{"id":1781,"date":"2010-01-05T12:25:28","date_gmt":"2010-01-05T19:25:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/a99kitten.com\/?p=1781"},"modified":"2010-01-05T12:25:28","modified_gmt":"2010-01-05T19:25:28","slug":"a-funny","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/a99kitten.com\/?p=1781","title":{"rendered":"A funny :)"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><em>This joke was emailed to me&#8230;I&#8217;m still laughing at loud :)<\/em><\/p>\n<p>So after landing my new job as a Wal-Mart greeter, a good find for many retirees, I lasted less than a day.  About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance. <\/p>\n<p>As I had  been instructed, I said pleasantly, &#8216;Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart. Nice children you have there.  Are they twins?&#8217;  The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, &#8216;H*** no, they ain&#8217;t twins.  The oldest one&#8217;s 9, and the other one&#8217;s 7.  Why the hell would you think they&#8217;re twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?&#8217; <\/p>\n<p>So I replied, &#8216;I&#8217;m neither blind nor stupid, Ma&#8217;am, I just couldn&#8217;t believe someone slept with you twice.  Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.&#8217; <\/p>\n<p>My supervisor said I probably wasn&#8217;t cut out for this line of work. <\/p>\n<p><em>This would be me too :)<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>This joke was emailed to me&#8230;I&#8217;m still laughing at loud :) So after landing my new job as a Wal-Mart greeter, a good find for many retirees, I lasted less than a day. About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into the store with her [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[93],"tags":[622],"class_list":["post-1781","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-funny","tag-walmart"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/a99kitten.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1781","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/a99kitten.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/a99kitten.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/a99kitten.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/a99kitten.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1781"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/a99kitten.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1781\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1784,"href":"https:\/\/a99kitten.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1781\/revisions\/1784"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/a99kitten.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1781"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/a99kitten.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1781"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/a99kitten.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1781"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}