{"id":109,"date":"2009-06-06T11:24:00","date_gmt":"2009-06-06T18:24:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/a99kitten.com\/?p=109"},"modified":"2009-06-06T11:24:00","modified_gmt":"2009-06-06T18:24:00","slug":"two-poems-that-speak-the-absolute-truth","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/a99kitten.com\/?p=109","title":{"rendered":"Two poems that speak the absolute truth…"},"content":{"rendered":"
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A WOMAN’S POEM:<\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Before I lay me down to sleep,<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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I pray for a man, who’s not a creep,<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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One who’s handsome, smart, and strong.<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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One who loves to listen long,<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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One who thinks before he speaks,<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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One who’ll call, not wait for weeks.<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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I pray he’s gainfully employed,<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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When I spend his cash, won’t be annoyed.<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Pulls out my chair and opens my door.<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Massages my back and begs to do more.<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Oh! Send me a man who’ll make love to my mind,<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Knows what to answer to ‘how big is my behind?’<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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I pray that this man will love me to no end,<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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And always be my very best friend.<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n
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A MAN’S POEM:<\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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I pray for a deaf-mute gymnast nymphomaniac with<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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huge boobs and a nice ass who owns a bar on a golf course,<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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and loves to send me fishing and drinking. This<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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doesn’t rhyme and I don’t give a shit. The End<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A WOMAN’S POEM: Before I lay me down to sleep, I pray for a man, who’s not a creep, One who’s handsome, smart, and strong. One who loves to listen long, One who thinks before he speaks, One who’ll call, not wait for weeks. I pray he’s gainfully employed, When I spend his cash, won’t […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[93,86],"tags":[98,97,96,99,95,94],"class_list":["post-109","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-funny","category-silly-thoughts","tag-best-friend","tag-love","tag-man","tag-nymphomaniac","tag-poem","tag-woman"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/a99kitten.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/109","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/a99kitten.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/a99kitten.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/a99kitten.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/a99kitten.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=109"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/a99kitten.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/109\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":113,"href":"https:\/\/a99kitten.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/109\/revisions\/113"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/a99kitten.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=109"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/a99kitten.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=109"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/a99kitten.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=109"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}