a99kitten's Musings

I am very sad tonight.

Robin Williams died. I read it first on forum for toys that I am part of. Funny place to see that news. I instantly searched twitter, because that’s far more reliable and instant than any news site or Facebook, and saw actual news stories from “respected” outlets (so not a twitter hoax which is just a f***ing mental dickness of some people. No…that is not a typo.)

And I got very, instantaneously sad.

When celebrities/famous people have died in the past, I can reflect on the loss. I can say “oh man…that sucks.” But I generally don’t get truly sad. I didn’t know them. They were people I watched from afar. They were figments of TV or movies or whatever. Ronald Reagan made me sad but in a “he was very old so not unexpected” kind of way. More of a loss of an ideal. It is sad they are gone, but more for the people actually in their lives than me.

But perhaps it’s because as people, we grow up watching these actors or singers. We go through our lives and they become part of it through memory. I know that I remember watching Good Morning Vietnam with my Mom and my little brother, both who I have lost.

I remember watching Mork & Mindy as a kid. With my parents. My Mom who is gone and my dad is who is in a nursing home – essentially gone.

I remember watching Mrs Doubtfire and The World According to Garp with my brother. And Hook. And Moscow on the Hudson. And Dead Poets Society. The Birdcage! Of course Goodwill Hunting. Or creepazoid One Hour Photo and Insomnia.

And oh my god Death to Smoochy had my brother and me rolling on the floor laughing as we talked about it. And holyhell the doctor in Nine Months!

And yes, I did enjoy his new show The Crazy Ones. And not just because it was with Buffy. I loved him. I’ve loved watching Robin Williams in anything since I was a kid. Heck – I even liked his Law And Order: SVU guest starring role. #notahappy

He was great in everything. I loved when he was on talk shows because he was able to take any subject, at any time, and run with it. Pure genius.

So maybe when we get so emotional about celebrities dying, it’s not only because we know we have lost the enjoyment they bring us when we watch them, but also what it represents in our own lives. The memories it stirs up. The ones we have truly lost in our own lives. Whether through death, or them leaving you. Family, friends, beloved doggies.

So yeah..I am very sad tonight.