a99kitten's Musings

I blog about a WHOLE LOT of stuff :)

The Allergists were in favor of  scratching it, but the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.

The Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but the Neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of nerve.

Meanwhile,  Obstetricians felt certain everyone was laboring under a misconception, while the Ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted.

Pathologists yelled, “Over my dead body!”, while the Pediatricians said, “Oh, grow up!”

The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while the Radiologists could see right through it.

Surgeons  decided to wash their hands of the whole thing and the Internists claimed it would indeed be a  bitter pill to swallow.

The Plastic Surgeons opined that this proposal would “put a whole new face on the matter”.

The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the Urologists were pissed off at the whole idea.

Anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas, and those softy Cardiologists didn’t have the heart to  say no.

In the end, the Proctologists won out, leaving the entire decision up to the assholes in Washington….

(as received from my Democrat mother-in-law..even she knows it’s all crap!) ;-)

Have seen this e-mailed joke for several years but I always giggle…and know it’s true!

Life really boils down to 2 questions…

1. Should I get a dog…?

Dog

Dog

OR…

2.  Should I have children?

Child

Child

Luckily my 2 huskies are so perfect – makes this an easy question ;-)

Angelus puppy

Angelus puppy

Storm puppy

Storm puppy

I’ve seen this joke before but it always make me giggle so I decided to post it :)

Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Redneck?

Here is a little test that will help you decide. The answer can be found by posing the following question:

You’re walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Colt Model 1911 45 cal. automatic pistol, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do? THINK CAREFULLY…

Democrat’s Answer:

Well, that’s not enough information to answer the question!

Does the man look poor or oppressed?

Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

Could we run away?

What does my wife think?

What about the kids?

Could I possibly swing the gun, like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?

What does the law say about this situation?

Does the pistol have appropriate safety built into it?

Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?

Is it possible he’d be happy with just killing me?

Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?

If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?

Should I call 9-1-1?

Why is this street so deserted?

We need to raise taxes, have paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

This is all so confusing!!!

I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.

Republican’s Answer:

BANG !!!

Redneck’s Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG !

Click….. (Sounds of reloading)

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!BANG! BANG!

Click

Daughter: “Nice grouping Daddy, Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points ?”

Son: “Can I shoot the next one ?!!!”

Wife: “You ain’t taking that to the Taxidermist”