I have been gardening for hours all week. Decided not to hire someone to do this work so I could be out there. I’ll hire someone for the big yard clean up but I chose to do the garden areas. Mostly so I could stay busy outside and end up looking at something pretty.
And yet I’m still sad.
Today my neighbor had his friends up for the weekend as they do every year. Usually Smokey would go say hi to everyone, and meander around. Everyone would pet him and tell him how awesome he was. He’d be the life of the party.
I had dinner again with neighbors the other night. And had a fun and busy day and evening. But I still came home and was immediately sad.
I am crying again. I think maybe I should start considering adopting a new dog. But I I know I am not ready. I do not want a new dog. I want Smokey back.
I think tomorrow is just curl up and be tired day. I might not let it happen. But right now I think so.
