a99kitten’s Musings

http://finance.yahoo.com/retirement/article/110553/jackpot-winners-just-as-likely-to-go-bust

This article is about a study done on lottery winners and how they go bankrupt too…just a bit later.

While I do believe that on occasion a lucky winner who spent $1 or $5 on lotto tickets every so often and can win and – bang! Wow! Lucky! Most people spend a lot of money, money that can probably not afford, buying tickets in search of the big payout. Am I against the lotto? No. Not at all. But it should be seen as a FUN thing. With disposable income spent on it. Like Bingo or something. Just like any form of gambling. Not your rent money, not your grocery money, not your kid’s lunch money.

The main reason, in my personal opinion, that lotto winners (or any type of big payout really – insurance settlement anyone?) still end up with nothing is that they simply don’t know how to manage money. They don’t know how to plan for the future. Oh kinda like people who took more and more equity lines out on their homes when they had no business accessing that money.

What were they thinking when they did this? Were they thinking how they were going to pay off their home anytime in the future? Or using the money to improve their home’s value? Were they doing the math on how they were going to pay it back? Quite a few took the cash and bought newer cars, bigger TVs, nice vacations and more crap. I’m all for shopping and keeping the global economy alive and well – if you can afford it. And definitely not if somehow my tax dollars is going to have to bail your irresponsible ass out some day.

I know there were plenty of unscrupulous mortgage brokers getting these loans approved but at the end of the day – you signed the papers and took their money and spent it. You are responsible for your own condition. Period. No one else is. Unless you are 5 years old. If you didn’t understand the ARMs and interest rates then you should not have signed those papers.

The study has policy implications for governments deciding how to help heavily indebted people who are struggling during economic downturns, Hoekstra says. It appears the simplest solution — giving them cash — doesn’t enhance longer-term financial stability, and only postpones, rather than avoids, bankruptcy. The lottery findings are consistent with a 2007 research paper that showed consumers initially used their 2001 federal rebate checks to reduce debt, but eventually debt returned to its pre-rebate level.

“Our research suggests that perhaps there is something more systematic about the types of people who get themselves into financial trouble — and the appropriate policy prescription for helping them out is going to be considerably more complex than giving them additional resources,” says Hoekstra.

This is fact. You cannot give people money and expect them to fix their own problems and improve their lives. And you can’t give people something for nothing. See the never-ending money pit of government entitlement programs for proof.

Giving people money for, or cutting what they owe on, their mortgage loans is not the solution. And penalizing and vilifying the banks while allowing the loan holder to skate is BS. And having more and more government control over banks and lending is a GIANT mistake. See any government body for their efficiency and ability to get anything done.

So play the lotto if you have a spare $2 in your pocket. I do when it gets up to the giant gazillion dollar pots! I love fantasizing about my 100 acres in Wyoming and shopping trips! It’s fun. But if you are going in and spending $20-$50 a week (and I’ve been there behind the people buying them) in hopes of hitting it rich…well…I sure as hell hope you don’t have a mortgage loan you are defaulting on or kids who need new shoes.

This was a line in a book I just read. Fiction, crime-drama, about a psycho serial killer who not only rapes women but murders them slowly after torturing them. You know, light beach reading. But I’m sorry – what animal isn’t better than that? The cockroach in the storm drain is better than that.

Frankly, that is an insult to animals. Animals don’t rape, torture and murder just for sport. For the sheer psycho pleasure in it. After yesterday and today’s stuff on the internet about the girl who threw the puppy in the river for fun – is there really any question? And I’m sure she is not the only one guilty of horrific acts – just the one with a friend so stupid that she/he videoed it and put it on the internet. I can only hope she is tracked down and shot between the eyes by a crazed PETA fanatic. No, I’m not kidding. And no, I don’t think that’s harsh. People like that don’t deserve to breathe air.

I wish I could unread and unknow about this. I decided a couple weeks back not to read any more news where the headlines are obviously upsetting. I already know there is a lot of evil and shit in this world. A lot of pure, evil scumbags. I don’t need to be reminded of it. It replays in my head over and over. I needed a 3 hour hike today to try and get it out of my head and re-see nature and beauty. It worked. For those 3 hours.

