I’m trying. I really, really am. But it doesn’t work. At least not for very long.
Friday I made a few trades, worked on home junk, and did multiple exercise sessions. It was starting to snow early and flurries and wind all day. Then my neighbor asked if they could bring their dog by for a hello. I thought it was to check in on me, but I think it was a way for them to prepare to say goodbye soon. Thunder came in and immediately stole 1 of Smokey’s toys. I said he could have it – Smokey would like that. Thunder was his best friend from his first week or so here and he was always so happy to see him. Thunder has def aged in the last couple of months. And this breaks my heart some more.
Yesterday, I worked on my toy projects and took a long walk as it was snowing. Started crying towards the end – cool. I also snowshoed to my “crawl space” in the AM as the door opened up and set off my alarm in the middle of the night #superfun Assumed it was not a serial killer and waited till the AM to deal with it. Found a dead mouse inside as soon as I checked the door. Great. Locked it up – the exterminator will have to deal with that. But I realized I missed snowshoeing. A lot. But I also realized I have literally never snowshoed without a buddy. So…nevermind. And then binge watched 3 hours of The Dropout before trying to fall asleep and not being able to until well past midnight. Again.
Today I goofed around on my dumb Star Wars and Disney games for way too long, did some home project junk, multiple exercise sessions, shoveled my driveway and am now trying to finish being caught up on The Walking Dead.
But guess what – after watching The Dropout and realizing I didn’t really read much about the whole Theranos debacle other than knowing it was one, I read a few Vanity Fair articles about her and low and behold – she adopted a husky puppy (who she would claim was a wolf) and took him to work every day. Of course she did.
Then watching The Walking Dead, all I do is worry about the fate of Dog – a GS or Malinois. Eat the humans? Sure. Please keep this dog safe. Darryl got him some good snacks in the latest episode I am watching.
I simply cannot escape constant reminders to make me remember and be sad of my loss. No matter what I do. No matter what projects I do, what exercise I do, or what random TV shows or movies I watch. That is my daily life. Constant reminders. 8 weeks in. 8 weeks since my heart broke…again. Feels like a decade so far. I have also aged in the last couple of months.
