a99kitten's Musings

I blog about a WHOLE LOT of stuff :)

Just got back from Stormy’s 6 month ultrasound check. After he had 2 surgeries in two months to remove 2 tumors from his liver (and almost half his liver), 1 of which UC Davis said was benign but the University of Colorado said was a “well-defined carcinoma”, we were getting them monthly. Then after 6 months, every 2 months and then after last November, we moved it to a 6-month check. We took him off the chemo regimen he was on last July. So I was pretty stressed about this one. Especially after losing Angelus. But happy to report he is still tumor free :) Checked all of his innards. I go in with him so he has less stress so I got to see it all too. Apparently his innards are perfect even though it looks like black and white squigglies to me :)

At his last oncologist visit, all of the doctors and nurses came to see him as they couldn’t believe how great he was doing. And now all of the techs and a couple of the docs at his regular vet came over to see him. Our doctor said everyone likes to see the success stories.

Stormy has been through a lot. And he keeps going because he has a big heart and a lot of happiness still left to give :) I think tonight might be the first true reason to have a glass of bubbly to celebrate something in the past month. Maybe I will. But right now I am letting myself relax a bit. Woke up at 3am stressed and unable to sleep so it’s nice to feel some of the stress leaving my body….

Needed to put away Angelus’ bowls. Decided to put them in a lower kitchen cabinet that I never use so that I wouldn’t keep seeing them every day. Pulled out what I thought were empty boxes and found 4 bottles of Dom and Veuve. And a Tiffany coffee pot, serving platter and candle holders we received as wedding gifts and that I apparently put away eons ago. I’ll take all that to the new house. Will need to fill up on side of the wine cellar with good bubbly and Tiffany stuff should always be out and used.

Angelus still helping me find treasures. Of course, his treasures were gophers and chipmunks…

Stormy had a bunch of ground turkey with melted cheese, a yummy cookie, went to Squaw and met a bunch of other doggies and hung out on the deck at his new house and old/current house. I hope a good 10th birthday!

Considering all he has been through over the past 1.5 years, he is still our miracle puppy. I stress every day for him, but also am thankful he is here and healthy.

I think he still misses Angelus a lot every day. You can tell. But hopefully a little less sad. Like his momma.

Monster the day Angelus picked him

Ok…not actually that dramatic or such a big deal to anyone BUT it is kind of weird. Yesterday was my last day at my old job.

Husband and I along with another co-founder started the company in January 1999 (summer of 98 really but incorporated in Jan99.) That’s a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away (well…Palo Alto…) Actually he wasn’t my husband then, only fiancee. I still worked full time at a hedge fund and then at night and weekends would help with all of the administrative set up of a new company, pay bills, meet with lawyers, financials for investors, you know – all the boring but needed stuff. Husband was getting his MBA at Stanford at the time. My boss helped introduce husband to some people for some seed investing. And then his being at Stanford did the rest (business school is quite useful for meeting people.)

We grew and grew. It was 1999 in Silicon Valley after all. Got funded by prestigious VCs, met interesting people and went to a few cool parties. But mostly worked. A lot. All we did was work actually. Sleep for like 6 or 7 hours and back to work. The company got kinda sorta famous due to a couple cool/interesting marketing stunts (was featured on Oprah!)

As we got bigger we hired a Director of Finance so I could turn all that over – thank god. Yuck. Then we hired a much more corporate COO than we were used too, and he thought the co-founder’s wife handling HR was a bad thing. I asked why – was everything not handled perfectly? He said it was but that people wouldn’t feel comfortable coming to me with issues and problems. I responded that I was not anyone’s kindergarten teacher, this was a business. He just smiled. And so we hired a Director of HR from another big company (that just flamed out) and paid him literally twice what I had been making (as the CEO’s wife you also get underpaid so there is no apparent favoritism. Yay.)

I still kept a lot of other functions such as liaise with legal and handle as much as I could in-house without paying the high=priced lawyers, all of the stock plan administration, office management, facilities and anything that people didn’t know what to do with. But at least without HR I got to work a little less – probably only 11-12 hours a day now.

But I was able to get a puppy and bring him to work. That will still always be the best thing about my job. Angelus ruled the office with his smile and cuteness. And everyone hoped that when he got bigger he would eat the Boston Terrier that the assistant to the VP of Marketing would bring in. Beans. Angelus did get bigger and Beans shot of his cube and lunged at him (as he would do occasionally to people as they walked by.) Angelus stepped on him to shut him up. Beans never did that again and many people came to my office to thank Angelus :)

There are plenty of stories of good times and crap dealt with. We almost sold to larger companies a couple times. We were in negotiations in September 2001. Deal did not happen. Market kinda caved in and we had to do a large round of lay-offs. I was actually included in the 2nd round of lay-offs as, once again, no one wanted the appearance of the founder/CEO’s wife getting preferential treatment. All of HR was let go except 1 person who took over some of my stuff along with the Director of Finance taking the rest.