Rapists, pedophiles, murderers – anyone who garners pleasure from harming another deserves to just be killed. And no, not just to humans. Statistically proven that many a child abuser, wife abuser, serial killer has started by harming animals. And guess what – they can’t be fixed. They don’t actually change inside. Period. F them. They don’t deserve any help. Or sympathy. Or even oxygen.

My dogs would stand up and fight to the death to protect me. And they love me wholeheartedly no matter what. I pity the person than ever tried to hurt them. Momma bear don’t play.

People can disagree about animals being “family members”. Animals not being as important as people in this world. That’s up to you. But to get pleasure of any kind from deliberately harming animals (yes, including sport hunters and fishermen here) – you have a screw loose. It’s just a matter of how many. I could go on and rant forever about this but I won’t. I could start on about vigilante justice, but I won’t (here and now anyway.)

Maybe the best super power would be to be a Batman-type. But for animals. And even more hardcore than the grumpiest version of him. He kills bad guys. He knows that sometimes you have to. Start with poachers, abusers, the little blonde bitch in the video. How could the world NOT be a better place without this kind of scum in it? Riddle me that Batman.

But animals definitely do have a flaw, their true flaw is that they sometimes trust humans unconditionally. Huge mistake.

~ begin rant

My husband and I started a company back when he was still in business school and I worked at a hedge fund. Our “office” was our tiny little guest room in the apartment we rented in Palo Alto between my office and his school. He and another co-founder came up with the idea(s) for the business and started implementing them and I handled all the administration to set it up. Was teeny – not too big of a big deal time-wise for me. Helped with customer service a bit too but then we hired someone (thank god!)

Now, at my “day job” I was the officially the ‘Executive Assistant to the Managing General Partner’. Now, what I actually did was all the typical exec assisitant stuff for him (ever see The Devil Wears Prada? Those were typical days and requests – really rich people are odd ducks) and then I handled his personal finances (rich people have really messed-up complicated finances), managed his house staff, managed his multiple homes, travel, travel and dealing with schools for his 4 kids, communication between he and his ex-wife (that was fun), finding new nannies, Investor Relations for all of the various funds, Portfolio Accounting for all of the various funds, IT for the office, HR crap for the office, dealing with a 2nd ex-wife, and general office manager type stuff. A 10-hour day was a short day. I only outline to show I was pretty busy already but also know how to do a range of jobs…

Anyway, when it came time to get some funding, I set up a meeting between my husband (actually fiancee at the time) and my boss. He was stressed since he had no business plan put together and I told him – he doesn’t care about paperwork. He wants you to go in there and explain how you are going to build a business and make money. Very simple. It took quite a while to convince him that he would be OK. To know him now, you wouldn’t actually think he would have been insecure about that. But he when in without a “on paper” business plan and it worked and he got seed money plus my boss introduced him to other people with seed money (some of those same investors invested in another company of ours more recently) who then got him in with the biggest angel investor in Silicon Valley. And that investor then got him in with Sequoia. So while I’m sure my husband could have done all of this on his own, he didn’t. I helped.

I worked not only full-time at my job (my hours were really more like 7am – 7pm) but I then came home (and then to our temporary office space that we got as we grew and grew) and did all the admin work for our new company. Plus all the bill paying, house keeping, personal errands for us both, blah blah. Then husband asked that I start full time which meant I would quit my old job. Whoa. That was hard since I really, really liked my job, my boss, my co-workers and the entire industry. And my boss preferred I stay. But he understood. Sometimes I wonder if that was the wisest choice I ever made…but I did leave.

Our company was growing fast and our COO (who came from a big company background and not a start-up culture) thought having the CEO’s wife (we were married by now) do HR might not be so great since employees want to feel comfortable with HR. We didn’t want to foster a kindergarten/baby-sitting type of HR culture and didn’t make any changes right away besides hire someone to work in HR with me but eventually the COO got his way and hired a Director of HR from another big company. Who then filled out his department of 5 (including him.) I still had tons to do without HR (did stuff in Finance, Legal, all of the stock option admin, investor and Board relations, took over and managed facilities and office manager type stuff) so I didn’t protest. And I got to have a 9-10 hour day instead of a 14-16 hour day. Kinda nice. Plus, I didn’t want some weird perception of me. I already knew there was as I heard some rumors of employees saying I only married my husband because he was the CEO (umm…when I met him and for several years after I made more money than he did you schmucks. And we started the company together well after he met me. Jealous and insecure much?) I thought these guys are more trained in HR and should know better anyway, right? Uh-huh.

