a99kitten's Musings

Needed to put away Angelus’ bowls. Decided to put them in a lower kitchen cabinet that I never use so that I wouldn’t keep seeing them every day. Pulled out what I thought were empty boxes and found 4 bottles of Dom and Veuve. And a Tiffany coffee pot, serving platter and candle holders we received as wedding gifts and that I apparently put away eons ago. I’ll take all that to the new house. Will need to fill up on side of the wine cellar with good bubbly and Tiffany stuff should always be out and used.

Angelus still helping me find treasures. Of course, his treasures were gophers and chipmunks…

Stormy had a bunch of ground turkey with melted cheese, a yummy cookie, went to Squaw and met a bunch of other doggies and hung out on the deck at his new house and old/current house. I hope a good 10th birthday!

Considering all he has been through over the past 1.5 years, he is still our miracle puppy. I stress every day for him, but also am thankful he is here and healthy.

I think he still misses Angelus a lot every day. You can tell. But hopefully a little less sad. Like his momma.

Monster the day Angelus picked him

Husband picked up Angelus’ ashes from the vet last night. The nurse there made a little paw in stone cast for him/us. Very sweet. But made me cry and miss him all over again. This really isn’t getting any easier. At all.

Put Angelus’ bed and bowls away today. Apparently I need a lot more time for this wound.

It’s snowing right now. But instead of loving it and being happy, I am just sad. I used to be so excited for snow mainly because of how much Angelus loved it. And how much fun he had in it. I’d look outside and see the snow and want to get out in it with him. Or when we’d wake up and there was a fresh snow on the ground. Heck, before we had this house, we’d drive up to Tahoe when there was a big snowstorm so that he could play in it.

Storm doesn’t care as much about it. I’m sure he likes that he is not hot but he has always been more of a couch potato than his brother, who wanted nothing more than to be outside. All the time. And in the snow? That was the absolute best.

He had one of the best snow play times on our last trip up here 2 weekends ago. The big smiles on his face as he ran through the snow with the other huskies he met or digging in the snow for chipmunks and coming up with a face covered in snow and a huge smile or just walking and sniffing as we got covered in snow were the best.

But today it’s just a painful reminder. A reminder of a big empty hole in my life.

I don’t have any other words right now. Just sadness.

Today on our afternoon husky walk, I let the buds off-leash on the low tide beach to play with a couple of dogs. They were running around and chasing – including Storm! As the woman whose dogs I thought they were walked closer, I recognized her as the Mom of 2 border collies who I used to see pretty much every morning at the beach. Both of her dogs died awhile ago but I would still her on her walks. So when I saw her with these dogs, I thought she got some new pals. Turns out these 2 weren’t her dogs, but a guy on the beach on his phone and she was just petting the dogs.

The woman approached me a bit cautiously and I thought “you don’t recognize us??” We had talked quite a lot after her dogs died and also after Storm got sick. She got closer and had this huge smile on her face. Turns out she recognized me and Angelus but for a little bit thought I got another grey and white husky because she didn’t recognize Storm, but was nervous and sad to ask. She could not believe how good he looked and how fluffy he was again, and running around playing!

I updated her on Storm and then Storm took off after the other 2 dogs so I had to chase him down. When I got back, she was talking to a woman with a border collie puppy (squeeee – puppy!) and had already told her Storm’s story. She and her husband were fawning over the huskies and saying how remarkable Storm’s story was. Not exactly sure what was told to them but that was nice. Although the huskies could care less about the attention. They are funny guys.

They continued on their walk and this woman (CarolAnn like in Poltergeist – I remember that one even though I’m typically horrible with the human’s names) started saying her good byes. Turns out she came down to the beach because today was the anniversary of her dogs deaths. One was 3 years ago today and the other 2 years ago today. Eerie. She said she wanted to come down to one of their favorite walks to connect with them again. And she was going to go home and watch a few short videos she had of them. Yikes. That made me sad. Sad for her. Sad for the eventuality of loss.

But then she smiled super big again and said that seeing Storm so healthy and happy again made her heart full and very happy for us. She walked away with tears in her eyes but a smile on her face.

