{"id":886,"date":"2009-08-18T13:24:11","date_gmt":"2009-08-18T20:24:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/a99kitten.com\/?p=886"},"modified":"2009-08-18T13:24:11","modified_gmt":"2009-08-18T20:24:11","slug":"why-women-love-shoes%e2%80%a6in-words-a-man-can-understand","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/a99kitten.com\/?p=886","title":{"rendered":"Why Women Love Shoes\u2026in words a man can understand."},"content":{"rendered":"

A friend sent me this saying he thought it was fitting for my blog with my obvious love of shoes :)<\/em><\/p>\n

There are many unsolved mysteries in the world\u2014Stonehenge, the final resting place of Jimmy Hoffa, the Hodge conjecture, and why when cows laugh, milk doesn\u2019t come out of their noses. Still, these mysteries are shared irrespective of gender. Only a precious few mysteries exhibit gender bias, where one sex simply cannot fathom what appears so obvious to the other.<\/p>\n

Near the top of this list is man\u2019s seemingly complete inability to understand women\u2019s love of shoes. And I mean LOVE, love. I mean, \u201chelloooo lover\u201d love. Make no mistake, men understand women love shoes\u2014black shoes, pink shoes, peep toe pumps, espadrilles, mary janes, pumps, ballet flats, sandals, stilettos, flip-flops, wedges, strappy high heels, and boots (ok, these fascinate most men as well, btw, although likely for different reasons). For every significant other with whom a women shares a closet or apartment or house, however, stands a man baffled by the mystery that is this love affair.<\/p>\n

To enable us to nod politely at each other in quiet recognition the next time the conversation turns to shoes, let me put this love of shoes into terms only a man could fully understand. This new knowledge will be shared for generations and someday used for good. Simply put, women love shoes the same way men love women. To understand women\u2019s love of shoes, men simply need to know the greatness of women\u2019s shoes parallels the potential of women at their greatest: <\/p>\n

–\tYou can choose one for any occasion
\n–\tThey come in different heights and colors to suit your needs
\n–\tThey would support your every move
\n–\tThey would be soft where you want them to be and firm in all the right places
\n–\tThey would never step out without you
\n–\tYou could have a lot of them without significant consequence
\n–\tThey would ask for little except to be worn out through a day of hard pounding
\n–\tThe slightest of bad odors would perfectly match your own
\n–\tAny disease they would give you, you gave first
\n–\tTheir adornment in jewels would both heighten their beauty and your class
\n–\tEven if you walk all over them, they would still sit by your bedside and be ready for you the next day
\n–\tEven when flat, they rock that look
\n–\tYou could use the nickname F Me Pumps and everyone would understand
\n–\tYou could get multiple pairs in a single day
\n–\tThey would often reveal just enough to intrigue you\u2026. to titillate\u2026.
\n–\tYou would know exactly how much they\u2019ll cost you
\n–\tThey would often come in leather
\n–\tWhen not seen for a long time, they would give you renewed hope and wonder when you do gaze upon them again, offering to be there when the time (and outfit) is right
\n–\tIf one wore out, you could easily get another
\n–\tYOU could choose how tight or loose the grip they get to have on you
\n–\tThey don\u2019t care if you are with others; they\u2019ll be at home waiting for their turn
\n–\tThey have depth and texture that invites you in but can only be truly seen when close
\n–\tThey come as twins\u2014standard<\/p>\n

While non-exhaustive (and feel free to add to the list), I\u2019m sure men around the world can feel a little bit more at ease understanding that much more easily women\u2019s fascination with shoes. Now, Hoffa\u2019s shoes? I\u2019m guessing cement\u2026.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A friend sent me this saying he thought it was fitting for my blog with my obvious love of shoes :) There are many unsolved mysteries in the world\u2014Stonehenge, the final resting place of Jimmy Hoffa, the Hodge conjecture, and why when cows laugh, milk doesn\u2019t come out of their noses. Still, these mysteries are […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[38,93],"tags":[28],"class_list":["post-886","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-fashion","category-funny","tag-shoes"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/a99kitten.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/886","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/a99kitten.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/a99kitten.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/a99kitten.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/a99kitten.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=886"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/a99kitten.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/886\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":891,"href":"https:\/\/a99kitten.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/886\/revisions\/891"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/a99kitten.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=886"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/a99kitten.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=886"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/a99kitten.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=886"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}