Company still grew but then 2001 came and the economy tanked and business deals tanked and then 9/11 and we did 2 big rounds of layoffs between summer and fall. Then we had to bootstrap and did a final round in which I got laid off too as my husband felt showing me preferential treatment would be bad. So he kept one of the others from HR to manage that stuff. Ok…

I started a consulting business and had several good clients and kinda liked it – my own schedule, worked from home most of the time or at the client homes. Got to run my errands during off commute hours, take the huskies to the beach all the time. Pretty chill. I wasn’t working a gazillion hours and being stressed all the time. I highly recommend it if you can do it…

Then husband said that the HR rep just didn’t show up for a couple days. I won’t go into too many details about her deal but she basically stole a small amount of money plus was having trouble at home, blah blah. So he asked if I could take on the HR work as a part-time contractor since we were pretty small once again. Sure. I added my old company job (and still part MY company stock-wise) to my consulting jobs.

Boy…the mess I found created by the old HR department. 401k annual reports not filed correctly or at all for years, COBRA paperwork not done correctly, personnel files were a mess, insurance bills not audited and being over paid or not even right at all with coverage, and on and on. WTH did these 5 highly-compensated people do in there all day??? So I fixed it. Plus took over a project to wind down a segment of our business when our Controller needed the help.

Then when our Controller blew a mental gasket and just didn’t show up one day…or 5 days later, I took over our accounts payables/receivables, corporate insurance and payroll until we found a new one. And kept the jobs of payroll, corporate insurance and paying all of the admin/HR bills since I just fixed all of our relationships with the companies.

And then we grew and husband asked if I could come back on full-time. So I did. Phased out my other consulting jobs and came back full time. And have been doing it since then. Paid less than the other HR people had been when I started back. Did get a bump up more to market a couple years ago but husband always worried about the “optics” of him giving me raises or stock option grants. I’m not complaining, I’m not working for slave wages or anything by any means, but I note that I am still paid less than that Director of HR we “needed” who apparently couldn’t manage his department. Wonder what he is doing now? I sure hope he or his team are not in charge of anyone’s HR department…

I don’t want credit or accolades. I don’t ask to be recognized or care about titles or look or ask for raises, bonuses, etc etc. I have a job to do, I do it. I get things done. And correctly. But in the same vein, what I also don’t want is to hear (still? again?) is that people think the only reason I have this job at all is because the CEO was my husband. Really awesome to see people still believe that. *awesome* Who the F are you to say or assume that?

Or to think you can do or parse out my job “easily”. You want to add my job to yours – be my f***ing guest. I’m not saying other people can’t do my job – there are plenty of good HR/Administrative/office people out there. But it’s not so easy to find them – because they probably have great jobs already.

All I have to say you jackasses is a big F.O.

~end rant

Finally sold my old car today. While I absolutely love my new car, it felt kinda weird to sign him (yes, the Jeep was a him) over. I’ve had him since December 1995. Longer than I’ve had my husband.

I bought him brand new after getting side-swiped and almost crushed in my Miata – felt that I needed a bigger, safer car for driving up to Tahoe (just learned to snowboard then.) And boy – this Jeep has kept me and the huskies very safe in our rainy, foggy, snowy, windy-road and mountainy travels :)

223k miles and pretty much perfect condition as far as the body goes. Needs new tires. And the engine has to go at some point, right? But the guy who bought it got it for his son who is going to put a low-mileage engine in him and drive as an off-road truck. So hopefully my safe Jeep karma can pass to him too :) And I’m happy to know he will be used and not just crushed. I felt a bit sad thinking about that happening (talking cars in movies can do that to you!)

