The past couple of days I have been keeping myself busy, and doing my very best to not get sad. Trading, working on projects, doing my stupid Peloton, did laundry, cleaned up the garage, going for walks, did errands yesterday. I even decided to finally throw away 1 of the old dog beds. It was actually Angelus’, which then Shadow used and then Smokey. It was so hard to wash, and so old with rips. I even thought, after I bought several new beds for Smokey, that I could finally throw it away. But he still loved it so we kept it. For years. But yesterday – I disassembled it and threw the cover away. I did it.
This morning I woke up to it snowing. Honestly forgot about that in the forecast. But I still held it together. Saw Smokey’s friend Boomer as I dragged the recycling bin up in the snow at 7am, in my PJs and snow boots, and skooshed him. Still held it together.
I even thought after my walk this afternoon that it was good to not be so terribly sad for a little while. #jinx
Then this evening I see that the weather warmed up so much this late afternoon/evening that not only did our fresh snow melt out there but so did a bit more of Smokey’s snow pile. And 1 of Smokey’s buried bones was just sitting there on the deck. I guess it fell out of the frozen pile. Just like as if he left it there to chew on later this evening while I watched a TV show before bed.
Honestly, no way I can throw more of Smokey’s stuff away right now. So I will go back to ignoring the deck and Smokey’s snow piles for now.
So…not as good as I was.
