24
Jan
Yesterday was 2 weeks since I lost Smokey. Feels like it was yesterday but also so long since I saw his smile. I truly hate everything right now.
I feel lost.
Ed visited this weekend. We watched movies and S1 of Yellowstone. And cheered the 49ers game/win. Actually went out to lunch too – first time I have eaten inside a restaurant since Feb 2020. But all I thought of was how fn stupid it was to see people wear masks as they walked in, but then remove them as talked, ate, laughed. And then put them back on to walk out. Such ridiculous theater.
And then all I could think was I’d much rather have to eat outside because Smokey was with us.
But glad Ed was here to keep me talking and thinking about silly stuff.
But I feel lost.
