{"id":2810,"date":"2010-08-18T11:27:08","date_gmt":"2010-08-18T18:27:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/a99kitten.com\/?p=2810"},"modified":"2010-08-18T11:27:08","modified_gmt":"2010-08-18T18:27:08","slug":"an-atheist-in-the-woods","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/a99kitten.com\/?p=2810","title":{"rendered":"AN ATHEIST IN THE WOODS …"},"content":{"rendered":"

An atheist was walking through the woods.<\/p>\n

‘What majestic trees!’
\n‘What powerful rivers!’
\n‘What beautiful animals!’
\nHe said to himself.<\/p>\n

As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him.<\/p>\n

He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him! <\/em><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing in on him. He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer.<\/p>\n

He tripped & fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw & raising his right paw to strike him. <\/em><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

At that instant moment, the Atheist cried out ‘Oh my God!’<\/p>\n

Time stopped.
\nThe bear froze.
\nThe forest was silent.<\/p>\n

As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky.<\/p>\n

‘You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don’t exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?’<\/p>\n

The atheist looked directly into the light, and said: ‘It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian?’<\/p>\n

‘Very well’, said the voice.<\/p>\n

The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head & spoke: <\/em><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

‘Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from Thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen.’<\/em><\/p>\n

Hehehehehe….this cute bear face reminds me of Angelus :)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

An atheist was walking through the woods. ‘What majestic trees!’ ‘What powerful rivers!’ ‘What beautiful animals!’ He said to himself. As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him! He ran as fast as he […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[147,93],"tags":[740,236],"class_list":["post-2810","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-cute-animal-stuff","category-funny","tag-atheists","tag-bears"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/a99kitten.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2810","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/a99kitten.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/a99kitten.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/a99kitten.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/a99kitten.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2810"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/a99kitten.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2810\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2816,"href":"https:\/\/a99kitten.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2810\/revisions\/2816"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/a99kitten.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2810"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/a99kitten.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2810"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/a99kitten.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2810"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}