Busy day today – carpet cleaners were here and moving stuff around for them, etc etc. And trading. And my goofy Star Wars game. And made myself go for a long walk. The light was perfect as it was sunset (and super cold and windy) and it would have been a great walk with Smokey on the ridge where I took beautiful pictures of him for everyone to smile at.
A good friend called me this AM and would not take no for an answer about talking to me on the phone and not text to make sure I was ok. And by the end I was smiling.
I have stayed off social media, other than my stock lists on twitter, since Smokey left. I went on FB tonight to say HB to an old, good (different) friend whose birthday was Monday. A friend who didn’t ping me or even a general “I’m sorry” to me via social media after Smokey. Only realized that on Monday – her birthday. Whatever. People have lives, families, etc. It’s fine. I’ve checked out anyway.
Then I saw her post from this evening that her mom had a heart attack over the weekend. My first reaction was to ping her, see how she was doing. To wish her mom well. And then I didn’t. I commented on her FB post. And that was it. It’s what Facebook is for, right?
And then I saw Smokey’s pictures show up on FB. And cried. Closed – back to my ban.
I’m too tired to care right now. People can have their families. Their jobs. Their lives. I get it. I probably get it more than most. But don’t expect more from me either. I’ve tried to be there a lot. For many. Just do not have it in me right now.