Bye Jeep – thanks for taking care of me and the huskies all these years…

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/07/07/business/economy/07generation.html?pagewanted=2&_r=1

Wow. This kid is one of the bigger spoiled brats I’ve read about NOT coming out of Hollywood…

Let’s see…

Your grandparents paid for all 4 years of college plus boarding;

After graduating and not finding your “dream” job you lived at your parents house, not only room and board free, but they also pay for your cell phone and life insurance;

You now live with your brother where your parents cover your portion of the rent;

A job that you were offered started at $40K a year but you turned it down as a bad opportunity/not good enough for you.

Wah.

The American Dream is elusive for you because its achieved through a lot of hard work, sweat and perseverance. Not hoping the right dream job lands in your lap so you can leave your parent’s cushy nest eventually.

Loser.

I really hate when people use the term “throwing someone to the wolves” when referring to how someone wasn’t cared for properly, or how they would be on their own to fend for themselves in a harsh situation, or stuff like that.

Wolf packs actually care very much for their pack mates. Pups are cared for by not only the mother but the father and other pack mates.

So what people actually should be saying is throwing someone to the homo sapiens because you are much more likely to get a crappy parent/family/boss/etc from the humanoid world than from the Canis lupus one….

Would rather be raised by...

My birthday weekend is coming to a close. I think I did OK on my birthday gluttony as far as eating, drinking and general merriment went. Was still busy and stressed with work so I pretty much kept it to a minimum. I’ve mostly been tired so wanting to just hang out with huskies and read in the sun – pretty much the best activities anyway :)

I had my pre-Eclipse dinner with girlfriends that my birthday snuck into last Tuesday, Eclipse (squeal!) and then a comic book store excursion and a nice dinner with friends on Friday, hung out with huskies a lot, finished my book AND one of my new Wonder Woman graphic novels (and the new WW), had dinner with more friends at the house on Sunday night and went to the lake today, hung out, watched (other) doggies play in the water and had a Wet Woody (yummy drink…mind out of the gutter!)

And I did end the day and the weekend with 2 glasses of Gloria Ferrar Blanc de Noir (courtesy of @missmelon leftover from last night) and some homemade Hawaiian poke. One of my all-time favorite combos/meals. Sushi grade tuna and bubbly – perfect combo in flavors.

Back to work tomorrow. I take a week off for my birthday/July 4th every year. With 2 weekends and 5 weekdays = 9 awesome days in Tahoe. This year it got changed due to work. So instead of the annual week off at this time, I will shoot for this past 3-day weekend and a 4-day weekend starting Thursday! We’ll see. Fingers crossed…

p.s. it’s Harrison Ford’s birthday on the 13th so July really is an excellent month :)

Found this on YouTube and grinned the whole way through. I don’t give a crippity-crap about meeting celebrities. But I would love to meet this man.

Started reading my new Vanity Fair tonight (the one with the gorgeous Liz Taylor on the cover) and got to their monthly poll. This one is titled “Admitting Our Mistakes” although I don’t see most of the questions really about that.

It’s funny. I’ve always considered the majority of Vanity Fair readers to be very liberal and comfortable/well-off/just plain wealthy. I am not liberal, at all, but I do love all of the great pictures, fun articles about old/monied scandal and even the gorgeous ads of all sorts of fun stuff to buy :) Years and years ago, I started subscribing solely because of Dominick Dunne’s monthly column. And did think I might cancel once he passed away. But I’ve kept it so far since I did cancel all the rest of my magazines except for Sports Illustrated and Vogue (yeah…a bit of weird mix but that’s me :) )

Anyway, example of questions: “If you could live in a movie for one day, whose life would you want?” Overwhelming winner – Indiana Jones. Caught my attention! :) (sigh…) The other choices in order: Ferris Bueller, Carrie Bradshaw, Don Corleone, Gordon Gekko, Ilsa Lund (Casablanca) and Lara Croft (Tomb Raider). I’m sure a psyche major would have a field day with those answers :)

Other questions:
2. “Do You think it is sometimes justified for the C.I.A. to resort to assassination, or it is never justified.” The majority is sometimes justified. I wouldn’t have guessed that from this crowd (have you ever read the Letters to the Editor?? Fn tree-huggers)

3. Apparently the University of North Dakota retired their mascot, the Fighting Sioux, on the grounds it gives offense to Native Americans. What should happen to other references (Washington Redskins, Atlanta Braves)?