I went on to do HR/Finance consulting. I had 3 clients, worked on my own schedule and was able to take the huskies on long walks in the AM and adventures in the afternoons. I kinda liked it. A lot.

Then the HR person who was kept on at the company just didn’t show up. Then called in with personal problems, blah blah. Husband asked me to come in and see what was being done, or more importantly, not done. So I did. Wow. She hadn’t done a LOT. Not exactly sure what the heck she did while collecting a paycheck. A shame since we liked her a lot. But I had sadly realized you cannot trust people. They aren’t looking out for you – only themselves. Learned this lesson over and over. So my own company hired me back as a consultant. I worked there a couple days a week and cleaned up the HR area. In the process of doing that I found a LOT of stuff the highly over-staffed and over-paid HR Director and his 4 person department didn’t do or did incorrectly during their time. Was an eye-opener. I fixed it. And then took more functions back and off the plate of the Director of Finance.

Eventually husband and Director of Finance wanted to hire me back full-time so I agreed and slowly ramped down my other consulting clients. We were still in “get to profitability and spend no money” mode so of course I didn’t get to make the salary of the former HR Director. But this was still my company. Our Director of Finance had an implosion and just never showed up for work one day. And we couldn’t find him. He had gone on a bender Charlie Sheen style. So I had to get in there and get the bills paid, checking accounts checked, payroll taken over. I guess he had been sliding down his personal slippery slope for a short time at a high speed but no real damage was done at work other than late bills – easy to fix. Good times. But we hired a new finance guy shortly after because I could not do that job for long in my limited finance capacity.

We survived the Internet bubble burst, the 9/11 market crash and did grow and get to profitability. We moved to nicer offices (my 2nd office move now) and the company was growing. We bought the assets of the company who was, for years, our largest competitor, for basically nothing. Time went on and the world changes. The Internet world changes even faster. Husband made suggestions to the Board of Directors on changes that needed to be made but 2 of them (the investors) didn’t want to hear it and were not interested in making any changes. The other 2 Board members, who are *very* successful in our Silicon Valley internet world, but who were not investors, agreed with husband. But the investor Board Members basically refused and were generally a pain in the ass. I was the Corporate Secretary so was in all of the Board meetings and would see the frustration husband would feel. He said the changes had to be made or the company wouldn’t survive over the long run.

During this time, I turned down a few full-time jobs (other internet start-ups, a hedge fund in SF and perhaps stupidly – at Facebook when they were small.) But I didn’t care about a “career”. I wanted a job I didn’t hate with people I liked, a schedule that didn’t kill me anymore and to be able to bring the dogs in.

Blah blah blah in mid to late 2009 we decided to sell the company. Took a little while but we sold to Alibaba in 2010. The deal closed on my birthday actually – ironic. Husband left to start another company. I stayed as I didn’t hate my job, liked the people, could set my schedule and, most importantly, bring my dogs to work every day. But things change and I went part-time last summer so that I could help husband with his new company (do the HR, finance and stock junk…again) part-time as well. I also found myself getting irritated by the smallest things. I am definitely not cut out for working in a “big company” culture. Yuck. And don’t get me started on the Chinese business culture.

Then this year we had to move the office again. This was my 3rd office move and was the last straw. On the night before the move as I was trying to make sure everything was packed up ready for the movers the next AM, no one helped clean up after a company lunch to celebrate the move. There were dirty dishes left in the sink. The fridge that I asked to be cleaned out of personal stuff was 3/4 full. And I’d say about 80% of the people left early – treating it more like a holiday to leave the office early after packing up their desks (which most people didn’t do very well) instead of asking what they could do to help. I could go on and on but what’s the point. It’s over. That Friday night I decided to quit. It was no longer fun so what was the point? Husband had been wanting me to quit for months so that I would work less (and be less stressed in theory?)

I gave my notice the first day after the move that the CEO was back in the office (from being in China.) In hindsight, I wish I had quit earlier. I spent what was some his final weeks working all the time for the move when I should have been having fun with Angelus. But there was no way to know that.

I’ve been through a lot of people’s last days. They take a long lunch, clean out their desks, chit-chat, say goodbye to everyone and leave early – usually right after seeing me for their final paperwork. They’ve already mentally checked out. I however was handling people’s requests all day. And then met with the consultant taking over the HR functions, placed office supply orders, cleaned out and transferred files to our in-house counsel and met with our Controller to transfer over functions. I started boxing up my desk at like 7pm. After handling my own termination paperwork. It was actually pretty funny. But at least I know it’s done right :)

It was a good run. I made good friends and learned a lot. But it was time. I would have been happier about it yesterday had Angelus been here too. One of the main reasons I wanted more free time was to spend more time doing fun things with the huskies. So it was sad yesterday too. But here is to less working hours, less stress, more time to trade my stock account (which I enjoy), exercise, read, fun times with husband, friends and Stormy. Ya know…enjoy life. Work should not be your life. Part of your life – yes. But not your life.