Good boy Stormy :)

Storm got his ultrasound/liver check-up today. I am always a stress basket before he gets it. As we were in the waiting room, he was entertaining the other patients’ humans and staff with his howling. Cuts the tension in a doctor’s waiting room, that’s for sure :)

The nurse said they would likely have to shave his belly which made me sad. He finally got all of his fur back and had a GREAT time in the snow and I didn’t want him to have a cold, naked belly again right before winter :(

But turns out they didn’t have to! His oncologist said they just spread his fur apart and got the jelly on his skin and checked in 3 spots around the liver as well as straight on. And he is ALL CLEAR! No tumors, no nodules, no dark spots – nothing. YAY! The doc was in back telling all of the other doctors and nurses to come up and see Storm as she couldn’t believe how awesome he looked and how fast his fur came in.

I guess one of the doctor’s saw us at Mavericks and had told Storm’s doctor that he looked great WITH fur. She said she didn’t actually recognize that it was Storm until she saw Angelus with him and recognized him first. Our doctor said she was excited to see him coming in today but had no idea it would be with this much fur!

We spent about 10 minutes as doctors and nurses came up front to ooh and aah over Storm which he didn’t mind at all :) And we don’t have to go back for another check-up until February!

My little Stormtrooper :)

Today started with some stress. Just usual stress, nothing unusual. Storm did want to go on his walk, but didn’t really want to eat breakfast. No big deal except he didn’t really want much dinner either. Although he did eat his previous night’s dinner since I bought him some McDonald’s cheeseburgers. But he can’t really eat those every day!

Pretty much every day I have husky stress. I imagine this is how it is for people with human children. Yikes. It’s back of the head stress. Like you are always worrying, wondering, etc. Not forefront of the brain crying stress. But it’s always there. Stormy has been a trooper. He has gone through so, so much in the last 2 years. It’s truly not fair. But he does it with a smile pretty much every day. And he is doing really well! And I know that every day since his 2nd surgery is a blessing. It’s funny when he goes in for his check-ups – the doctors, nurses and admin staff are all so happy to see him. He is a smile maker :)

But the past couple days he has seemed a bit down. This stresses me out. Even though he has been growing his fur back at a crazy rapid rate! And I know this actually burns tons of calories (when huskies blow/re-grow their coats) so it’s no wonder is seems more tired! And he looks so cute! And happy and healthy! We get stopped on every single walk by people who ask if he is a puppy or (if they see us regularly) who comment on how awesome he looks. What a bud.

So after our walk this AM, I went to the pet store and bought a new dry dog food. He has eaten the same brand for 9 years. It’s one of the kinds they feed the mush teams on the Iditarod. Angelus loves it and Storm always has. But after his tummy issues on his cancer meds, he has been a very finicky eater. Which is so, so weird for Storm. Storm has always been a vacuum. So I make him chicken, steak and cheeseburgers every night. Mixed with his dry food. And I’ve tried different flavors of our brand and then different brands. He nibbles at them a bit but never really eats much of them. But I realized he loves his lamb and rice cookies so figured I would try a simple lamb and rice dry food. of course, there are different variations and brands and do I buy the fancier brand with all holistic (of course only made in the US), etc etc. So I was in the pet store for like 30 minutes debating.

He does eat his treats with excitement so I don’t think he has any tummy issues anymore now that we took him off his chemo. But I need to make sure he gains weight. Which means he needs to eat!

So tonight when I gave him some chicken with his new dry food (Nutro Lamb and Rice) and he ate it – actually started eating his dry nuggets and not just the chicken with melted cheese. And didn’t require to be hand fed! I was so happy :)

It’s weird how settled my own body (and soul…and brain) becomes once I stop stressing for a minute. Stress is a killer. This is for sure. So the huskies and I need to keep each other calm :)

Tonight…I am calmer. The huskies are sound asleep – Angelus is racked out on the deck and Storm on his bed with feet in the air. Pretty sure they are too. He wanted to go on 3 walks today! Plus I think he likes when he gets to hang out at home with his Mom, and it’s sunny out. He very much prefers Mom’s new schedule. Such a funny husky that likes the sun! But no denying he is much happier today.

Who knows how we (Royal We) will feel tomorrow. But we all are happy, calm and stress-free tonight :)

This is my neighborhood up in Tahoe. All this snow fell last night. The amount of husky mom fail I feel right now is unmeasurable. They should be running and bounding through the snow with that golden retriever in the video! Especially now that Stormy has his new fur coat growing in so nicely!!

If I didn’t have a doctor’s appointment at 7:30am tomorrow AM, I’d drive up there tonight. Damn.

And to think – this past weekend I was up there in sundresses and flip flops!!