a99kitten's Musings

I blog about a WHOLE LOT of stuff :)

Today was a weird day. Woke up to clear, blue skies after several days of Terminator apocalyptic skies. Took advantage and hiked Indy in the AM so he’d be tired. That’s funny.

Then I saw the weather report that smoke was returning this afternoon. I paced around doing stuff this AM trying to decide hat to do next – versus our routine – so took him to the beach and he had a blast running free with other buddies.

I had a lot of weird energy and still could not sit down so did chores, etc etc when we got back. Then saw the notice that there was a fire just started, in addition to the giant fire already burning. Now…these fires are not technically close enough to us that I am worried about them actually getting here. But the sad reality is no one can predict weird fire weather. Last year proved that.

And then my neighbors all ping me because I am apparently the only person who uses twitter – which gets the fastest updates. So since last year I am the neighborhood watch. And my aunt was texting me non-stop about my dad’s health stuff. So my brain tweaked.

When you have smoky, red, scary skies. And fire warnings. And then they close your freeway….it can seem not so great. I feel getting a little stressed is warranted. I packed up photos and papers, jewelry and collectibles. And my buds ashes and pics and stuffed toys. I kept repeating it’s fine and no big deal as I did these things. Thankfully, Indy seems immune to my stress unlike Smokey and he continued just following me around and playing with his toys.

I walked Indy. Fed him his dinner. Took a shower. Breathe.

Deciding what to pack if you need to leave with 15 minutes notice is not easy. I know it should be. You and your dog. The end. And that’s what it would be. But your whole life of memories is in things, and pictures, and crap. Plus you need underwear and socks. And your vitamins. And water. And a gun. And money. It’s just a fucking weird feeling. And until you’ve had to do it, and more than once, it’s too fn easy to say “oh just leave.”

They stopped forward progression of the latest fire. And our weather seems OK so I should not worry so much. But this reminded me of the last 3 years. And I keep my stress bundled up tightly. Until I have a minute to let it out and cry, or have a drink, or pace. Or whatever.

Adrenalin is a weird thing. Not sure how it effects others. Just know how it effects me. Go Go Go Go Go Crash when it seems you can. But only then.

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