a99kitten's Musings

You would have been 28 today.

I remember all the birthdays I got you Ducktales cakes, Teenage Mutant Ninja cakes, or GI Joe cakes. Of all the GI Joe stuff I put together with you on your birthday. And the Super Mario we played. As you got older, I realized you preferred money or gift cards, which isn’t nearly as much fun to shop for, but hope you always had a good and fun birthday.

I recently received a letter from the man who received one of your kidneys. He has a new life off of dialysis to spend with his kids. He said he had given up on ever getting a match. It’s sad for me to read but good at the same time. I hope he realizes how lucky he is. Pretty sure he does.

I was hoping to hike your ashes up to Hawks Peak today. I always wanted you out here in CA with me, and you finally realized, after your tumultuous teen/early 20s years, that it would be a good thing. I want part of you free in the mountain air where I know you would have loved it.

I am still sad. And think life is wickedly unfair and stupid. But there isn’t much to do about that other than recognize it and deal with it. Never think for a second I will ever forget you. That I won’t still laugh at all the funny stuff. I have the Chewbacca action figure you gave me 1 week before you died. It will always be my most treasured and favorite Chewbacca.

I hope you are enjoying a much easier, fun new life where you are now. Wherever that is.

I miss you dude. A lot.

Thanksgiving weekend is drawing to a close. Sad that I have to leave snowy Tahoe but happy it’s now Christmas season! Started on Friday when I put up my tree here. And this week I will buy a tree for home. Very excited!! My tree routine is go pick my tree, get tree home and up, order pizza, put Christmas music on and decorate with a glass of bubbly. I’ve had this routine for years – at home (no bubbly then tho!) and then on my own. When decorated, you sit and look at your pretty tree and smile :) Every night when I come home from work, I will turn the tree lights and Xmas music on. Having my tree makes me happy. Period.

I tried very hard to not play any Christmas music until Friday but then on Friday – Dean Martin, Frank Sinatra, Johnny Mathis and more got plenty of play :) Christmas music really makes me happy. Well, let me re-phrase…I like well done Christmas music. I’ve heard some really bad pop or rap renditions…not a fan…at all. But there is nothing better than the old classics. My dad would play the Bing Crosby, Frank Sinatra and Johnny Mathis records over and over all month long. They are in constant rotation at my house now too :)

Went to our homeowner’s association Tree Lighting last night. They had a pretty big set up at the lodge with s’mores stations, pictures with Santa and plenty of games for kids. We saw Santa’s sleigh land too. Not exactly sure how they did it, but they did make it seem like he landed from the sky – had him come out of the dark forest so it was a good illusion. The kids (ok, me too…) were pretty excited to see it :) I wore my jingle bell antlers headband so the little kids liked to stop and talk to me :) It was sooooo cold out but they had a lot of the outdoor heaters going. It was a very fun event.

Fun football weekend. My Gators won!! The Stanford/Notre Dame game was great and I am on track to win my FF week. Although it will come down to MNF as I have Drew Brees and my opponent has Reggie Bush. I am very, very excited for that game. I am rooting for NO to win!

It’s time to get some Christmas shopping done. I love going to Stanford Shopping Center at Christmas time. They have trees and decorations everywhere, music playing, everything is lit up, the whole place is beautiful. It’s nice and festive and wintery. I actually prefer to get my shopping done online for most things but love going there just for the holiday ambiance. Walk around, get a hot cocoa or hot apple cider and check out all the store displays.

It’s very busy for me at work this time of year. And then you throw in being busy for holiday stuff. It’s so easy to get so busy that you forget to stop and enjoy this time of year. Always take some time to stop and enjoy the season. Watch the snow fall if you can. Or decorate your Christmas tree, even if you can only afford a small one. Or sit down and listen to Bing sing White Christmas. Oh – and watch a cute Christmas movie! Old classics, new classics – whatever tickles you. Find the time for these things. *Especially* if you have kids – they will always remember it. Presents are awesome – everyone loves them, loves to play with them, have them, etc, etc. But they will remember the things they did, trees decorated, visits to Santa, snowballs thrown, family traditions to repeat for years, the times you laughed together at Ralphie and his quest for a Red Ryder or rooted for Rudolph. It’s important. These are the things I remember from my family Christmas’ and always will.

Me and the buds Xmas 2005