a99kitten's Musings

I blog about a WHOLE LOT of stuff :)

Has snowed, off and on, since yesterday AM. Yesterday was not great. Today no crying. So I guess it’s a better day. No stock market to focus on gives my brain way too much free time. A 3-day weekend with snow every day would have been so awesome a few months ago. Now it’s painful.

I did get sad today. I shoveled snow off the deck. I put stuff away in the now empty dog treat cabinet. I watched snow fall. I found fur stuck in a screw underneath my dining table lol. But I stayed constantly busy. Working on my home projects and exercising (and yet getting fatter so that’s cool.) And am now catching up on some past eps of Grey’s Anatomy. I told myself I’d be lazy today and watch a movie but then did my Peloton and then stayed busy on stuff. And did laundry. And then shoveled. And then it was after 6pm and time to shower and make dinner and clean up after dinner and then it was 8pm. And I really suck at bingeing or trying to watch movies.

One day I’ll stop counting my Saturdays and Sundays in terms of weeks since I lost Smokey. But for now, it’s been 13 weeks since I started the day in a great mood and then went to sleep knowing my best friend was probably leaving me. Sleeping on the sofa, watching him. Hoping I was wrong. I really do hate weekends now.

I hope to sleep well. Have been consistently tired. But the full moon week is always worse. So let’s see..

Releasing stress/pressure is not easy. But it’s important. For physical and mental health. I’ve always known that. But it’s not always easy. So I do my Peloton. And go outside for a walk. Have dinner with neighbors (they are really social – going again for Easter dinner). Or even dance it out (bopped my head to Call me Maybe last night.)

It doesn’t fix everything. I’m still sad every day. But you have to get out of your head. I know that. But you can’t stop trying.

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