a99kitten's Musings

Had to read through some IRS publications today. Boatloads of giddy fun times *yesthatissarcasm*. However, it did provide for some smirks. Here are some of my favorites…italics are my own personal comments and not those expressed by IRS :)

Bribes. If you receive a bribe, include it in your income. You should choose now to be honest to ensure the IRS gets their cut…

Babysitting. If you babysit for relatives or neighborhood children, whether on a regular basis or only periodically, the rules for childcare providers apply to you. might as well learn the rules and start paying early kid..and let’s talk about that lemonade stand..

Astronauts. You also can exclude death payments for astronauts dying in the line of duty after 2002. new for 2010 tax rules – awesome (?)

Host or Hostess. If you host a party or event at which sales are made, any gift or gratuity you receive for giving the event is a payment for helping a direct seller make sales. You must report this item as income at its fair market value. so your Mary Kay free lipgloss for hosting the neighborhood party is taxable – better report that

Indian financing grants. Nonreimbursable grants under title IV of the Indian Financing Act of 1974 to Indians to expand profit-making Indian-owned economic enterprises on or near reservations are not includible in gross income. indian? they are sooo in trouble for this horribly un-PC statement – 20 tomahawk chops

Old-age, survivors, and disability insurance benefits (OASDI). OASDI payments under section 202 of title II of the Social Security Act are not includible in the gross income of the individuals to whom they are paid. This applies to old-age insurance benefits, and insurance benefits for wives, husbands, children, widows, widowers, mothers and fathers, and parents, as well as the lump-sum death payment. also horribly un-PC – “old-age”? shouldn’t that be youth-challenged or something?

Exxon Valdez settlement income. Include in your income on Form 1040, line 21, or Form 1040NR, line 21, any qualified settlement income you receive as a qualified taxpayer. still unsettled after 20ish years? i guess you deserve your own category in the IRS rules for holding out so long…

Found property. If you find and keep property that does not belong to you that has been lost or abandoned (treasure-trove), it is taxable to you at its fair market value in the first year it is your undisputed possession. an expansion on the finders/keepers philosophy…

Free tour. If you received a free tour from a travel agency for organizing a group of tourists, you must include its value in your income. so i guess we need to re-define free…

Gambling winnings. You must include your gambling winnings in your income on Form 1040, line 21. If you itemize your deductions on Schedule A (Form 1040), you can deduct gambling losses you had during the year, but only up to the amount of your winnings. and if it’s $9,999.99 or less I’m sure everyone does…

Hobby losses. Losses from a hobby are not deductible from other income. A hobby is an activity from which you do not expect to make a profit. If you collect stamps, coins, or other items as a hobby for recreation and pleasure, and you sell any of the items, your gain is taxable as a capital gain. However, if you sell items from your collection at a loss, you cannot deduct the loss. that seems completely fair (??)

Holocaust victims restitution. Restitution payments you receive as a Holocaust victim (or the heir of a Holocaust victim) and interest earned on the payments are not taxable. Excludable restitution payments are payments or distributions made by any country or any other entity because of persecution of an individual on the basis of race, religion, physical or mental disability, or sexual orientation by Nazi Germany, any other Axis regime… but what about the new Axis of Evil? what if I get a payment from them?

Illegal activities. Income from illegal activities, such as money from dealing illegal drugs, must be included in your income on Form 1040, line 21, or on Schedule C or Schedule C-EZ (Form 1040) if from your self-employment activity. ok…

Kickbacks. You must include kickbacks, side commissions, push money, or similar payments you receive in your income on Form 1040, line 21, or on Schedule C or Schedule C-EZ (Form 1040) if from your self-employment activity. ummm….again…ok….

Prizes and awards. If you win a prize in a lucky number drawing, television or radio quiz program, beauty contest, or other event, you must include it in your income. For example, if you win a $50 prize in a photography contest, you must report this income on Form 1040, line 21. If you refuse to accept a prize, do not include its value in your income. $50 eh? want their cut of everything!

Pulitzer, Nobel, and similar prizes. If you were awarded a prize in recognition of accomplishments in religious, charitable, scientific, artistic, educational, literary, or civic fields, you generally must include the value of the prize in your income. However, you do not include this prize in your income if you meet all of the following requirements.

1.

You were selected without any action on your part to enter the contest or proceeding.
2.

You are not required to perform substantial future services as a condition for receiving the prize or award.
3.

The prize or award is transferred by the payer directly to a governmental unit or tax-exempt charitable organization as designated by you. The following conditions apply to the transfer. real reason obama donated his Nobel prize money.

Rewards. If you receive a reward for providing information, include it in your income. government deserves their fair share for you finding someone’s lost kitty or doggie..

Sale of personal items. If you sold an item you owned for personal use, such as a car, refrigerator, furniture, stereo, jewelry, or silverware, your gain is taxable as a capital gain. Report it on Schedule D (Form 1040). You cannot deduct a loss.

However, if you sold an item you held for investment, such as gold or silver bullion, coins, or gems, any gain is taxable as a capital gain and any loss is deductible as a capital loss. totally counting my star wars collection as ‘held for investment’ if I lose money on any of it..

Stolen property. If you steal property, you must report its fair market value in your income in the year you steal it unless in the same year, you return it to its rightful owner. just trying to keep thieves honest…

There are probably many more fun ones but I’ll stop now so I can uncross my eyes…