So *clink* to me. I’ll probably enjoy a toast of some bubbly about it soon. But it is a good thing for sure.

Husband picked up Angelus’ ashes from the vet last night. The nurse there made a little paw in stone cast for him/us. Very sweet. But made me cry and miss him all over again. This really isn’t getting any easier. At all.

Put Angelus’ bed and bowls away today. Apparently I need a lot more time for this wound.

Every time I listen to CNBC’s American Greed on my drive home I can’t help but be just as annoyed and irritated with the “victims” as with the criminals.

I’m not saying the thieves were right. I’m not saying it doesn’t suck to have your money stolen. BUT, the bulk of these people were clearly quite lucky to ever have come in contact with the money they lost to begin with.

As an example, tonight’s victims were of to a guy who offered (phony) bridge loans. He lived in Hawaii and convinced people that he barely knew to loan him tons of money to supposedly make bridge loans. And of course, you got tons of interest on the money you lent him to do this. But then you didn’t. And then your money was gone. 1 woman said she took out 3 high-interest mortgages on her home on Kauai to loan/invest with him.

Hello?

So then this guy declares bankruptcy in Hawaii and is being investigated by the FBI. So he leaves his $4 million mansion and moves to Seattle and is living in a rented single room. And gets a job at a mortgage broker. Of course. Then he convinces another guy renting a room in the same place to give him his kid’s college fund ($30k) to “invest” in bridge loans. And apparently more people, to the tune of hundreds of thousands of dollars, also invest with him. Just in Seattle. Many millions in Hawaii. And just while he has been in Seattle for a short time. And living in a rented room while working at a mortgage broker office. Clearly a trusted investment professional.

Hello?

The woman from Kauai, the one who took out 3 mortgages on her home, and was forced to sell her home and move in with family in Maine, had the nerve to say “This could happen to anyone. I am an educated woman.” No. No, you can be 100% sure it would not happen to me. You thought you were getting a quick and easy way to money that you didn’t actually have to work for. Be honest. Great if it can happen but winning double 00s in Vegas is fun too. But you can’t blame anyone when you go bust. So not much sympathy coming from over here.

Fool. Money. Lucky to have ever met.

It’s snowing right now. But instead of loving it and being happy, I am just sad. I used to be so excited for snow mainly because of how much Angelus loved it. And how much fun he had in it. I’d look outside and see the snow and want to get out in it with him. Or when we’d wake up and there was a fresh snow on the ground. Heck, before we had this house, we’d drive up to Tahoe when there was a big snowstorm so that he could play in it.

Storm doesn’t care as much about it. I’m sure he likes that he is not hot but he has always been more of a couch potato than his brother, who wanted nothing more than to be outside. All the time. And in the snow? That was the absolute best.

He had one of the best snow play times on our last trip up here 2 weekends ago. The big smiles on his face as he ran through the snow with the other huskies he met or digging in the snow for chipmunks and coming up with a face covered in snow and a huge smile or just walking and sniffing as we got covered in snow were the best.

But today it’s just a painful reminder. A reminder of a big empty hole in my life.

Watching CNBC this morning and they start talking about a company/stock – HK. It’s a US gas/oil exploration company (I only knew that by searching for them.) The stock was up $0.33 on the day as they talked about it and I was looking at what the heck they do. Sure enough, starts jumping up and up once they were done to + $0.75 (this isn’t AAPL, it’s a $10 stock so that’s a decent jump.) Made me laugh to see that happen…again.

When I worked at a hedge fund and sat right outside the trading room, I would listen to CNBC all day. This was during the internet stock craziness and it was pretty much 100% guaranteed the minute CNBC mentioned a stock, the sucker would launch. I had access to instant execution on trades so I would buy and sell small lots in my account. This is basically how I paid for my wedding/Hawaii elopement & reception. That and some options trading.

I remember calling a friend and asking if she wanted me to trade her account on a stock I was getting into that day AS they were talking about it on CNBC. She was stressed but did it. We both had a great day.  She went into trading soon after that and ended up being a trader for a fund. She just left that to work on a stock newsletter. Good times. The stories she and I have about our old jobs would put the Nanny Diaries &  Devil Wears Prada to shame. But we’ll never tell :)

Good to see the CNBC effect is still in place. The sheep are still there and you can profit from it (just like in ZNGA!)

 

Art

This is the painting I bought the other night.

The restaurant we went to for dinner had a bunch of bear paintings displayed all around. I assumed from a local school. We asked the waitress and sure enough, the elementary school’s 3rd/4th grade art class.

I kept going back to this one because the Momma bear face has the same “hmph” expression Angelus gets when he is annoyed. :)

$20 cash and I have some original art that I like :) Now I just need to frame it & figure out where to hang it in the new house.

I’m all for supporting artistic endeavors. Just not enforced support through tax dollars. THAT I do not support.

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