{"id":1133,"date":"2009-09-10T12:48:56","date_gmt":"2009-09-10T19:48:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/a99kitten.com\/?p=1133"},"modified":"2009-09-10T12:48:56","modified_gmt":"2009-09-10T19:48:56","slug":"words-for-women-to-live-by","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/a99kitten.com\/?p=1133","title":{"rendered":"Words for women to live by&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><em>These make me smile&#8230;because they are true. I&#8217;ve highlighted my favorites :)<\/em><\/p>\n<p>1. Aspire to be Barbie &#8211; the bitch has everything.<\/p>\n<p><strong>2. If the shoe fits &#8211; buy them in every color.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>3. Take life with a pinch of salt&#8230; A wedge of lime, and a shot of tequila.<\/p>\n<p>4. In need of a support group? &#8211; Cocktail hour with the girls!<\/p>\n<p>5. Go on the 30 day diet. (I&#8217;m on it and so far I&#8217;ve lost 15 days).<\/p>\n<p>6. When life gets you down &#8211; just put on your big girl panties and deal with it.<\/p>\n<p><strong>7.  A good friend will help you move.  A true friend will help you move the body.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>8. I know I&#8217;m in my own little world, but it&#8217;s ok. They know me here.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>9. Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself.<\/p>\n<p>10. Don&#8217;t get your knickers in a knot; it solves nothing and makes you<br \/>\n      walk funny.<\/p>\n<p> 11. When life gives you lemons &#8211; turn it into lemonade then<br \/>\n      mix it with vodka.<\/p>\n<p>12. Remember where ever there is a good looking; sweet, single or<br \/>\n      married man there is some woman tired of his bullshit!<\/p>\n<p>13. Keep your chin up, only the first 40 years of parenthood are the hardest.<\/p>\n<p>14. If it has Tyres or Testicles it&#8217;s gonna give you trouble.<\/p>\n<p>15. By the time a women realizes her mother was right, she has a<br \/>\n     daughter who thinks she&#8217;s wrong.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>These make me smile&#8230;because they are true. I&#8217;ve highlighted my favorites :) 1. Aspire to be Barbie &#8211; the bitch has everything. 2. If the shoe fits &#8211; buy them in every color. 3. Take life with a pinch of salt&#8230; A wedge of lime, and a shot of tequila. 4. In need of a [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[93],"tags":[326],"class_list":["post-1133","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-funny","tag-women"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/a99kitten.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1133","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/a99kitten.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/a99kitten.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/a99kitten.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/a99kitten.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1133"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/a99kitten.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1133\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1138,"href":"https:\/\/a99kitten.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1133\/revisions\/1138"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/a99kitten.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1133"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/a99kitten.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1133"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/a99kitten.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1133"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}