally. I think we do a good job on all of those. But I cannot stop checking on him every few minutes to make sure he is all A-OK.

It’s not fair they don’t live longer.

FB just suggested that I follow my ex-husband’s high school, skanky, ex-stripper girlfriend.

I wonder if she gets the same suggestion. LoL. That’s hysterical.

I guess I can relax a touch about Skynet taking over the world just yet.

Yesterday was “National Puppy Day” which is really just a reason to post cute pics of puppies on social media. Not that there is anything wrong with that.

I found one of my favorites of Angelus and Storm and posted it. Along with Smokey and Shadow pics. Sucks that I do not have puppy pics of them. I’m sure both of them were truly adorable. Shadow was probably like a baby velociraptor. lol. Smokey – a baby direwolf.

This AM on our walk, Smokey was walking along and all of a sudden his back legs started kind of walking sideways. I stopped him and we just rested a minute. We started walking again and it happened again. I could see the stress in his eyes of not knowing what was happening. We rested again. Then we saw his nemesis in the neighborhood – great. Cannot show weakness around that fucker or his human. Smokey got really low and hackled as we went by – more so than usual. We hate those guys. We went by and I praised him and gave him treats.

But then he was fine. I made him walk slow. Stop and sniff everything. Lots of treats. But thankfully no other “episodes”. The rest of the day, he was fine. I watched him like a hawk. He ate his breakfast. His treats. We went on a nice afternoon beach walk. Ate his dinner, his treats, etc. All fine and normal.

Could be his “old dog syndrome” returned for minute. I know he is getting older by the day – sadly even older faster than us humans. But he ate fine, drank his water, had good poops, was happy to see new pals on the beach, sniffed lots of stuff, and buried 1 of dinner treats in the deck snow. Now he is sleeping.

I can only hope he stays healthy. And happy. For as long as nature allows.

This week is the one year anniversary of the market melting down due to the rona. Or more accurately, the media and politicians’ reaction to the rona. March 18th was the low I believe and we struggled a but but DID continue to go up from there.

I did well in my accounts over the year. Although I think a blind chimp did well in his/hr accounts this past year. People who never invested before in their lives made money in their newly opened Robinhood accounts.

Altho, this past month – meh. Not sure how those same RHers have done in this chop. Or if they gave any thought to their tax implications due soon. Surprise!

Biden has been a pile to stinky crap for the market. Certainly cannot lay all the blame at his feet (although since Libs liked to do that with Trump – I’ll go ahead.) But not knowing what the tax issues will be (though we all know they will raise taxes so F Biden), the still inconsistent state reopening issues, etc. has been a giant pile of suck.

I mean – what good is a vaccine if we all still have to wear masks everywhere? HOW STUPID IS THAT? If I still have to wear a mask, you can keep your vaccine. F off.

Seriously considering cashing up a lot and waiting out the next month or quarter or even through summer. Do small trades, or maybe add to long term positions but this chop fest over the last 4-6 weeks has been sucky.

Trading was fun this past year. Even on the stressful, down days – it had a better feel to it. Hopeful to get out of the “pandemic”. But now that we got to the near-end – a vaccine – the magic jab! – it’s still crap. Actually – worse crap. Biden is not hopeful. Biden is not Presidential. So we have no optimism in our leadership. That’s pretty suck. And please do not get me started on Gavin.

These past 2 months have really been not fun. Even on the good days with good trades – always the feeling in the back of my head of “how fast will this turn?” And in a period of time where we are enforced to not have fun, that really sucks.

Once this quarter ends, let’s see if things turn around a bit. But I have to say – I do not think it will. Eventually. But not yet.

F Biden. F China.

I love the idea of Bitcoin/cryptocurrency. LOVE it. Mostly because I love the idea of keeping big government out of anything and everything.

Does that mean I don’t believe oversight is needed? No. While I hate big government, I am also well aware that humans are retarded and most of them require supervision. That pretty destroys the ideals of Libertarians. You need common sense and decency for it to work. Sadly…that is not common.

I started buying crypto in 2016. I bought a Ledger Nano to store it on. The whole idea of cold storage was you keep it it a drawer (or fire-proof safe) and it was safe from hackers, government, etc. Sure. Sounds great. Crypto was finance embracing technology. Store your money *on* tech.

I take it out and check it every few months. Every single time there is some update that takes forever and I always wonder what if this thing just dies? It’s electronic – of course it will. That’s the nature of tech – you need the new upgrade every 2 years. Just ask Apple.

But the reviews for Ledger are always good. And I have my root words stored away. Because NOTHING says top tier, cutting edge technolgy and the future of money than having to keep your recovery words stored on a FN piece of paper someplace so it can’t be hacked. Sigh.

Today – open up Nano S. Move my ETC because I want to sell it. Get rid of shitcoins. Well – that transaction still shows pending after 8 hours. Fun times.

Also want to move some LTC. Decide to sell some to buy other crypto. LTC is a shifty crypto at best. Move some. THEN Ledger says I need to download/install their update to complete moving. Huh? Fine. Quick download/install. Plug Nano back in – the screen that you need to enter your passcode. Black. WTF? Then it comes back in spotty illuminated fashion – I am able to see it just enough to enter my passcode. After that screen – the illumination is JUST FINE. Only the most important passcode section is basically dead AFTER THE LEDGE UPGRADE. I try to complete the transaction but it says “OH IT MIGHT HAVE FAILED TRY AGAIN.” When I try – the passcode screen – black. DED.

Go online – search for issues about this. Yep – dead. You can order a new wallet. Or use an online one to recover your crypto BUT (and all warnings were strong and in capital letters) if you use an online wallet, you will need to enter your recovery words and they can be stolen, hacked, don’t trust the web, don’t trust online, don’t trust your computer – use a computer you only use or this!, etc etc etc.

So I need to order a new unit (which I did), or use an online wallet, to recover my money sitting in the ether USING MY PIECE OF PAPER WITH MY RECOVERY WORDS ON IT WITH MY PENCIL. Stored in the real world. Kind of like…my $20 bills would be….

You know….gonna start hoarding gold coins. F it.

So…it’s BAD to say China Flu. It’s BAD to say Wuhan Flu. This is per the media (who used both terms until Orange Man used them) and our new President.

BUT saying the UK Variant, the Brazilian variant or the South African Variant is 100% completely OK.

Huh? #middlefinger