Overwhelming vote was to keep them. Only 12% said retire. That truly did surprise me because tree-huggers are also ridiculously, over-the-top, make-me-gag PC…

3. When you hear the name Robert M Gates, what profession comes to mind?” Computer pioneer was the clear winner. Umm…not Bill Gates people…and hello – aren’t you limousine liberals always all pissy about the Defense Secretary, no matter who it is?

There are a lot of questions so I won’t bore you with more. But I will say some of the answers surprised me. I personally believe (since I personally know people like this) that people will sometimes say things, or agree with things, to not cause controversy in the crowd they are in. But anonymously, the answers might be different. Especially when you live in an area like the SF Bay Area like I do where the dirty hippies run rampant. I am not like this. At all. In any way. My friends either love me or hate me for this reason :)

So I did find these answers (well, some of them) interesting. And points to the truism that you cannot judge a book by its cover. Or not everything is black and white. Or just because you are a staunch conservative doesn’t mean you hate the environment and, in fact, prefer it and the fluffy over most, if not all, people and all of their BS. Oh wait…that might just apply to me :)

Great movie. Jeff Bridges definitely deserved his Oscar. I have loved him forever. So, so good in everything I have seen him in. Weird watching him in this character though. Was so like my father. Not that my father was a washed-up country music star but definite similarities. p.s. he also reminded me of Kris Kristopherson!

My dad was a drummer. He played in jazz clubs before he married my Mom. Before he was legal to be in those clubs. When he was still a junior in high school. He played with guys who went on to play/tour with Chick Corea, Edgar Winters, Eddie Van Halen and some other famous guys. But my Dad did the “responsible” thing. He got married, got a respectable job, etc. If I had to guess, he wishes he never did that. Not that he doesn’t love me and my brother or my Mom, I never questioned that. But I know that he always wondered “what if?” He should have made different decisions at many crossroads in his life but didn’t. He should have.

Like Jeff Bridges’ character, he was/is an alcoholic (and chain smoker…they must go hand in hand?) Maybe because of seeing his life play out, I do not buy into that bullshi** psych excuse. Maybe your body chemistry allows you to be more susceptible to being weak to addiction, but that just means you need to be strong. For you. Your family. Job. Friends. Whatever. Whoever. You are not a victim. It’s not a disease. Whatever it is – drugs, alcoholism, gambling, being a weak schmuck, whatever. You are strong or you are weak. Period. “Poor me. It’s just how I am” is not an excuse. My father would kick your ass for saying it. Weakness is not a justifier for stupid decisions.

Life can be tough. Life owes you nothing. Suck it up. Expect nothing that you don’t get yourself. I think these were the best gifts/lessons my father taught me. He would have never won the “Father Knows Best” award. But I will always love him for those lessons.

Bad’s/Otis’ life ended up a bit better than my Dad’s. If you’ve seen the movie, it’s not saying much. And I sometimes cry a little wishing things were different for him. That he made different choices. But then I stop, knowing he’d shake his head at me…

p.s. less emo bullet points to remember:
1. I’d like point out that only country stars (and the rat pack) can live life, be a drunk, basically die, live dead-ish, and come back to life and still consistently make good music. Pop, R&B, dance and rap can suck it.
1.i. old school stars are exempt from statement a
1.ii. “old school” from statement b applies to people decently older than me.
2. you are allowed to get a touch emo when you have such awesome huskies in your life.
3. Colin Farrell is ridiculously hot no matter what he does.
3.i. And he can sing. Who knew?
3.ii. I hate long hair on guys but he’s still hot….
4. yes, I’ve read too many legal docs this week…

A good life lesson is to never, ever accept being second choice. Because you will always feel that way. People are selfish It’s hard not to be at some point in life. But the ones that go to extremes to show they are not, are the worst ones. Because any kind of victim mentality (oh look at me being so nice) is worse than ANYTHING. Hate those people. Puke. You will usually find they are the ones that stabbed you in the back.

Its why dogs/animals are the best. You just don’t have to wonder about them..their motives. People = not so much.

It’s also why having close friends/family is key. If you find people who you trust with more than your life – keep ‘em. It’s such a rare find.

But sadly most people aren’t worth the effort.