Between driving back to the SF Bay Area from Tahoe yesterday morning and driving on (2-lane) Highway 92 from the coastside daily it made me remember a reason I hate the Bay Area…the unlimited amount of *idgit drivers. So here is a checklist I think they should include with all DMV tests & renewals:
1. Are you medicated in any fashion? Stay off the freeways and for godsakes stay OUT of the fast lane.
2. Are you so old you have zero reflexes left? Stay off the freeways and for godsakes stay OUT of the fast lane.
3. Did you come from a country where there are no driving laws beyond ‘look straight ahead and pray’? Stay off the freeways and for godsakes stay OUT of the fast lane.
4. Is your day so packed that the only time you have to talk on the phone, yell at your kids in the backseat, do your makeup, shave your beard, brush your hair, eat your breakfast/lunch/dinner/4th meal, or daydream is when you are driving? Stay off the freeways and for godsakes stay OUT of the fast lane.
5. Are you so unable to confront anything or anyone that when forced to merge with other traffic you simply don’t look – you just stare forward, drive and hope everyone else is paying attention so no accidents occur? Stay off the freeways!
5. Are you the proud smug owner of a Prius who feels that since you contribute so much to society by saving the planet one car trip at a time, you can drive as slow as you want and don’t care about the cars in back of you? Stay the F out of the fast lane. Your little carpool sticker means nothing once carpool lane time is over. And if you are stopping the flow of traffic by going 55mph on a 65mph freeway in the fast lane – you are only giving more people reason to run you off the road. And breaking the law..move to the right.
I think this list should be sent with everyone’s registration and license renewals…
*idgit =
9:22 pm on June 2nd, 2009
Very nice read. I need a mental picture of your frustration. Do you calmly process the events unfolding before you in the windshield, slowly coming to a boil by the time you get home. Or, are you honking, waving your arms, and throwing the gestures and shocked looks out at all these bastards?
10:19 pm on June 2nd, 2009
lol! It totally and completely depends on the exact events as they unfold as well as my mood (big factor!) I can say I usually just take it in calmly and shake my head. But then there are times when I am quite glad I do not have a black box in my cockpit recording everything I say :)