a99kitten's Musings

I blog about a WHOLE LOT of stuff :)

Between last Easter weekend and this fresh snow weekend, I’ve seen pretty much all of my neighbors. Whether full-timers having me over for dinner, insisting I go on walks with them, chit-chatting as I see them out while I am shoveling or part-timers seeing me after a week or more as I am out walking. The 100% constant question is “Am I OK?”

Well..all anyone wants to hear is Yes – I’m OK. Doing better. Doing well. How are you? Because dealing with “No – I am not OK” sucks.

But it’s not really factual. Sometimes. But I’m no longer interested in dealing with people’s reactions to “honestly not doing great.” No one wants to hear that. No matter how much they think they care about you. Fact. So I simply started saying “I’m OK” to everyone. Just leave it – you don’t care, and I don’t want to spend 1 second more trying to make you more comfortable with it. I do not come to you crying. I do break out in sobs. So leave it.

The fact is some days I am better than others. Some days I truly just want to stay in bed but I do not allow that. But I want to. But yes – some days I am OK. Or maybe the actual truth is some hours I am OK. And some I am not. Truly a game of ebbs and flows. Loss and sadness from different areas in my life.

So sure…I’m fine. Doing OK. How are you?

No Comments :(

Comments are closed.