a99kitten's Musings

I blog about a WHOLE LOT of stuff :)

I have been staying off social media ever since Smokey died. I have posted a few pics lately of food or toys but I post and then close. I saw a few birthday notifications on FB so addressed those – but then closed. I do not scroll down, I do not want to see my memories, I do not want to see other stuff that will make me sad.

I have opened and kept up to date on my Twitter FinTwit list because of trading but have not veered from that list except for my tahoe list during the snow storm.

I’m sure my friends are posting fun or annoying things but I am staying away from it all.

And then tonight, I posted on TWTR that I finished Mare of Easttown. Heavy. But good. Only 7 episodes so I was able to “binge” it this week.

Then I opened Instagram because I have multiple notifications there and that fn annoys the shit out of me. With FB and TWTR, I just open and close the app and it clears them without seeing them. But the first thing I saw on Insta was an account I follow – Loki – saying how he might have some kidney issues. Maybe not so bad though. But then he might have some spleen/cancer issues. He’s 9.5.

I was just almost getting to the point where I might consider adopting a dog in the future. Not now. Nowhere near now. Because I’d just be looking for Smokey. And that’s not fair. But I was not longer saying it would never happen. But then I read this about Loki and cried. Because I’ve been through this exact issue. Kidney stuff with Smokey (although he came through it) and spleen issues with Angelus – and he did not. I am just not sure how many times you can break your heart in 1 life time.

Analytically, I know that making a dog’s life amazing is making his whole life amazing. And even though you lose them too soon in human years – you’ve made their life. And that’s the best thing. I know that. But I just don’t know how many times I can take that loss.

So now I just do not know.

Also – going back to zero social media.

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