a99kitten's Musings

Husband picked up Angelus’ ashes from the vet last night. The nurse there made a little paw in stone cast for him/us. Very sweet. But made me cry and miss him all over again. This really isn’t getting any easier. At all.

Put Angelus’ bed and bowls away today. Apparently I need a lot more time for this wound.

It’s snowing right now. But instead of loving it and being happy, I am just sad. I used to be so excited for snow mainly because of how much Angelus loved it. And how much fun he had in it. I’d look outside and see the snow and want to get out in it with him. Or when we’d wake up and there was a fresh snow on the ground. Heck, before we had this house, we’d drive up to Tahoe when there was a big snowstorm so that he could play in it.

Storm doesn’t care as much about it. I’m sure he likes that he is not hot but he has always been more of a couch potato than his brother, who wanted nothing more than to be outside. All the time. And in the snow? That was the absolute best.

He had one of the best snow play times on our last trip up here 2 weekends ago. The big smiles on his face as he ran through the snow with the other huskies he met or digging in the snow for chipmunks and coming up with a face covered in snow and a huge smile or just walking and sniffing as we got covered in snow were the best.

But today it’s just a painful reminder. A reminder of a big empty hole in my life.

I don’t have any other words right now. Just sadness.

Took Stormy to the vet today. It was for a blood test after his last visit where he tested slightly anemic. He’s slightly anemic because he isn’t eating well. And he’s probably not eating so well because his medication was upsetting his tummy. Sigh.

So after I ran a little “test” myself (stopped all medication for 2 full days) and seeing Storm much happier and eating and then once back on his medicine going back to not eating as much, I talked to his doctor today. Was actually just a tech appointment today for a blood test but hung out and waited for the doc who wanted to see us. After waiitng there for awhile and then being moved into a private room so “the doctor can speak to you”, you get very stressed. And let’s just say that sitting in the waiting room comparing cancer meds with other doggie and kitty moms kinda sucks and creates stress.

But really she just wanted my details on what was going on with Stormy. She also said let’s let his tummy heal. No medication except his Cushing’s meds, which he has been taking without incident for a couple years, and some OTC Pepcid AC.

I was supposed to give him one of chemo meds tonight. But the doc agreed and we are stopping them for now. Good news is that he gobbled most of his dinner tonight! And then came over to me when I was eating dinner and wanted some of mine! Which he hasn’t done in a long while. So I got some cheese and doled it out to the boys. Angelus of course always wants more people food so he was pretty happy :)

And for the first time in a about a month, I feel a bit less stressed about Storm, his eating and his meds and feel like my “no medicine for 48 hours” test might have been what we needed. Weird how stress actually can physically manifest itself. Actually feel a bit less “tight” or “wound up” tonight.

So paws crossed. But the Stormy puppy needs to be happy. And eating. :)

I gave the huskies dingo bones tonight. Angelus took his to the front yard and Storm just sat in the kitchen with his. Then I went upstairs but could watch him walking around trying to figure out a place to stash it.

It’s funny because Angelus is usually the treat hider. He moves his treats around quite a bit. He can remember hidden treats from weeks and months back. So those that dogs have no real memory have obviously just never had a dog.

And now that Storm’s Cushings is under control and he is no longer feels like he is starving every second of the day, he has taken to hiding his larger treats sometimes. I watched him take it to the billiards room but then pick it up, take it out on the upstairs deck but then pick it up and bring it back in and now he put it on his bed in the living room and is trying to “bury it” with his nose/move the bed around.

The buds are so this guy:

I love this ad :)

Came home from work yesterday very sore and tired. My leg was bothering me a lot. Too much moving around I guess. You don’t realize how much you get up and down and go here and there until you can’t or it’s a really big production to do it.

I pull into the garage and hobble out into the entry way. I had left the dogs home with husband since I knew I would only make it a half day and he promised to take them for a good walk. So I ask him if he took them for their walk yet (it was 3:30pm but still a reasonable question) and he says “Well, why don’t you sit down and get situated.” I’m like what the heck does that mean so I look for the dogs. But again…not so quick and nimble currently. He says “They are fine. We just had a bit of an issue but it’s all fine, everyone’s fine. Just sit down and rest.”

Ok, so this is basically verbatim what he said to me when 10 years ago when I left a teeny puppy Angelus in his care for the first time ever while I went to the Madonna concert with a friend. I took Angelus to work even then and so he had him there (we worked together) with his stuff, my detailed instructions and it would be only be for a few hours. But this was his first time flying solo in puppy care.

I’m at the concert and it is about to start and I get a call. He says “Ok, so everything is fine. Angelus is fine.” WHAT?? How do you start a conversation out like that when I can barely hear you due to the music they are piping in while people sit. “What happened?” I ask. So…husband left Angelus in his office with the door closed while he stepped out for a quick 15-20 minute meeting. He was sleeping so no big deal. He came back to find Angelus had climbed up onto his desk and broken into a Christmas basket of food and ate something – a big hunk of chocolate shaped like a computer mouse. WHAT???

He said he basically saw his life flash before his eyes right then. And then called the vet and explained what happened and that his wife was going it kill him dead if anything happened to Angelus. They told him try getting him to vomit right now since it just happened. How he asks? Hydrogen peroxide they say. OK – so he sends our VP of Marketing running to the store to buy some and then husband tries giving him spoonfuls. Well Angelus immediately spits it out all over himself and husband. Pretty sure he started wondering why Dad was trying to poison him.

