Not sure what is wrong with me that I never learn.
I have told myself social media is off limits. My pictures are off limits. But it’s one of my favorite days, so I clicked through my FB memories. Mostly, I was trying to remember what I BBQed last year on this day as I watched Solo – I remember that part – what was on. And Smokey watching me use my (new-ish) grill. But I could not remember if it was chicken or beef. Should not have mattered. Idiot.
So instead I just got sad. And cried.
I always try to make this day a fun day. Even though it’s a silly “holiday”. I have no one to celebrate it with so it is kind of ridiculous. But oh well. But today my dad had his doctor appointment and turns out, as we suspected, that he might have lung cancer. Not really a surprise since he has smoked since he was like 9 (go dad). He needs to get a biopsy so I’ll know more in a week or so. And then I get to make medical decisions. Yay.
So then I went for a walk. Showered. Made dinner. Had Star Wars movies playing. But then stupidly looked through FB pics from today.
I should know better. But I guess not. I try every day to stay happy(ish). To stay out of my head. Being broken sucks. 2022 can fuck itself.