Husband could not get any down Angelus’ throat (the key is a turkey baster.) So he called the vet back and they said bring him in NOW. So he left work and drove over and they pumped his stomach and they got him to throw up and monitored him and his vitals were all fine so he could go home after an hour or so. He also threw up the tin foil that was around the mouse. Puppies.

So he got Angelus home and called me. After telling me all this he says “I thought about not telling you since it’s all fine but you would have seen the charge for the vet on the AMEX and wondered what it was and asked me and then I would have told you and then you’d be mad for not telling you sooner. So I told you now. But he’s all fine, so enjoy your concert”

Now, you have to understand, I’ve only been gone a few hours (we had VIP passes so we went early). A few hours and this chaos occurs. Sigh. There are other stories of puppy chaos but this was the first one.

So yesterday when he said “everything was all fine” I was like what the heck happened? I’ve been gone like 5.5 hours. So I went and sat down and got my leg up on the sofa and was like ??? He’s says “It’s all fine.” Yeah – got that part.

So I have this piece of drywall that I’ve been using to block off our front entry deck so that I can keep the front door open and the yard gate open and the buddies can come and go in/out but not escape into the wild of our neighborhood. They really are awesomely well behaved so never try and jump over it or push it down. They respect the barrier. Now…if a cat was on the other side I’m not sure how much respect there would be but the neighborhood cats have learned to steer clear of our yard. And this way I do not have to hobble up and down the stairs to let the dogs in or out.

When I left the house Angelus was in the front yard and Storm was inside. This is quite typical. So apparently husband got up and then took a shower before he was going to take the dogs out. He gets out of the shower, gets dressed, grabs the leashes and calls for the dogs. Storm is right there but no Angelus. Then he notices the dry wall is askew. It was WINDY yesterday (windy like garbage cans were rolling down the street) so it looked the wind pushed it in a bit. He said it didn’t seem like enough room for a husky to escape but he couldn’t find Angelus.

He said once again, his life flashed before his eyes. He starts jogging around the neighborhood looking for Angelus, calling him, shaking his leash. Nothing. He is standing in our driveway, shaking the leash and Stormy is howling (he does that if you call continually for Angelus) and he said he can feel the fear welling up inside about telling me. Then he hears a whining. And a howling that is not Storm. So he goes around to the backyard and there is Angelus on the desk howling because he thought he was missing the walk! Why he didn’t just come running back to the front yard, I do not know. Why husband didn’t check the backyard first, I do not know.

So then he breathes sighs of relief. Leashes the dogs up and starts to leave. But he never moved the semi-tipped over drywall “gate”. So Angelus goes around it, Storm hops over it but in the process the leashes pull into 2 different directions. And he trips a bit as he was starting to stretch his leg over it and the dogs pull in 2 different directions and to steady himself puts his foot down…right on my makeshift gate. Breaking it. He also said that the first thing in his head as he was tripping was how much crow he’d have to eat if he hurt himself since this is basically how I fell – 2 dogs, 2 different directions as we go down a muddy, rocky hill and kablamo and there goes my foot/ankle – and he’s been calling me clumsy ever since. Uh-huh.

So after he is done telling me all this I ask “So did you actually take them on a good walk?” Oh yes – fun beach times, etc etc. So did you find me a replacement for my gate I ask. No – but that dry wall wasn’t going to last long anyway, we will build a good gate with the remodel (I’ve been wanting one forever) blah blah. How does this help me now? I ask. Today and next week? With me as a gimpy? Silence. Sigh.

So he left for Tahoe last night. Yes…left his disabled wife home alone. Don’t get me started. But WITHOUT my gate?!?! Grrr. So now I need to come up with one because hobbling up and down the stairs (we have a lot of stairs in this house) to let the dogs in and out will not work. I am not supposed to move much in the first 2-4 weeks and I know I already violate that. Grumble.

This is why men are not the caretakers in society. If it were all men, well….you’d all be dead.

I give Storm one of his medications every other day. I put the pill between 2 small pieces of cheese so he will just inhale it. It’s a medication women are not supposed to ever touch so I don’t want him fussing over a pill and spitting it out! they both LOVE to do that! Plus he loves cheese!

So now he knows his schedule. He knows when it’s the “every other day”. So he will stand there and look at me like “Umm…Mom…forgetting something?”.

And he now knows the sound of the ziploc bag opening. (I keep his cheese in a ziploc bag.) He can be anywhere in the house and, if hears that, he will come running! Even if I am opening something completely unrelated in another ziploc bag.

At work, a couple people have said that he has come running when they open their sandwiches or cut up vegetables…in ziploc bags.

And over the past few days with me being injured, I’ve been leaving the door open so the dogs have in-out access while we hang out. Angelus is ALWAYS outside if given the choice. But he was inside 1 time when I doled out some cheese to Storm with his medicine. And I think he was like “Hey! What’s going on in here when I’m outside!??”

So now, when he hears the ziploc bag, he runs inside too. From the front yard he hears it and runs in. These boys have some good hearing.

They both picked up on this pattern after 1 time. So whoever says dogs aren’t smart (or that only certain breeds are smart) hasn’t met the right ones.

Angelus says it is too deep in the backyard – fix it. :)

But I do think I wore the huskies out. They are both sound asleep tonight. And not even looking at the front door.

From our first walk yesterday after we FINALLY arrived.

And then after our walk this AM.

Angelus playing in the driveway.